Ryan in Osaka

"The Wind"

2007-07-15T12:44:00.000+09:00

German Windmill Company Ad:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2mTLO2F_ERY

2007-04-28T03:58:00.000+09:00

Sorry I haven't updated in like a million billion years or thereabouts, but you can expect a big update soon. Trust me.

Meanwhile, here's an article to read that exemplifies the complexities of Japanese people. (Article credit goes to Ariana):

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=263297

I'll bet they're feeling a little sheepish right now.

Ryan at the Cinema: A Semi-Annual Update

2007-03-07T12:21:00.000+09:00

Due to extremely high demand, I'm going to give you a chart of movies that you can invite me to see over the next six months.

March 9th, 2007: 300
March 30th, 2007: The Host
April 6th, 2007: Grindhouse
April 27th, 2007: The Condemned
May 4th, 2007: Spiderman 3
May 11th, 2007: 28 Weeks Later
May 18th, 2007: Shrek 3
May 25th, 2007: Pirates of the Caribbean 3
June 8th, 2007: Oceans 13
June 15th, 2007: Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer
July 4th, 2007: Live Free or Die Hard
July 14th, 2007: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
July 27th, 2007: The Simpsons Movie
August 3rd, 2007: The Bourne Ultimatum
August 3rd, 2007: Rise
August 10th, 2007: Rush Hour 3 (Don't Never Touch a Black Man's Radio Part III)
August 17th, 2007: The Invasion
September 21st, 2007: Resident Evil: Extinction
September 28th, 2007: The Kingdom

Anything else, just ask.

Lactose-Free Fun in Halifax, Nova Scotia

2007-02-27T15:03:00.000+09:00

Flashback to my Early Childhood:
All of the neighbourhood's children were playing in the street. I was playing the lute, as I often did, and was quite good. All of a sudden, a familiar jingly music started playing from afar that interrupted my lute-playing. Silence came across the neighbourhood and with eyes open wide, the neighbourhood children furrowed their brows in an attempt to understand whether or not this was a false alarm.

Suddenly, the silence was broken. "Ice Cream Man! Ice Cream Man!" shrieked one child as the truck came into view. The children scampered to their houses to empty their piggy-banks and probably pawn their jewelry. They emerged from their houses with crisp dollar bills as they chased down the ice cream truck to secure their favorite dairy snack.

I stood, frozen with fear, unable to make a move or play a bar on my lute. Suddenly, adrenaline hit me and I disappeared into my house, foudn a large, empty bucket, and climbed inside, trembling with fear.

Six hours later, Momma came by, explaining my disappearance to a concerned neighbourhood mother who was eager to hear more majestic lute tunes. "Y'see, God don' want him drink no milk," barked Momma, matter-of-factedly. "My son ain't like no other sons on the block. He can't eat no whippin' cream, he can't drink no whole milk... he... he be alhurgenic to the dairy. He weak." My own mother... called me weak. What a day! But those were troubled times...

Ok, maybe that wasn't a real childhood memory, but since I found out that I'm lactose intolerant, I've been having to make up a lifetime of background stories as to how I've had to cope with such a serious illness. I may have told you this already, but when I got back from Japan, I found that the milk, which I once drank by the Swedish gallon, now makes my stomach angry.

Unfortunately, the same rang true for other milk products. This included caffè latte and ice cream, explaining why I had started feeling sick everyday in Japan. From what I can see, the only really safe dairy product for me is yogurt, which I consume every morning with granola and honey. What a breakfast! (Sorry, one of my students asked me today about the meaning of "What a ...!" and I'm trying to pretend we actually use this in English).

So, I'm lactose intolerant. Canadian society has been less than eager to cater towards this disability. The coffee shop in the mall below which I used to teach, for example, would not make their drinks with lactose-free milk. "We have soy milk," they would unhelpfully suggest everyday. And soy milk tastes like clay, for those of you who haven't had the pleasure.

Even less helpful in this matter has been the Children's Wish Foundation. They assert that lactose-intolerance is not life-threatening enough and that I'm not really a child, so I'm going to have to go elsewhere to get my date with Whoopi Goldberg. I just don't think that they should turn down a disabled boy like that and am seeking legal representation.

No, when it comes down to these types of "untouchable" diseases, one can only count on friends who really know how one feels. Tonight, Kelsey and I made lactose-free chocolate milkshakes.

Delicious.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

2007-02-12T14:15:00.000+09:00

I can't wait for winter to be over; this weekend was too cold.

In early January, Halifax saw record-high temperatures. It was perfect jogging weather: no snow, no iciness, and exotic birds such as toucans. At the time, I was a little annoyed beacuse whiners were trying to pin the blame on one of our greatest allies against winter: Global Warming.

Time went by and the whiners got their wish: cold, cold, horrible temperatures. At least it's not me out there waiting for the bus everyday. The extreme coldness funny for the first day or two, then it got boring. Then terrible.

Nevertheless, I decided to walk downtown Friday night. A while back, I had heard that Halifax was going to play host to a Guiness World Record-breaking event. On February 9th, 2007, Halifax broke the world record for largest pub crawl ever. 3200 people pre-bought pub crawl t-shirts and split up into 19 drunken groups. This event obliterated the previous record of 2,237 people, set by bustling Australian megalopolis of "Maryborough" in June 2006.

Although I didn't find out about it in time to buy a t-shirt and participate (I doubt I would have actually done so anyway), I still wanted to be able to say that I partook. I'm a little lacking on the Guiness World Record front and it makes me feel like I'm not a man. So Friday evening I called everyone I knew to try to assemble my own small pub crawl force. Not surprisingly, nobody wanted to come. Eventually, I won over my friend Mike and a couple of my Japanese students and we were on our way.

There was almost no sign of the pub crawl. Until we arrived deep into the downtown core, the streets were deserted due to the post-apocalyptic temperatures. When we finally did get into a bar, we grabbed a table under the stairs and kept it until it was time to brave the cold again in order to hunt down pizza. On the way home, I saw two people standing on a street corner with what appeared to be pub crawl t-shirts. They looked like they weren't having fun.

And that's the story of the world's largest pub crawl.

Saturday was the eve of my friend Kelsey's birthday, so we scrambled to throw together a respectable Mardi Gras-themed party. We acquired a large number of beads, but other, more indecent party staples unfortunately fell through. I'm sure we'll find another occasion for strippers (perhaps a Chinese New Year party is in order afterall).

As the Mardi Gras party progressed, my voice started disappearing (not from yelling, rather from having a terrible cold). When I woke up this morning, it was completely gone. I've had really sore throats before and it was painful to talk, but I've never had a cold like this, during which my voice just disappeared. I have the sneaking suspicion that my voice is gone forever. What am I going to do? And how will this affect my dream of winning a Latin Grammy?

Well, tomorrow I go back to being a substitute ESL teacher and if my voice isn't better by then, I'll have to be creative for my lessons... summersaults, those new dance moves I've been dying to try out, maybe "tambourine-time"... I'll play it by ear and let you know.

Berta...

2007-02-06T13:47:00.000+09:00

Today I got my hair cut. I look like a mentally challenged Polish woman from the 1920s.

Instead of posting pictures, I've decided to go back to get it cut again tomorrow. I live a very flashy, fast-paced lifestyle.

ESL Students say the Darndest Things

2007-02-02T11:52:00.000+09:00

As difficult as it was getting used to teaching non-Japanese students, it certainly has added to class discussion.

Most of what I taught in Japan was conversational English. This doesn't mean conversation expressions ("How are you?", "I am fine.", etc.); it means that our lessons were taught in the manner that we were supposed to base the lessons around casual chatting.

"So, Seiko, what are your hobbies?"
"My hobby is sleeping."
"Do you like to do anything else?"
BLANK STARE (they don't understand the word 'else')
"Do you like to do another thing?"
"No, I am so tired always."
"Well, have you ever slept anywhere exciting?"
"No, only on my futon."
"Did you know that in Canada we think that futons are funny?"
BLANK STARE
"Have you ever been to Hawaii?"
"Yes. Four times."
"Do you sleep in a futon in Hawaii?"
"No, I sleep in hotel bed."
"Well... that's exciting! I hate my job!"

Anyway, you can imagine how interesting it is to try to make conversation in a nation full of people whose poor English skills are surpassed only by their inability to speak English. But to be fair to the people of Japan, some of them would surprise you with shocking stories (especially the elderly) and some were such a delight to teach that it didn't matter that they had nothing to talk about except "going to shopping" and that they like cats because they are "cuto".

Coming back to Canada, on the other hand, I have encountered many exciting class discussions. The Saudi Arabians, wow! They have something interesting to say no matter how boring the course material! For example, one day, the lesson was on animals.

Does anyone own a dog?
No one responds.

Did any of you own a dog in your home country?
Saudi Arabian : "Yes, I owned fifteen."

Wow! You must love dogs!
"No, they were not for being friends with. They were only for fighting."

Do you mean they were guard dogs?
"No."

So who did they fight, then?
"Other people's dogs!"

The conversation soon turned to pigs. The same Saudi Arabian guy got a disgusted look on his face. He pointed at the board where I had drawn a picture of a pig. "Teacher, do you eat that?"

"Yes, I like to eat bacon."

The disgust on his face continued to grow. "That is a dirty animal."

"Yes, but it's delicious!" I replied.

He had some insder information for me. "You know what those things eat?"

I didn't want to know, so I just smiled and nodded.

"They are dirty and disgusting and someone from my country would never eat that animal," he conculded.

"I think they are delicious too!" piped in a Taiwanese girl, causing an awkward silence. I don't really feel right arguing over trivial cultural differences with my students (during class time at least), so thank you, Republic of China.

By the end of the day, the conversation finally got to horses. And there was no shortage of horse stories. My favorite one:

"One day, I went riding on my horse and when I got home, there were five people with wooden bats. They were beating my family's other horses. I said 'Don't move!' And then I made my horse kick one of them. Then they left."

2007-01-27T12:20:00.000+09:00

I'm... I'm sorry.

A Day in the Life of Ryan : Prologue

2007-01-25T14:55:00.000+09:00

Due to exceptionally high demand, I'm going to try to get back to posting more regularly. Although I have a "Chinese Buffet" of topics to discuss, I have another idea of what I want to talk about.

Someone sent me a link tonight to the Student Profiles of Harvard Business School. I started reading the "A Day in the Life" sections and, believe it or not, these people are almost twice as boring as you'd expect.

Anyway, I think the world would rather hear about in a day in my life. I'm especially interested in learning more about this since I usually can't quite remember and am sometimes quite curious as to what goes on. I'm preparing a piece of paper as I type so that I can take detailed notes tomorrow. I'll report back to you tomorrow night with my findings, so you can just leave this webpage open and keep hitting refresh.

Worst Week Ever

2007-01-12T11:17:00.000+09:00

Trust me, you don't want to know...

Bone-chilling Tales from A.D. 2007

2007-01-02T09:36:00.000+09:00

Someone on the other side of the room was frantically spinning the radio dial, trying to find some sort of official countdown. All they could find was that New Year's melody that you hear in New Year-related movies. I glanced down at my cell phone and noticed that the year had likely already turned, so to avoid an anticlimactic segue to 2007, I started shouting out a countdown myself.

"TEN!! NINE...!!"

The vast majority of the room chimed in.

"...EIGHT!! SEVEN!! SIX...!!"

The slower individuals of the party caught onto the backwards-counting pattern and joined in.

"FIVE!! FOUR!! THREE!! TWO!! ONE!! HAPPPPPY NEW YEAR!!"

The party-goers jumped up and down, hugged one another and glances shot around the room from those of us who had not thought ahead about their New Year's kiss. I grabbed my friend who I had come to the party with and spilled my mojito down her shirt. The party-goers all started moving outside onto the balcony to watch the downtown fireworks showering low above the buildings. Unlike most others, I wasn't wearing any shoes, so I slipped off my socks and pushed my way through the crowd. The balcony was covered in ice and snow, but it was ok because my feet didn't have much feeling.

My mother woke me up this morning at 9:00am to tell me that she was going downtown. I don't think she likes seeing me get more than four consecutive hours of sleep so she often wakes me up to tell me inconsequential details about her daily routine. It was fine, though. I was already awake and stirring unhappily in my bed. You see, my stomach was angry with me. It wasn't taking kindly to last night's mix of wine, lobster, Ferrero Rochers, champagne, beer, Brie, spiced rum, Chicken McNuggets and, yes, mojitos. My stomach demanded water. I reluctantly declined, in favour of a warm bed.

A few hours later, I got up and pretended to forget about my New Year's commitment. For weeks I had been proudly telling everyone I talked to that I, Ryan Smith, was going to fulfill my age-old heptannual tradition and participate in the Polar Bear Swim.

Many Canadian cities have a New Year's Day tradition called the Polar Bear Swim. This does not entail swimming with dangerous bears, but rather swimming in the dangerously frigid waters of the North Atlantic while enjoying sub-zero temperatures.

My first encounter with this tradition was at the age of ten. On New Year's Eve, my father and brother bet me five dollars that I wouldn't have the guts to jump in the ocean the following morning. But the next day, I threw on my Jurassic Park t-shirt, made my way down to Point Pleasant Park, proved my family wrong, and made enough money to go see a moving picture later on (you see, things were cheaper in my day).

Seven years later, I was a very athletic and attractive seventeen year old and after my first party-all-night New Year's Eve, I was convinced to make my way down to the same oceanside park for a leisurely winter's dip. This time, I was joined by three friends and an acquaintance. We missed the YMCA shuttle bus that left at 8:00am and on our long foot journey, I remember being approached by a soup kitchen director who wanted to know if we'd like a delicious free breakfast. I guess that's how hideous we looked at the time, they thought we were poor people. Somehow we made it down there, charged into the bone-chilling waters and made it back home alive healthy enough to brag about it.

Then, a lot of time passed with not too much happening. Before I knew it, I was a young man of 24. Seven years had passed and it was that time again. For weeks before New Year's I boasted to my friends, my family, my students, anyone who would listen, about how I was going to brave the waters of the North Atlantic to baptise myself into the new year.

But now it was New Year's Day and I... I didn't feel like it. I sat in my basement, afraid to go upstairs and start the day. 2:00pm hit and I realized my time was getting short. I attempted to call a friend who had agreed to join me in the adventure. He didn't answer. Apparently, I wasn't the only one getting cold feet (so to speak). Anyway, I sat back in my comfortable leather chair and evaluated the situation.

I could stay home. I could not do the Polar Bear Swim. Even better, I could tell everyone that I did it when they asked, say that it was really quite cold and then quickly change the subject. No... This is a new year, I thought, and I should be starting things off with goal fulfillment, with taking initiative, with disproving my doubters and making them pay for their doubtful sins. If I had stayed home, sure, I could have been happy, I could have lived a comfortable life, grown old, started a family. But what would my grandchildren think of me? And the grandchildren of my grandchildren? Would they remember me as Glorious Ryan the Courageous? Maybe. But I couldn't be certain. "I'll do it," I said.

I called my mother at work and asked her to come pick me up to take me to the ocean. She didn't sound pleased, but she agreed. On her way, I came to another epiphany. Maybe this is a new year of making wise, intelligent choices. Maybe I really shouldn't strip down and jump in the cold, cold ocean. No. Quiet, I told my wily brain. I can save that excuse for 2014.

While I waited for my mother, I did jumping jacks in the basement, hoping I could get my heart rate high enough that I wouldn't feel the cold. When she arrived, my mother insisted that she bring some supplies from the garage... a life-jacket, some rope and a rake to fish me out of the water with. Ugh. I prayed that it wouldn't come down to me being fished out of the ocean with a rake and/or being saved by my 51 year old mother.

When my brother heard that I was planning on doing something stupid, he eagerly volunteered to come for the ride. As if he didn't learn his lesson in jealousy fourteen years ago to this day, when he lost an historical bet and saw proof of my magnificent bravery.

I insisted that I start jogging there and that they pick me up along the way. I sprinted down Connaught avenue until the car showed up and got whisked down to the edge of the Northwest Arm.

Before entering the water, I did some sprints up and down a nearby hill to try to get my "body heat" theory into action. On my way down to the beach, I noticed that my mother had amassed a small crowd with cameras. Determined, I grabbed a towel from the car, stripped down to my bathing suit, strapped on my sandals and made a dash for the water.

To be honest, the sharp coldness flushed my body with a sense of relief. When I got up to my thighs, I dove in until I was fully underwater, then tried to make a full 180 degree turn back to the coastline. I started to get up. And I fell back in the water. My mind was clouded with frostbite and my body couldn't sense the way back to the beach. I let myself focus for a second, then got up and made my way out.

I got back to the beach, much to the jealousy of my older brother who watched smugly from the car. He must have been really jealous of my bravery again. I wouldn't tell him that it wasn't nearly as cold as I'd been expecting. No, I'd put on my best freezing water face.

I didn't get changed on the car-ride home. Instead, I made my way straight to the shower to wash the sand off my legs and attempt to get my blood circulating again. My mouth tasted of the vilest, saltiest, most polluted Northwest Arm water. But I did it. 2007 has come and I have conquered day one. Yes, my devoted followers, it's going to be a good year.

December 27th, 2006

2006-12-27T14:52:00.000+09:00

It's December 27th and, just to warn you, I'm going to Cape Breton for two days so this blog might go a couple of days without me updating it. Just to warn you.

I'm going to visit my grandparents. Grand-pappy will take me hunting and we will catch many antelopes to bring home for Grand-mammy to cook. We will then dance in the sunset whilst enjoying Molotov cocktails. Typical stuff.

See you in a couple of days.

Iceland Visits

2006-12-22T13:04:00.000+09:00

I was just looking through my site's stats and noticed that I had a visitor from Iceland and I'm really honoured. There are only 300,000 of them, you know. And they speak their own language. Isn't that silly?

I may have already told you this, but I once met a man from Tuvalu on the Osaka subway. There are only 11,800 Tuvaluans in the world... that was approximately the number of people living on my block at the time. They also have their own language. The Tuvaluans do, not the people on my block. Although that would have been cool. I have to get to bed.

SURPRISE LUAU!!

2006-12-18T13:04:00.000+09:00

My friends threw me a Hawaiian-themed surprise birthday party last night! I'd been trying to piece together clues all week as to what was going down. But in the end, I was both delighted and... surprised!

Twenty-Four

2006-12-16T18:08:00.000+09:00

It's my birthday! Jealous?

Here are a few pictures to celebrate:

My Autumn House : when I first arrived home.

My Winter House : something like a week later.

So many Christmas Trees to cut down!

Eating a gingerbread house.

On my birthday with ice cream cake. I have an eating disorder.

Life in the Old Country

2006-12-12T23:08:00.000+09:00

So sorry ar, I wrote this entry earlier this week but forgot to post it...

It's now been a month since I've been home and I guess I should update before I start doing new things and the thought of updating becomes daunting.

The flight feels like yeeeaaarrrssss ago, but from what I can recall, it was long, exhausting, and I started to go a little crazy by the end of it. On the final two-hour flight from Toronto to Halifax, I had been awake for upwards of 50 hours straight. In the past, people have told me stories of flying back to Halifax from Toronto or Montreal and the weather conditions being so bad that the plane had to turn around and go back. My plan for if this happened was to hijack the plane and make them land.

I sat next to a man and a woman on that flight who were documentary-makers. They offered to buy me an alcoholic drink. I think they thought I had already been drinking (too much air travel makes you start to go crazy). I asked them to help me do a cryptic crossword puzzle and remember blatantly made up all of the answers that I didn't know. When we got to the airport, my brother was late to pick me up and they offered me a ride into town. They were there to make a documentary on microcredit.

Strangely enough, on my first weekend home, Halifax, Nova Scotia, hosted the world conference on microcredit. Funnier yet, no one talked about it. This was an international conference featuring a recent Nobel prize-winner from Bangladesh. It was discussed on the news worldwide. In Halifax, I picked up a newspaper on the day of the conference and the main article on the front page read something like "Digby Man gets Lost in the Woods" and had a picture of a crying woman... That's all people want to read about here, and maybe that's ok.

Although the pace of life here is slow, the weather moves extraordinarily fast and makes it feel like time is flying by. I arrived in the depths of the chilly autumn nights, saw the leaves turn colours, fall out of the trees and disappear. I saw the weather continue to get colder, freezing rain turn into snow and the city turn white. I saw ice cover the roads, and cars and busses that didn't have their snowtires on crash into each other. Then, I saw it warm up again, saw the snow melt away, and I could once again go jogging without mittens. And that was all just in the first couple of weeks.

So, I spent my first month here unemployed. After a few months of seven-day workweeks in Japan, I was happy to take some time to relax. Everyday, my routine went like so:
-Get woken up by my mother at 8:30am.
-Go jogging.
-Eat fresh fruit, granola, yogurt and honey for breakfast.
-Make my way downtown to get some coffee (Starbucks opened here while I was gone, though I'm already sick of it from Japan).
-Eat more delicious Canadian food.
-Study for a few hours.
-Eat more food.
-Join my family for supper.
-Eat dessert.
-Meet some friends for socializing.
-Check my e-mail.
-Go to sleep.
Then it started all over again. It was great. I have since joined the gym and am trying to cut down on the eating, but it's tough. Canadian food is just so delicious... Have I ever told you about cookies?

But that was November. Now that we've gotten into December, life has changed. The week before last, I started going for job interviews. I was offered the first one I went to and accepted. On Monday, I started my new career as... an English teacher! I think it's a great career change. Actually, things are quite different from Japan. I teach the same seven students everyday. Wait, I'm going to start a new paragraph about this.

I have seven students: three Koreans, three Mexicans and one Saudi Arabian girl. As it turns out, Koreans are the same as Japanese people, so I had nothing to worry about with them. They kept asking me if I'd tried different kinds of Korean food and the answer was always no. I laughed since it was the same thing Japanese people would do, but more ridiculous because no one eats Korean food. My only problem with them is that I can't pronounce or remember their names. Oh, and I also don't like their names.

I was a little bit scared of the Saudi Arabian girl for two reasons. First of all, she was wearing a burqa, the kind for which you can only see her eyes and the bridge of her nose. Secondly, they warned me that I have to avoid partnering her up with the three male students, that I have to avoid inappropriate subjects around her, and that I have to avoid any close contact with her whatsoever (because of my gender). After teaching her, though, she was pretty good. She participated in class and I think I may have even sensed a smile out of her (though I can't confirm without peeking into her burqa).

So the Koreans and the Saudi Arabian were fine. But who were the trouble-makers? You guessed it, the Mexican girls. Mexicans. They spoke in Spanish to each other and heckled throughout class, even though there are only seven people there. Sometimes it was funny, but with all the other serious students in class, it was just inappropriate. They were each instructed to ask me one question. The good students asked me about things like my age, where I was born, etc. One of the Mexican girls, for her question, shouted out "Erica wants to know what is your phone number!" as the other girl smacked her in the stomach. Haha, so spirited. All in all, I think I'm going to have a lot of fun with this kind of diversity.

December, as I told you last year, is the most exciting month of the year. It involves the coming of winter, New Years Eve, my birthday, Christmas, and, even better, the coming of Christmas. This past weekend the Christmas festivities started off when my mother, brother and I drove out to the countryside to cut down a Christmas tree. We may have cut down nature's most elegant pine. Not really, but it's fine. Later that day, I went to a friend's house to keep up a five-year-old tradition of building gingerbread houses. We cover gingerbread with icing, plaster it with candy, eat too much sugar, listen to Christmas music and drink hot apple cider. I usually pass out on the couch by the end of the evening. The design gets more elaborate each year and this year we pushed for the house to be surrounded by a "graham cracker village", including a graham cracker pet shop and a graham cracker skyscraper of three stories called "Christmas Towers". What a town.

This Saturday I turn 24. As a friend of mine pointed out on her blog, this heaves me into my unsettling, yet respectable, mid-twenties. Uh oh, my biological clock is ticking. Should I start having children?

Finally, I convinced my family, this year, to celebrate Hanukkah. Hanukkah is an age-old tradition, I'm told, that is celebrated by... Jewish people? Anyway, it goes for something like eight or nine days and starts on Friday the 15th. My family doesn't seem very excited about it yet, but they haven't received their yarmakas yet. I hear Santa may be shopping for a special dreidel for a special brother of mine this week.

Well, it's 11am and I have to get up to go to work. You will hear from me once more for my Japan Summary post. It might be a while, but continue what you've been doing and keep checking in numerous times per day.

Ryan

On the Road Again

2006-11-10T17:18:00.000+09:00

I'm at Kansai International Airport, waiting for my flight. I'm so, so tired. I had to leave a lot of things behind because they wouldn't fit into my bag, but no matter, my roommates will scavenge most of it. My landlord avoided my calls for the past couple of days so I didn't get my deposit back. My old landlord, who also owed me a bit of money, also avoided my calls. My Japanese bank, UFJ, declined my request for a bank card that works internationally, so I will have a small pile of yen that will be trapped in Japan forever. Oh, and I forgot Kelsey's kimono in the taxi. Sorry Kelsey... after all that hype.

Otherwise, things summed up rather nicely. There were a few people I would have liked to have seen before I left that I didn't, but otherwise, no regrets for leaving. My main employer, Berlitz, has informed me that I could come back to work for them anytime in the future. It's nice to know because I don't think anyone's ever told me that before. Oh, and Starbucks here at the airport just made me a Mint Chocolate Mocha Frappucino, try it. Well, my flight started boarding two minutes ago... I have terrible time management skills (I arrived at the airport four hours early) so I had better go there now or else I'll probably miss my flight. See you on the other side,

Ryan

Kansai Airport

Packing

2006-11-10T03:58:00.000+09:00

I'm so sleepy... I've been packing for hours.. My bags weigh more than... than... Martha Stewart. I'm going to bed. I might talk to you tomorrow before I leave. If not, I'll try to write my Japan Summary on the plane. And what a summary it will be!! Check back for updates constantly.

Sennichimae - Around the corner from my house and where I'll be catching a cab tomorrow afternoon!!! Jealous?

My Fans

2006-11-09T20:11:00.000+09:00

There wasn't really one thing left for me to do, that was just a hook to get you back here. Despite the fact that nobody comments anymore, my blog's ratings are going through the roof. I think the readers are getting excited for the highly-anticipated finale. I follow my statistics religiously, though it only identifies the location of the last twenty people to have viewed my website. I like to make up characters for the the visitors that I don't know personally...

There's Portuguese Pablo. He works on an orange plantation and is completely obsessed with me. There's Winnepeg Wendy. She goes to the University of Manitoba and is completely obsessed with me. Yes, they're an interesting group of people, my fans.

Finding a Good Apartment

2006-11-08T23:54:00.000+09:00

Oooh, I guess you're waiting for today's update. Ok, here goes.

Today I woke up at 11:30am as someone was pounding on my door. "Yes?" I asked drearily.

Without responding, the knocker burst into my bedroom. "Ryan, it's Dominic. I'm here to collect this month's rent."

"I... I... told you. I'm moving out tomorrow." I replied.

"...Oh..." He seemed to not remember this, but I get the impression that this type of situation comes up frequently with him, so I didn't elaborate. He said, "Well, give me a call tomorrow afternoon and we'll get you sorted."

I have the most laid-back landlord in all of the land. He's British, owns a great number of gaijin-filled apartments around Osaka and everyone seems to love his relaxed nature. It's great to get apartments with foreign landlords; Japanese landlords are terribly sintgy. Even worse, most landlords in Japan are Japanese. Let me tell you a little bit about the landlord-tenant relationship in Japan.

When moving into a new apartment, it is customary in Japan to give your landlord a present of a few thousand dollars to thank them for letting you live in their building. Unlike most presents, though, this is not optional, and landlords will state exactly how many thousands of dollars they wish you to pay (bribe?) them to secure the apartment.

Next, on top of the montly rent, they will likely also tie in a vareity of hidden mandatory fees. Cleaning fees. Fire insurance. Something vague and undescriptive like Non-Refundable Deposit. And when they say unfurnished, they really mean it. No light fixtures, probably no fridge, definitely no bed. And you would have as much chance of finding an oven, dishwasher or clothes-dryer as you would finding a robot servant (which happens less than one would think in Japan).

When looking for my current apartment, I was considering one with a Japanese landlord. I backed out when he told me that if I decided to leave before the ending of my 12-month lease and didn't have a friend to replace me, I would have to pay for the remainder of the year's rent upfront. A little ridiculous for an English teacher, since statistically, we stay in Japan for an average of seven months. There was little to no chance of me sticking around for another twelve.

So, I was relieved to find my current place. Actually, when finding it, it seemed almost perfect. It was around August 18th and I had booked myself in to work every day for the rest of the month. It was my last possible day to find somewhere to live. I had talked to this landlord the night before and he had told me to come by at 12:00 to come see the place. I got to the exit where he said to me wasn't there, so I called him and he told me that he had forgotten and would be by in an hour.

While I waited, I went to get something to eat and explore the neighbourhood. The neighbourhood is called Nippombashi (it means Japan Bridge) and is known for two types of Japanese men that frequent the area: the otaku and the yakuza.

"Otaku" is the Japanese equivalent of "nerd". Japanese nerds like the following things: electronics, manga (Japanese comics) and trains. Oh, how they love trains. Their love for manga has manifested into a sub-culture of maid cafes. Maid cafes are specials cafes where the waitresses are dressed like your favorite manga characters. One of my otaku students told me that, aside from being served by them, you can also pay the maids to cut your hair. But all of the otaku spots are concentrated in Den-Den Town, the electronics district on the other side of Nippombashi. My district is run by the yakuza.

The yakuza are the Japanese mafia. They are as integral to Osaka as the Triads to Hong Kong and the KGB to Moscow, but the government has cracked down on them drastically in recent years. Unlike other countries' gangs, though, the yakuza seem only about as threatening as a regular person in North America is. They're known for being covered in tattoos and cutting off their pinky fingers to prove how tough they are, but I live on the same street as a big yakuza base and all I see is stupid-looking men in bad suits washing luxury cars. I pass groups of them everyday and they've never once said anything to me. In fact, they sometimes even look down to the ground when I make eye-contact with them.

Anyway, the fact that they're here is probably the only reason why my roommates and I have been able to get such a big place. Back to my story...

The landlord met me and took me up to the 5th floor of my building. He took me on a whirlwind tour (done in about ten seconds). I tried to stall and think of questions to ask, and the answer was right for all of them. The lease was month-to-month, he would let me split my damage deposit between the first and second months, the big-screen TV had cable with some English channels, my room had access to a balcony and there was some sort of toaster-oven that I could use to make pizza toast. Oh, and the big selling point: my room came with a double bed. Keep in mind that I'd been sleeping on the floor for the past month. I told him I'd think about it and would let him know by that night, but I had already made up my mind.

The apartment came with three roommates who I wouldn't get the chance to meet until I moved in on September 1st, so that was a bit of a gamble. But I usually like everyone and always like gambling, so I was not concerned. Yes, there was just one thing left to do.

To be continued. Soon. I'm going to do some packing first.

The Street:

The Building:

The Living Room:

The Last Monday

2006-11-07T03:45:00.000+09:00

No one had raised the ante, so my 5-2 off-suit limped its way to the flop. The flop came down 5-2-2. "Check." I remarked, casually, containing my realization that I'd probably just won the game. "100" bet Calgary Joe as he pushed two blue chips into the pot. "Call" answered Adam. Lito folded. Wow. I had flopped a full house and had two big betters. "All in" I announced and, as expected, they both called. It was great. I was all in and could just sit back, let them build up their meagre side-pot, then, slam my cards on the table, triple up my chips, and coast comfortably into a commanding chip lead.

...Then came the turn. I saw Adam's eyes light up as the 9 of spades hit the table and watched his hand jerk towards his chips as he obviously hit the jackpot. He called Joe all in. Shit. I dealt the river, the 6 of diamonds, then we all flipped. Sure enough, Adam flipped over his 9-2 pocket and thus ended my final hand of my final Osaka Poker Night. I leaned back in my chair, downed my beer, and watched as Adam greedily raked back his newfound fortune.

But I'll get back to poker later.

This morning I woke up at... wait. This afternoon, I woke up at 1:30pm to the sound of a woman who had apparently just entered the apartment. "Hello?" she asked. I got up and stumbled to put on pants. "Hello? Is anybody here?"

"Hey! Yeah, I'll be right out!" I shouted. No answer. I burst out of my room to find Kenny, roommate #5, watching a movie in the living room.

"Was there a woman at the door?" I asked.

"No, that was the movie. I'm watching Ju-On (The Grudge)" he remarked, as Sarah Michelle-Gellar sauntered across the screen.

Ugh. He had caught me conversing with the TV again. This happens a lot. I'm like one of those dogs who can't tell the difference between the real doorbell and the doorbell on TV and goes barking and running everytime someone visits a house on Dawson's Creek.

I had a shower, grabbed my notebook and went off to Dotour for my morning bagel sandwich and cafe latte. I stopped at Family Mart on the way to buy a Muji pen and a copy of the Daily Yomiuri. Oh, Sadam Hussein's been sentenced to death, the Taiwanese press has demanded the president resign, Nicaragua's Ortega is looking good in terms of re-election and global warming may be opening up a shipping lane for Canada's Northwest Passage. I love newspapers abroad, so international. I'm catching up on international news here everyday, getting in as much as I can before I go back to the land of headlines such as "Truro Seniors Lobby Against Healthcare Reforms".

Last time I went back to Nova Scotia, I opened the Sunday Daily News to the World page. Apparently, not much had gone on outside of Nova Scotia in the past day, as the World page was split with National. One of the two foreign-related articles involved a New Hamshire cat that had gone crazy and was attacking people. Those poor Americans, they had enough problems with the whole September 11th thing, didn't they?

Back to my day, I walked around, window-shopped for notebooks and cheap clothes, and came back home. Then a couple of hours are missing that I can't remember, but I made it on time to Umeda for my first lesson, 7pm. I taught a delightful man named Toku who dreams of one day going to Canada to fish salmon. After two lessons with him, I came out to the lobby of my school. One of the Japanese staff-members, on my second-last day, was finally putting my picture and profile up on the wall. Excellent. There are still teachers up there who left a year ago, so hopefully my legacy will live on.

Next, I rushed home to change since I would be heading back up north for a private student and poker night. I changed into a new shirt that a wonderful Japanese friend gave me last night at my Sayonara Party and rushed back to the subway station. I text-messaged my student to let him know that I was running ten minutes late. It's interesting... because of the efficient train system, I can forecast exactly how late I'll be be very accurately.

I sat down at Mos Burger for my final private lesson with Kaz. It was very sad, he was one of my prize pupils and this was my last private lesson in Japan. He gave me a Japanese card game and an accompanying book as a sayonara present. They like to give presents, these Japanese. About 15 minutes into the lesson, a Canadian co-worker of mine showed up. I was giving this private student to him. I really like three of my private students (actually, the three who pay me the least per hour) and I want to make sure they're well taken care of after I'm gone.

Next I went to the grocery store to buy melon. While waiting for Lito to pay for his chips, I made a new friend named Akihiro (below).

Next, you know how the poker night ends up. Yes, catastrophic. But things ended happily. I said my goodbyes and managed to borrow a bike to get home. I stopped off for some late-night sushi along the way and took a leisurely ride to the south. When necessary, I ducked onto sidestreets to avoid the police. An exciting life on the run! It's illegal to ride someone else's bike here and the police "randomly" stop people (foreigners) at night-time to check the registration. We need to be kept on our toes or else we will go wild.

Sayonara Japan

2006-11-06T18:01:00.000+09:00

The Sayonara Party was an unexpected success. By unexpected, I mean that it was not at all how I imagined. Yes, I guess that would be the dictionary definition of unexpected, but I'm too tired to elaborate. Anyway, I was kept entertained for the entire four hours and had some last moments with a lot of great people who I might never see again. In the heat of the moment, I managed to commit myself to seeing many of them later this week... giving a final goodbye is always hard, so making tentative, unrealistic future plans always seems to ease the process. In another bout of getting caught up in the moment, I bought a lot more goodbye drinks than I drank, but every one was worth it.

Although the sayonara party's over, I still have a lot of exciting milestones left to cross. Today, for example, I have my last private student and last poker night. Tomorrow is my last work shift. Wednesday is my last... Wednesday. Anyway, things are summing up and I really need to start planning out my packing and shipping, but for now...

..Sayonara, Japan.

Sayonara Party Desuyo

2006-11-05T15:08:00.000+09:00

Tonight is my Sayonara Party. Despite the fact that I'm meeting some people before hand, I'm still really scared that nobody is going to show up. Even more so, I'm scared that only one or two people are going to show up and are going to see that nobody showed up and leave immediately. I wish I offered a financial incentive for coming in the invitation.

Sayonara Party
Umeda
7:30-11:30pm
Pie & Punch

Saturday in Osaka

2006-11-04T20:34:00.000+09:00

And this will be the extent of today's post.

So Tired

2006-11-03T21:29:00.000+09:00

So tired.

A Holiday in Nagoya

2006-11-02T11:56:00.000+09:00

My phone rang around 10:30pm Wednesday night. It was Michitaka. He wanted to know what time I was boarding the train the next day so he could pick me up at Nagoya station.

"Well..." I hesitated as I calculated how long it would take me the following day to pack, go to the bank, eat a sandwich, buy headphones and make it to the train station. "1pm." I decided.

I awoke the following afternoon at 1:36pm and called Michi to apologize and reschedule my departure estimate. I showered, packed, and made a break for the train. It was nearing 3pm and I'd been trying to make it to Citibank all week to cash my salary cheque. Banks in Japan, you see, close at an inconvenient 3pm. No exceptions. I don't know much of what goes on in the morning, but I get the impression that they're only open a few hours per day and spend the rest of the time counting their piles of money and watching the video footage of me outside, banging on the doors with a disappointed expression on my face.

The past two days I had made it to the bank between 3:00 and 3:10pm. The same woman greeted me through the glass door with an apologetic expression on her face, motioning to the sign that clearly explains, in English, that they close at 3pm. On Wednesday, thinking that I didn't understand, she brought me out a brochure explaining, in English, that banks in Japan close at 3pm. No exceptions.

So, today, my train pulled into Umeda station at about 3:00pm and I bolted for the bank. The elevator was waiting for me as I proceeded to CityBank's 7th floor entrance. Again, the same apologetic woman greeted me from behind the locked glass doors. She made that international facial expression of pity given to someone you've witnessed fail at something time and time again. But this time, however, I was ready with a lie.

I sadly told her, in broken Japanese, that I teach at an Elementary school everyday until 2:30pm and run to the bank but can never seem make it. Yes, blame the Japanese children, but don't ask for any favors... just tell your sad story. That's how things work here. And my story checked out - I arrive at roughly the same time everyday and had obviously been running.

She looked genuinely concerned for me and asked me to wait a minute. A minute turned into six, but soon enough, the security guard accompanied her to the door as they let me in, ushered me to the counters and cashed my enormous salary cheque.

Ryan - 1, Incovenient Japanese Bureaucracy - many, many, many more.

I got another call from Michi around 3:30pm asking if I'd left yet. The blaring upbeat music in the background made it obvious that I hadn't. My headphones had stopped working on my jog the night before and I had to buy some cheap replacements at Osaka's biggest electronics department store.

Yodobashi Camera absolutely obliterates Future Shop when it comes to electronic shopping. It's floor after floor of endless gadgets and accessories under bright lights, blaring music and enthusiastic announcements in various languages. And somehow, every last corner of its eight or so floors is packed full of busy consumers with that spend-spend-spend attitude typical of Japanese department stores. This place must pull in billions upon billions of yen.

But what I like about Yodobashi Camera is the tourists. It's the only place in Osaka, other than the airport, where you're guaranteed to find non-Japanese people with luggage. I've never checked to see what's there in the guidebooks, but it must be listed as the top thing to see in Osaka because every time you go, you encounter old wide-eyed overweight foreigners, clutching their bags and waddling towards the exits as they attempt to process the chaos going on around them.

After the successful purchase of my headphones, I made my way to Shinosaka station to catch the shinkansen (Japanese bullet train). The shinkansen, the world's first high-speed train, hurls passengers across Japan's Honshu island at speeds of over 300 kilometers per hour. A journey that once took days, such as Osaka to Tokyo, is now condensed into under 2.5 hours.

My destination, today, was Nagoya, Japan's fourth-biggest city and home to the global automobile conglomerate, Toyota. I was going to visit my former Japanese teacher and his wife who had recently returned to Japan from a two-year hiatus in sleepy Halifax.

Nagoya, by shinkansen, is barely an hour away. The time, along with the scenery, flew by. Watching out the window is nice, but the train goes so fast that it mostly just looks like this:

It was early in the evening by the time I arrived in Nagoya. I was greeted at the station by Michitaka and Toyoko.

Michi and Toyoko are extremely pleasant individuals that I had the opportunity to get to know last year in Halifax. I used to meet Michi weekly for a Japanese/English language exchange and business discussion. I still keep in contact with them and we met up again when I visited Canada in the summer. Their English had skyrocketed! They told me that they would be moving back to Nagoya in the fall and I made a promise to come visit them before I leave Japan.

As I mentioned earlier, Nagoya is the fourth-largest city in Japan and is the heart of the Toyota Motor Corporation. Actually, the city lives off of Toyota. In Toyota City, one of Nagoya's suburbs, I'm told that it's difficult to find someone who is not directly employed by the company. Have you ever wondered where all that money is going from the purchases of Tercels and Tauruses? Well, the answer is Gucci shops and Louis Vuitton bags sporting small dogs. And, as I soon found out, streets so clean you could eat off of them.

Michi and Toyoko brought me high up into a building where the city sights were inspiring. Japanese cities, even dirty Osaka, look so efficient and functional from high places. Traffic moves smoothly and there are lights and neon signs as far as the eye can see.

As I had previously informed them of my love for katsudon (a Japanese pork & rice dish), Michi took me to a restaurant famous for its miso-flavored katsudon (yes, that's miso as in miso soup - it's a flavor here). The restaurant's logo was of a giant, obese pig whose flab was bursting out of his clothes. This one would certainly discourage self-conscious eaters in the old country, but it's fine for Japan. The restaurant had some kind of grinded sesame powder that made the meal more delicious than one would guess from my expression in the below picture.

Before dinner, Toyoko left to meet her friends to go watch stand-up comedy (?) but we were going to meet up with her again later. Michi took me on a tour of Nagoya's bar and restaurant centre and to an izakaya called Yamachan (below). Yamachan had delicious wings, of a spice mix that I had never before tasted.

We drank beer, discussed the English-teaching and various business plans. Michi is getting ready to open his own English school in Nagoya and I'm really excited about it. He offered me a teaching job for down-the-road, and although I'd like to, teaching in Japan is kind of over for me. We made a few business deals and planned out some future joint Canada-Japan ventures that are surely going to make us both very wealthy. Eventually, Toyoko and her friend Tomoko showed up and joined us for some drinks. The alcohol threw me into high-confidence Japanese language mode and we carried on conversation for the rest of the night in only Japanese. I think they should serve beer in language schools. Oh, and dancing establishments.

After getting back to their apartment, snacking and socializing for an hour or so, the Japanese went off to bed a little after midnight. Ryan, on a very different sleep schedule, stayed up to update his blog. It's unsure whether he's going to be able to get to sleep tonight, but he should hope so, as he's been informed that he will be woken up very early to go to a famous Nagoya coffee shop. Ryan briefly tried to reflect on the last time he'd woken up in the morning. He couldn't remember. But hey, live a little... we're only in Japan once, aren't we?

My August Apartment

2006-11-01T18:24:00.000+09:00

I said something yesterday about wanting to post daily until I leave, and I'm going to try to stick through with that. To be honest, I really don't feel like writing right now, but if I don't post today, then I won't post tomorrow, so I'm going to face the challenge and just write something.

You've missed out on the past four or five months of my life, so I'll try to give you a quick summary. Actually, I'm having trouble remembering. To make this easier, let's just focus on my apartment situation starting from the end of July when I got back to Japan.

In July, I landed in Osaka and was happy to be back. The air was hot and felt like the sauna of a Filipino sweatshop. Drunk businessmen were passed out on the streets, as others were being carried into cabs or having their backs patted as they vomitted into gutters. Yes, just the way I was told summer in Osaka would be.

I spent the first few days living on the floor of a Japanese friend's one-room apartment. I hate sleeping in the same room as other people - I have a ninja-like sense of the people around me, so if anyone's within sight, I can't relax. Despite this, I was happy to accept his generous offer of accomodations since I was on a new campaign of financial frugality for phase two of Japan (after having so carelessly wasted away all my money in phase one).

So, I set off on a search for a one-bedroom apartment. After a few horrendous options (one including a shared, coin-operated shower), I ended up settling with a clean, *newly-renovated* one-room apartment in Shinosaka. The Australian landlord assured me that everything was fresh and new and I reluctantly signed the steep $660 monthly lease. Actually, including deposits, I spent over $1500 of the $1700 I had in the bank on my first day in that new apartment. This was a big, big mistake.

The apartment didn't turn out to be so flawless. The air conditioning didn't work properly (NOT GOOD FOR AN ASIAN SUMMER), neither did the hot water, the drain in the bathtub, the electric stove, or the microwave. And the washing machine leaked all over the balcony. Despite the room being "furnished", it had no bed, so I slept on a comforter laid-out on the hardwood floor. And since the air conditioner didn't work, Japan's summer unbearability forced me to take cold showers at night and sleep completely naked to avoid the nightly risk of death.

Furthermore, the building manager (and other tenants) didn't like me. As the only foreigner in the building, I shook things up on my first night when I tried to hook up the overhanging lamp and inadvertently set off the building's fire alarm. Out of embarassment, I tried to hide in my room to pretend it wasn't me, but somehow, they figured it out and showed up at my door. They couldn't speak any English, so it was a rough conversation full of wild hand gestures, bowing and angry glares.

I lived directly across the street from a hospital, so in the middle of the night, a barrage of ambulence sirens would start wailing and I would wake up in a confused, naked state, covered in sweat and searching for my bottle of water. And picture this: living alone, no TV, no internet, no money. After two weeks, I could no longer afford the daily newspaper. Yes yes, life was terrible. I was determined to move out by the end of August.

To be continued...

Ten Days

2006-10-31T06:39:00.000+09:00

I only have ten days left in Japan. Maybe I'll update my blog everyday!!!

Have a frightful Halloween, from all of us at the Ryan in Osaka blog.

2006-10-25T05:18:00.000+09:00

Hot Pepper Model

2006-10-13T17:19:00.000+09:00

I entered the staff lounge yesterday, eating Andes Mint Chocolates that I bought at an international food store.

"Hey Ryan," a co-worker said to me as I entered. "Is this a picture of you in a Hot Pepper ad?" Hot Pepper is a monthly local publication that has ads and coupons for all kinds of services, including English schools.

"No."

"Are you sure? Look at this picture."

I took a look.

"No, Jake, that's a Japanese woman."

"No, next to her..."

I looked again.

"Oh yeah, hmm... I guess that is me..."

"What are you doing in an ad for a school that you don't work for?"

I stopped to think. That was a good question. I recognized the student I was teaching. Why couldn't I remember this photo being taken? The picture doesn't look like it was taken from across the room. And how could a company that I don't work for publish me in their advertising without even notifying me? (let alone paying me) My head started to hurt.

"To be honest, Jake," I replied. "A lot of things happen in this country that I don't understand."

I went back to eating my Andes Mint Chocolates.

Forty Days: Kanada ni kaerimasu.

2006-10-01T19:25:00.000+09:00

Everyday, someone asks me how long I've been in Japan. "About a year," I reply. Sugoi!/Wow! they exclaim - either they think that's a really short or really long time. Actually, I think they just pretend to be surprised because there aren't many other reactions you could have when someone tells you they've been living in Japan for a year.

I don't feel like this year has flown by. Coming to Japan feels like ages ago and this whole era of my life has felt like just that: an entire era. Interestingly enough, my mind has adapted to Japan being 'home' and going back to visit Canada this summer felt like an exotic adventure. I sometimes daydream about what life's going to be like in Canada... giant waterfalls, maple syrup, snowshoes year-round, many natures, "aurora"... or at least that's what my students are telling me.

But yeah, as I was saying, Japan now feels like home. Not the good kind of home where you get to relax in front of the fireplace with your dog and eat cookies that your mother made, but the bad kind of home where you recognize the dirty faces of the homeless people and have to eat at McDonald's everyday to make sure you get your nutrition. And where the police show up at your work to shake things up and let us foreigners know that "they're watching us".

Anyway, as you may have wildly guessed, I'm moving back to Canada in November. I first came here on a one-year open return ticket, which expires on November 11th. Originally, I had planned on just foregoing this ticket, but some recent reassessments of my life have given me a change of heart.

So, those of you back in Halifax can expect me home in time for Remembrance Day. I don't want to wear a poppy, but we can celebrate the holiday by watching the following war movies: Saving Private Ryan, Mash, Apocalypse Now and Starship Troopers. See you soon. Peace out. One love. Latino forever.

Getting out of a Sticky Situation

2006-09-23T02:18:00.000+09:00

Ok, I'm gonna level with you. That monstrosity of an update that I've been prophetizing is not going to happen. I just thought I should get that out there so I can stop procrastinating, get on with the blog and leave my concerns about making a massive post behind me. Alright, I'm glad that's settled. Now I'm off to get some ice cream.

It's a boy!

2006-09-07T02:34:00.000+09:00

Congratulations to Japan's Princess Kiko (as I know you're reading this).

Today Japan is abuzz. Princess Kiko, who I usually hold in contempt due to her tainted commoner blood, has given Japan a breathing chance by giving birth to a male heir. Current emperor Akihito (shown below, looking not dissimilar to an evil ventriloquist's dummy) came out to announce the victory.

Japan, if you weren't aware, has endured a 40-year dry spell of no male heirs. This crisis has led to radicals lashing out by suggesting desperate measures, such as altering Japanese law to allow female emperors. Well, the people of Japan need not fear any longer: your savior is born and your empirical gender worries can be cast aside for another 80 or so years.

"Ryan, where have you been?"

I know you have a lot of questions. Where have I been? What happened to August? Why have you not posted? Who are you? What am I doing here? etc. --- Well, all your questions will be answered in time. For now, let me tell you that things have been tumultuous and earth-shattering. But now I really have to get to bed. Check back again for a big update soon.

Ryan

Back in Osaka

2006-07-21T17:48:00.000+09:00

After a night of packing, an hour of sleep, a 5:30am trip to the Halifax airport, the better part of a day in the Detroit departures terminal and a 14-hour long-haul flight while wedged between two rows of young, Asian children (they kicked, they screamed, they speculated about the wolves on the Disney in-flight feature...)

...I'm back in Osaka.

And Japan is zestful [just a note on that word: I opened up a thesaurus to try to find a word befitting how Japan feels and couldn't find one, but realized I've never used the word zestful and was scared I might never find the opportunity] -- So, we ask, if it's so zestful, then why did I ever leave? Well, I'll get to that in an upcoming monstrosity of an update. But right now, I have an apartment to find and some sushi to be prepared for me in an efficient, polite manner.

Special Update: Ryan in Halifax

2006-06-23T03:44:00.000+09:00

Ok, so I've safely arrived back in Canada. I... I can't update right now because I'm on a laptop (laptops make me tired) so I'll fill you in on all the details later.

Any of you in Halifax, please contact me.

-Ryan

My Last Days at Nova

2006-06-15T00:30:00.000+09:00

OSAKA - With only two working days left and only five days left before Canada, Ryan is preparing for his long journey home. As his last week at Nova has progressed, Ryan has openly announced the fact that he has quit to every class he has taught. The conversation generally goes as so:

"Hello, my name, of course, is Ryan. I come from Canada! I am going back to Canada next Tuesday!"
[students stare blankly - one of them possibly claps in confusion]
"I quit Nova. Friday is my last day here!"
[Students start to catch on, some gasp and others whisper amongst themselves. I draw a sad face on the scrap paper in front of me and point to it. The students laugh but then affirm that they feel the same way.]

"You... you have quit?!" one asks, "But you will come back?"
"I'm coming back to Japan on July 20th," I reply. "But I am not coming back to Nova."
[blank stares]
"Osaka - yes. Nova - no." I say as I cross my hands to indicate an x.
[They give an "ahh so" expression of comprehension.]
"Another school??!" one asks inquisitively.
"No" I reply. "I want to start a business!"
"A business??" Their hats fly up in the air.
"Yes, a man-to-man (one-on-one) teaching agency."
"You???" they ask and point to me.
"Yes." I reply and point to myself as well (it's how things work here).
"I want to join and be your student!!" one exclaims. The others in the group quickly follow suit as I write out my e-mail address so they can contact me later.

I'm really going to miss these students. I work at a medium-sized school with only about 500 active students (students who have come within the past three months). Although that sounds like a lot, I only teach weekday evenings, which narrows it down to a small pool. This delightful bunch of mismatched characters have made my longest-running job ever (SEVEN MONTHS!) into the best job I've ever had.

Day after day I've had the opportunity to sit back and listen to them talk about their daily lives: their problems at home, their overly stressful jobs, their experiences abroad, the hopes for the future, trips to their hometowns, their opinions on pets and the delight they take in eating delicious cakes. I've been inspired by their determination and the fact that actual adults are taking time out of their busy lives (some of these people are getting only three hours sleep per night) to study English. They each have their own individual goals, but seem to be able to stick by them and watching them progress has been exceptionally rewarding.

Anyway, hopefully I can take a few of the most pleasant ones with me...

On the brighter side of things, this past weekend I was informed that I have been selected as a possible candidate for the scholarship for which I applied last month. This means that I'll have an interview and some Japanese testing in Toronto once I'm back. I can't wait... I've started trying to put my case together as to why I'm worthy. It's tough.

If you were wondering whatever happened to my poker legacy over the past couple of months, well, I was trying to hide the fact that I had become a failure. I lost four or five times straight to a brainiac pre-law guy from Illinois and his intense Australian roommate. Anyway, I'm back on top as I made my final clean sweep last night.

With World Cup Soccer in full-swing, Japan has been crushed with the loss of what was most likely the only game they had a chance at winning. My students have now started agreeing when I tell them how much I hate Australians.

Between soccer games, my newest roommate Jack and I have started our own training. Every night we've been going for long, exhausting jogs and it feels great... Actually, I just realized I'm late for tonight's jog. I'm going to leave you with an assortment of pictures from the past week since I probably won't have a chance to update before Canada.

Tuckered out on the train after a long day at work

My last days with the Nova Usagi

My last days with my Nova students' files

Supa Tomode - My neighbourhood discount grocery store (allegedly owned by the yakuza)

The Osaka Chamber of Commerce and Industry Building apparently has people rowing up it. I visited their Museum of Entrepreneurship and Innovation yesterday, it was great.

Would you pay $210 for a melon? What if it were the Best of Melon?

Clutter upon Dotonbori

This one is for Sean (who clearly has the fashion sense of a Japanese woman)

Yes, the Japanese have WANTED people too. And one of them has been to this station, it appears (bottom-right).

Have a great week, I'll update from Canada.

Reading Montenegro

2006-06-04T18:19:00.000+09:00

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
-Groucho Marx

I just finished reading another book. That's right. Me, reading. Possibilities are endless when your home has no access to the internet or English TV. And this one came much more quickly than the seven months it took me to read the first Lord of the Rings book... I finished this one, Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner, in under two weeks.

But how could you read a book that quickly? you're probably asking in wide-eyed astonishment. Well, it was interesting enough to keep me reading on the subway and at Bagel Bagel so it really wasn't my usual one-page-a-night read. The authors applied economic theories and statistical analysis to an assortment of topics and together we learned to mistrust real estate "experts", that sumo wrestlers bathe in filthy corruption and all about the corporate structure necessary to run a proper crack ring.

In summary, I used to find reading to be a huge waste of time, but the non-fiction genre has really baked the cake (sorry, I was in the mood to invent a new saying). Last week I went to the Osaka public library (I'm a member of a library!) which happens to have a decent English section and took out six non-fiction books. My bookshelves are finally being used for their intended purposes (rather than the maple syrup and wires that they have been historically holding).

Speaking of "non-fiction", I saw the movie the Da Vinci Code last night. It was a nice cross between ridiculous and exciting, but what really hit me was how much I'm going to miss being in Europe this summer. I hate Japan. No no, that's not true, but I have started to rethink what I should do with the rest of my life. Maybe I just need to watch Battle Royale again when I come home to remind me of why I'm here.

Usually, I end up getting specific channels of inspiration from movies that weren't intended by the film-makers, and the Da Vinci Code was no exception. I'm now considering a career in the efficient and secretive field of Swiss banking.

Speaking of work, at time of publication I'm down to ten working days left. That's forty hours of teaching time or fifty classes (yes, they're packed in there quite firmly). I have been coming up with brilliant schemes of how to go out with a bang, but will need to keep that secret until my last day has past (haha, I hope that gives the intended shroud of vagueness for my co-workers who I know are reading this - but please note, it will likely not end in violence).

This Friday brings us into the Fifa World Cup Soccer season. This is, by far, my favorite sporting event to follow (short of the elusive Rugby 7s). I love how Brazil, rarely talked about despite being in the world's top five countries for both population and land area, is somehow able to shine and defeat those uppity Europeans. Not to say that I want Brazil to win or anything. I'm going for Iran this year, actually.

Rather than pick a favorite team, I usually tend to pick a least favorite team. And this year, I'm determined to do whatever I can to ensure that England doesn't win. I live with two English roommates and it would be the best gift any God could give me to ensure that they lose every single game they play.

The other day, as I was sipping on my afternoon coffee and enjoying an afternoon BLT bagel sandwich at Bagel Bagel, I bit into something strange. A BLT sandwich should contain, as its acronymic name suggests, bacon, lettuce and tomato. What it didn't specify, though, was the lemon. There was a full sour lemon wedge lodged in there, complete with skin and seeds, hidden in the depths of my sandwich.

Now I'm not one to complain in Japanese-run restaurants, so I didn't. But as these types of occurences are very common, I always wonder whether my food's bizarre outcome was intended or just a coincidental mistake.

Speaking of segues, my reading of the daily newspaper has finally paid off. The world's former newest country, East Timor (which declared independence in 2002), has erupted in riots. This is most likely to be over the fact that their country is no longer the world's baby. On Saturday, Montenegro declared its autonomy, separating from Serbia.
The upside? Another country to visit that doesn't end in -stan. The downside? I officially no longer know the capital city of every country in the world.

Quitting Nova

2006-05-30T19:02:00.000+09:00

I quit my job yesterday. I'll get to that in a few paragraphs but first, the story leading up to it.

I don't know if I told you already, but I'm coming back to Canada this summer. I applied for a scholarship that, if I get the interview, I'll have to be back in Canada at the end of June. I haven't heard from the scholarship committee and might not for a week or two regardless, but I decided it would be a good time to go back to visit anyway.

Coincidentally, Japan's worst season (constant rain followed by unbearable heat and humidity) and Canada's best season (bearable temperatures and moderate sunniness) fall on the same time of year: summer. It's
a similar convenience to the fact that the southern hemisphere's summer is during our winter and the fact that China's day occurs simultaneously with Mexico's night. The world was designed so that if you really wanted to, you could beat the system and not have to deal with the added stress of winter or "night-time".

From what I remember, the stretch from June to September in Halifax is great. Restaurant patios open up, frequent visits are made to unpolluted beaches, enough snow disappears from Point Pleasant Park to go jogging everyday, the air fills with the scent of freshly-cut grass and barbecued meat, children drink in the streets, American tourists come to gawk at our simple ways, the elderly play with the ducks in the Public Gardens, the sun stays out until 10pm, ice cream is always for sale within three or four paces, and we Nova Scotians get a well-deserved, short break from the wearing of parkas, moccasins and sou'westers... in sum, the city is abuzz.

So I decided that if I was heading all the way to Montreal anyway, I might as well tack on a few weeks in Halifax to relax, eat some local cuisine, spend time with friends and family, and relax on the beach. So earlier this month, I submitted my vacation request form at work for five weeks off.

Now, if you're in Canada or elsewhere in the New World, you're probably nodding, "yes, five weeks, go on...". If you've ever worked for a company in Japan, however, you've probably just spit your coffee out all over your keyboard as you scramble to re-read that... "FIVE WEEKS?!!" you cry out in shock.

Yes, Japanese companies don't like to give vacation. A few years back when my family had a Japanese exchange student named Akino, her parents came to visit. Her father could only get something like three days off for the year, so they basically tried to see the entire country in a long weekend. As I recall, they flew into Halifax for the evening to have dinner with my family, her father got drunk off and red-faced and invited me to come back with them to Japan, they napped for an hour or two, then were quickly rushed back to the airport to make their return flight to Toronto to spend an afternoon at Niagara Falls before flying back to Tokyo.

This is why, when you see Japanese travel groups abroad, they will be traveling by the busload, file off of a bus at, say, the Eiffel Tower, take a dozen or so snapshots, then scurry back on the bus to make their way to, say, Italy. They just don't have the time to waste that the rest of the world does.

Every day when I ask my students how they are, rather than responding what I assumed was a natural "Fine, thank you", the most common answer, by far, is a dreary "I'm tired". One of my language exchange partners told me he works seven days a week, twelve hours a day and survives off of three hours of sleep. Sure they make decent salaries, but it's no wonder everyone is quietly sleeping on the train to and from work.

But... that's collectivism. Your job is your life. You want your company to succeed. It's all worth it for that $50 2-hour karaoke session you manage to sneak in and the promotion you might get down the road. Soon enough you'll be old and will have plenty of time and money to ride public transportation all day and contemplate how the foreign community is ruining modern-day Japan.

Wait, I'm getting way off-track. So, I submitted my request for vacation. Can you guess what happened next? The response was a very quick and efficient "No, we cannot issue you any unpaid holidays at this time" and that was that.

Secretly, this was actually the response that I was hoping for. Although I really enjoyed teaching my Nova students, as a general rule of thumb, I'm always yearning to quit my job for something better. Despite wanting to quit, I've kind of grown attached to some of the people and the environment, so I would have felt bad just quitting for what they would see as "no reason". I know that fear of quitting is a psychological trap that business managers use to try to keep their trained employees on a leash, but it works well.

I went to the travel agency to inquire about prices and was delighted. Even with today's enormous fuel surcharges my $650 round-trip ticket to Halifax only totalled just over $900. For some reason round-trip flights from Asia are generally less than half the price of those to Asia. It's not something for which I've been able to come up with a valid explanation but I guess some investigation into the international travel industry is in order.

Before quitting, I contacted Gaba, the school with which I had an interview back in April. I asked if they were still willing to train and hire me despite my going home for a month. They indicated that that would be perfectly fine (they're good people).

So yesterday, I filled out my resignation form and bashfully passed it on to my Japanese manager. She put on a big shock, silence, sadness act that was fun to watch but embarassing to play along with. She asked me to stay, asked me why I would want to leave... a co-worker of mine piped in and said it was Nova's fault since they didn't give me the vacation. She said she'd call head office and try to get them to change their mind. I said not to, then slowly backed out of the school and made a run for the train. I did it, I escaped!

Well, it feels good now. I only have thirteen working days left now before it's time to come home (I arrive in Halifax the night of June 20th, by the way). I'm surprisingly excited for the trip home. I'm especially excited for all the Japanese food I'll be eating. Halifax has great Japanese food. Well... it used to taste good. It better not disappoint me like the Halifax Chinese food I'd been dreaming about on my way home from my year in Hong Kong...

Walking down one of Umeda's covered streets

A visit to an absinthe bar with some co-workers (sugar burning over absinthe)

Drinking absinthe

Train passes potential passengers

Which is my train?

"Herro!!!" - Being harassed by schoolchildren on the train

"Amerika? Amerika? I am Japanese."

Kyoto Station: Train station of the future

Extreme Tracker

2006-05-23T22:45:00.000+09:00

After getting word of random people from work browsing through my blog, I secretly added Extreme Tracker to this website a couple of weeks ago.

By clicking on this icon you can view my website's visitors' statistics.

It turns out that only 52% of you are viewing this from Canada and an appalling 25% are viewing from Japan. Anyway, now that I'm able to collect this information, I can spy on you all much more easily. Thank you, Extreme Tracker.

Another Month Gone by - May 13th, 2006

2006-05-13T17:07:00.000+09:00

Ok, I'm having trouble remembering what happened a few weeks ago, so I'm going to write this in reverse chronological order like the movie Momento. Expect for things to get a little hazy by the end of it...

NOW

It's 5:36pm and I'm sitting in Popeye Media Cafe in Umeda, sipping on some Royal Milk Tea. I put the afternoon aside to come here, get my own private "Relax Booth" and get a few things done (including a big blog update).

FIFTY MINUTES EARLIER (Saturday, May 13th, 4:40pm)

I arrived at Number One Travel, an agency known for its cheap prices and foreign clientele. I inquired with the eager-to-please agent about flying back to Canada next month. He found me a good deal for under $900 roundtrip (including taxes). It would actually have been a lot cheaper, but there's an enormous fuel surcharge these days. I don't really understand the news, but I hear there's some kind of overpriced gasoline frenzy going on in the world at the moment (something about "highest gas prices ever" - don't bother clarifying this for me, I'm really not interested).

THREE HOURS EARLIER (Saturday, May 13th, 1:45pm)

Masahiko and I sat down at Mos Burger for our lesson. Luckily, he didn't seem angry for that afternoon's mishaps, so our lesson went by fairly smoothly. He learned about how to describe his weekly routines in various tenses and he learned all about all the exciting things that I do (hopefully it will inspire him to alter his routine of only working, studying, playing Final Fantasy XII and drinking with his parents). He seems to take particular interest whenever I mention eating sushi or drinking beer, so I try to include both in the majority of my stories.

After an hour, we planned our next meeting time the following week. He offered me an envelope of cash but I politely refused and apologized once again.

TWENTY FIVE MINUTES EARLIER (Saturday, May 13th, 1:25pm)

Good God I hate Michael Moore, I thought as I shut down the computer. I sauntered into my bedroom to see if there were any messages on my phone with exciting ideas of what to do today. There was one message, from a Masahiko Nose. It read:

Hello.Mr Ryan
I'm masahiko nose
Do you remember me?
I'm in nishinakajima minamikata St right now.
Was not it a lesson today?

Gahhh!! I exclaimed, remembering that I was supposed to teach my first lesson with a new private student at 1pm. I called him, casually apologized and in a mix of broken Japanese and English, managed to get the point across that we were going to meet in ten minutes at Mos Burger in Nishinakajima. I threw a pile of notebooks into my bag and bolted for my bike. I flew through the neighbourhood and made it just in time.

THIRTY MINUTES EARLIER (Saturday, May 13th, 12:10pm)

I was having a dream narrated by a woman who was swimming to a secret island after having a conversation with a friendly whale. Upon arriving on the island, she scaled a rocky cliff to find the clothes of another visitor to the island. She peered over a rock to see the island's natives partaking in a scary sacrificial ritual, with another obviously frightened foreigner attempting to creep past them in the background. She's going to get herself killed, I thought, when suddenly...

Ohhhh, I woke up to some kind of racket going on in the kitchen and my stomach hurt from the beer I drank and food I ate the night before. My room was dark so I reached my foot from my futon and batted at the curtains, trying to let some light in and give myself an incentive to get up.

A few minutes later I put in my contacts, ate a banana, turned on my roommate's computer and started watching my other roommate's DVD of Bowling for Columbine. I hope they wouldn't be mad that I'm using their stuff, I thought.

NINE POINT FIVE HOURS EARLIER (Saturday, May 13th, 2:30am)

I pressed play and started watching my roommate copy of "Dazed and Confused". I heated up my "Koroku" and opened a beer from the fridge. I've discovered a temporary cure for my insomnia troubles. Winding down with one beer before bedtime somehow helps me relax enough to prevent the hours of restlessness that sometimes keep me awake. After finishing my beer I turned off Dazed and Confused (great movie), got ready for bed and started reading the book about Australia my parents had sent me for Christmas. I need my dictionary in-hand to read this book and am learning a lot of exciting new British (and normal) vocabulary. Exhausted after a couple of pages, I turned my light off and drifted quickly to sleep.

-------------

I'm hungry so I'm going to try to speed this up. Here's what I did over the past week:

Last Saturday I went hiking with my Japanese friend Takeshi and his two friends, Megumi and Kumiko. Megumi and Kumiko spoke very little English so it worked out to be a great opportunity to work on my Japanese. We met at the train station at 10:30am (10:30am!!) We made a stopover in Kobe and I had a bagel and coffee as the girls went shoe-shopping (??). We ended up taking a bus just outside of the city. We hiked up Rokku Mountain and had a beautiful view of some tree-covered hillsides, Kobe city and Osaka bay. From the top, we took a cable-car down and spent the afternoon in Arima, an old village famous for its "foot onsens" - little pools of underground water where you can soak your feet to relax. It was a nice day and I was happy to accomplish something that my students have been recommending I do for a while.

As I mentioned last month, I've worked into my schedule three weekly group activities. I see a movie Sunday afternoons with two Japanese friends, have a delicious ethnic meal in Kobe Sunday evenings with an American friend, and play poker with the teachers from my building Monday evenings.

Kobe, famous for its beef and an earthquake that shook the city in 1995, has been Japan's gaijin (foreigner) capital for hundreds of years. In fact, I think it was the only city where foreigners were allowed to live before Japan emerged from its isolation in the late 1800s, so it has a deeply-engraved foreign influence, similar to cities like Hong Kong and Singapore. Anyway, the main benefit to me is the food. Kobe has a delicious variety of restaurants from all around the world. This week, Kobe Dining Society (as I call the new Sunday-night tradition), was visiting a Jamaican restaurant.

Jamaican food is ok. My tasty Jerk Chicken and breadsticks was also served with cabbage salad and ketchup (which was, incidentally, already poured onto my plate when it arrived). We were the only customers at the time, but I hear that it's usually pretty popular. When paying, we got a special discount for some reason.

Later that night, I had a work party in Takatsuki. Our work parties usually consist of about 30 English teachers from a variety of Nova branches in the area overrunning a local bar and paying what I consider an exorbitant amount (this time $30) for admission. I showed up an hour late and was surprised to see that although there was a large crowd there, not one of the other nine or so teachers from my school had showed up. The experience reminded me that I should really start following suit and not showing up to these things. I keep forgetting that I dislike most Nova teachers...

I may have mentioned last post that I was going to have training with a new English school called Gaba. Well they told me to come for training in June instead of May (it would have been this week) because Nova had requested that I also do training with them this week.

So Monday I had Kid's Training with Nova. As a side note, please keep in mind that I really, really have no intention of ever teaching kids. "Kids Classes" have become a massive new trend among Japan's English schools. The secret is: they're not really teaching the kids anything. Here's how it works:

A group of seven or eight kids come into a seatless classroom. The kids proceed to scream Japanese profanities and insults at the teachers, delighted that the foreigner probably can't understand any of it. The teacher sings little mindless songs to them and has them play games like tossing a paper ball into a bucket (using hand motions and demonstrations to ensure that no English is actually taught).

The teacher has little cards with pictures of things like witches and vampires and the lesson material literally goes like so:
Teacher: "It's a witch. What is it?"
Students: "It's a witch."
Teacher: "It's a mummy. What is it?"
Students: "It's a mummy."
etc.

By the end of the class, the student hasn't actually learned the vocabulary; they've just realized that they have to repeat the first statement. Anyway, Nova Kids is basically just an expensive and well-marketed daycare service.

Tuesday I went to Nara, an old-style famous town to the south of Osaka. I had been planning to go for months but hadn't gotten around to it until Catherine, a girl from back home, invited me to go to a Japanese tea ceremony with her and her friends. I wore a hakama (the male version of a kimono) and I'm happy to have gotten that experience out of the way, it should give me a few months to wallow in not having to participate in any traditional cultural activities whatsoever.

After the tea ceremony we went to Nara Park, a public park which is full of - get this - small and friendly deer. Horned deer are just walking around among the people and you can feed them biscuits. If I ever have a really big backyard, I think I'm going to try to kidnap a bunch of these deer for it because I think they'd be a lot of fun to have around. Apparently, thought I haven't witnessed this first-hand yet, they're trained by monks to bow when fed.

Thursday I got my hair cut. This was my first major haircut since I came to Japan six months ago (I've had just one minor hair cut), so the results are shocking. They gave me a slightly embarrassing, very Japanese style that I had to sport for the rest of the day at work, but it's now grown on me and my hair will hopefully grow out again quickly. That evening at work, upon walking into the room, a co-worker broke the silence with, "So, are you having a really, really bad hair day?"

Yesterday I went to the Immigration Office to get my working permit extended. There was a lot of confusion because, as you may recall, I currently have no passport (which is supposed to hold my working permit). My new passport, by the way, is currently being processed by the Canadian Embassy. This new passport is going to be great. I paid an extra five dollars to get a giant-sized one (48-pages) and have plans to fill it up by 2010. I was surprised to see that Japanese bureaucratic offices are fairly similar to Canadian ones... I had been expecting more robots and complimentary snacks.

On another side note, I have a new roommate. His name is Jack, he's about 25 and is Indian-British. He's very pleasant and a good guy to have around. Luckily, he's my first fully non-smoking roommate here, so the no-smoking-in-the-apartment rule is much more easily enforced. He has a laptop with a DVD player that we've combined with Adam's DVD collection and a set of speakers in our living room to make a decent entertainment system and have been watching a movie every night. This week has included Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, and From Dusk Till Dawn (hmm... a lot of Quentin Tarantino now that I think about it).

Oh yeah, I also have a new room. Will, my ex-roommate from California, left at the end of April to go on a ten-day meditation retreat in rural Japan. He returned last weekend with tales of enlightenment and such. Apparently, they had all made a vow silence on the first day and they spent the remainder of the "vacation" sitting quietly in a room and not being allowed to move (at all - if your knee hurts, he said, you still can't unbend it because that would mean you'd be "giving into a desire"). They only ate something really cultish-sounding like porridge, and weren't allowed to eat at all after 11:30am. Anyway, it sounded like a really, really fun time. Now he's on a big trip from Beijing to Bangkok overland, which I'm actually fairly jealous about.

With Will gone, I now hold seniority in the apartment and was able to move to the big room. This new room is actually bigger than the other two bedrooms put together and has a lot of exciting features like sliding doors, direct access to the balcony, a gigantic closet with shelves that I can (and will) nap on and many coat racks. I also bought a big bookcase for it at a nearby used furniture shop which fits in nicely.

Having my new room is great. My old room was tiny, its curtain wouldn't fully cover the window and it was right next to the masses of train tracks. So everyday at 5am when I was going to bed, the sun would come out and the trains would start up (with a lot of honking, for some reason), and it was horrible. The new roommate doesn't seem to notice yet, though. With my new room, I can eat popsicles on the balcony and the people in the office building across the street are none the wiser that I'm spying on them.

Speaking of cold treats, the weather is warming up here and it's now like summer back home. I wish I could just freeze the weather like this, because I hear we're about to enter two of the worst seasons in Japan's year. June encompasses the "rainy season", when there are supposedly downpours everyday for the entire month. Then, as soon as that's over, we're launched right into the "hot, wet summer", where the heat and humidity combine for something, I hear, is almost intolerable.

So to escape some of this, I'm planning on going back to Canada for a month this summer. I had been planning to coincide this with my university graduation and my scholarship interview, but I decided to drop the whole graduation ceremony attendance since there's really no point in my making the effort to go. But anyway, I'll be visiting in Halifax for a couple of weeks (maybe late-June and part of July) and will hopefully be in Montreal at the end of June, providing I get the scholarship interview I've applied for.

So now that the application deadline is Monday and you thus have no time to apply, I can openly talk about the Monbukagakusho scholarship that I applied for. I've applied for a really gigantic scholarship to study here in Japan. If accepted, the Japanese government will pay for me to fly back to Japan next year, take six months of Japanese lessons, and write a post-graduate thesis at a famous and exciting Japanese university. I'm proposing to research and write about the nature of Japanese entrepreneurship (and lack thereof). The government would pay for my flight, my tuition, my Japanese lessons, my accommodations, and provide me with a monthly salary equivalent to what I'm making now at Nova. If I get the interview, I'll have to go take it at the Japanese Consulate in Montreal at the end of next month.

The reason I didn't want to talk much about this until the deadline has almost passed is that, as things are standing now, the competition is really not too fierce. They give a out few of these per year to people from Quebec and the Atlantic provinces. In this region, there are almost no Japanese people and relatively little interest in Japan altogether, so I would estimate that under a dozen people apply each year. Anyway, I needed to request a slew of documentation and letters of recommendation from various places and I received notification from the consulate yesterday that they've received everything, so things are looking good.

What else... well, I got in a bike accident a few weeks ago. While cycling over a really long bridge, I was trying to see what time it was on my watch... the next thing I knew, a Japanese man was yelling and looked up to see us collide. We both ended up on the ground, mangled in our bikes. I faked a serious arm injury so he wouldn't yell at me, and helped him up with my "good arm". His bike looked a little banged up, but he quickly jumped on it and sped away without saying anything. I'm not sure what condition he was in, but by the time I got to the train station to meet a friend, my arm was all bloody.

On that note, I'm going to go find something to eat. Here are some pictures from this week:

First, some views of my new room...

...and onto the balcony

On the hills outside Kobe

The beginning of our hike up Mount Rokko

With it's massive urbanization, most people don't realize that 80% of Japan is covered in uninhabitable mountainous terrain!

A Monday evening stroll in Umeda

A woman purchasing some streetfood

At the tea ceremony

A deer friend of mine

Monthly Update

2006-04-18T15:05:00.000+09:00

Oh, it looks like it's about time for my monthly update. Time has really flown by and it's recently occurred to me that my teaching job at Nova is already the longest-standing job I've ever held. With my extensive resumé of summer temp jobs and on-the-side part-time jobs, I've never quite made it to the five-month mark before, so this is a bit of a milestone. And to those scrutinizing historians out there who are planning on bringing up my three-year stint as a paper carrier, well that wasn't a real a job, claims the Chronicle Herald. Paying a 12-year-old $25/week to get up at 4:30am every morning and ruin their adolescence is better described as child slavery.

So, as I was saying, time has flown by at work and I had my "six-month evaluation" last week. For this, the head teacher at my branch (school) furtively sat in on one of my lessons and took notes on my teaching progress since my last evaluation (early-January). Thursday evening I get the results, though the constructive criticism has already started flowing... I'm not worried about it, though. I get a lot of positive feedback from the students, have never been late for work (!), have never called in sick and am one of the few teachers at my branch who actually wears a suit to work everyday; those, I hear, are Nova's main concerns. Not that I'd really care if I were fired, anyway.

Moving along, I had a list of topics to cover as "things I've been doing" to update you on, but looking back at it now, most of it is outdated, so I'll just scrap that and talk about what I've been doing in general over the past month. It's going to be fairly disorganized, so brace yourself.

I've stopped doing whatever I used to do to pass my days (and can no longer remember what that was). Yes, I've picked up some new hobbies.

"Konami"

First of all, I finally joined the neighbourhood gym, Konami. If you recall my posts from about five months ago, this is the first gym that I checked out when I arrived in Osaka. It was late-November and I think I laughed in their faces when they told me their monthly price (something like $90). Well, it now turns out that that's actually a good deal for Japan and I'm now happy to pay it.

I think at the time I had been expecting a similar thing to occur as when I inquired about signing up for a gym called "California Fitness" in Hong Kong two years ago. The hard-headed sales agent wouldn't let me step out the door without a commitment. I think the quote sign-up price halved twice and she kept trying to throw in more deals and physically grabbing me by the arm. "I have to take one for the team! Please let me take one for the team!" she pleaded (foreigners really have trouble with the meaning behind those types of expressions). I ended up signing up with Califronia Fitness for lower than what I would pay in Canada. Not with Japanese gyms, though. The Japanese are so much less rascally than the Chinese and bargaining here would be offensive.

Gyms in Japan appear very strange to us foreigners for many, many reasons. Here are a few:
-Every day as I enter the gym, by the facility's rules, I have to take off my sneakers and carry them in my hands to the changeroom before putting them on again. Walking that twenty meters in my sock feet really makes us all feel at home.
-While undressed in the changeroom, it is not uncommon for an old woman to walk over, greet me enthusiastically in Japanese, then proceed to clean my surroundings.
-While attempting to use the pool, I was interrupted three times in the first five minutes by the lifeguard for (a) not wearing a bathing cap (he made me rent one from him), (b) swimming in a designated walking lane, and (c) swimming too fast in a designated medium-speed lane. I quickly got out and moved on to the cardio room.
-There is a room equipt only with coin-operated leg-massaging machines.
-Although there are only three shower stalls, there are about fifteen small chairs against the wall where people undress, sit down and wash themselves.
-The gym is annoyingly not open on Tuesdays.
-There is an outrageously high "new member fee" that is constantly waived to make people feel like they're getting a really good deal when they're signing up.

"The Daily Yomimuri"

Next, I've started reading the newspaper. It's fantastic. I hadn't followed any news in my first 4+ months here. In fact, I'm too embarassed to teach lessons at Nova concerning recent events or new topics because I really have no idea what the students are talking about. But I've started buying a daily English newspaper, "The Daily Yomimuri", and it's made me very, very intelligent.

I had stopped reading the newspaper last year because I was really sick of all the local filler I had to put up with. I had forgotten how interesting expatriate newspapers are. They keep things short, maybe just ten pages, and only talk about actual world issues that are of some consequence in the world.

"Coffee"

I've started drinking coffee. I had been avoiding it as far back as I can remember, but I'm finally discovering what's been missing in my life all these years. It has the drug capacity of cola without the jittery sugar, for a nice, smooth caffeine high. Why didn't anyone ever tell me? There's a Starbuck and a Dotour near my house that get visited daily when I get up every afternoon.

And it's great for my business ideas. I used to sit around and struggle to come up with good ideas, but I have completely filled notebook after notebook while just sitting around and taking it easy. Actually, the hobby of creating elaborate business reports definitely deserves its own section, but I want to keep that top secret because I'm scared someone will try to steal my notebooks.

"Private Students"

I've been building up my list of private students. My original private student, Naomi, is going onto her seventh weekly lesson tomorrow. She will learn about planning and booking a vacation. I have a few other private students that will be starting on lessons in the next few weeks. They happily pay me $25/hour. Actually, the industry standard price is even a little higher but 2500 yen is fine for me.

"A Second Job?"

Thursday I have an interview with another language school which a very different teaching mentality. It seems really interesting to me and I'm hoping to work with them only for a few hours a week, at least at first. I'll tell you more about it after the interview.

"Losing a Roommate"

Last week I went for revolving sushi with Will, my Californian roommate (you may remember him from such incidents as the burning mattress and his hallucinogenic drug habit). Will is leaving this weekend to go on a trip across Asia before heading back to the States and then England for graduate school this fall.

With Will gone, I have seniority over the apartment. This means I get the big bedroom, which is Japanese-style (sliding doors), attaches to the balcony and is at least the size of the other two put together. My other roommate (British Adam) and I have agreed to make a massive clean sweep of our apartment. Our incoming new roommate, England's own "Jeetendra", won't ever realize what a mess things were before he arrived. I tried to explain to Adam that he doesn't realize how drastically things improved before he arrived, but he doesn't believe me. We can actually touch various parts of the apartment now.

"Monbukagakusho Scholarship Application"

I'm having an exhausting time trying to organize the necessary documents for my scholarship application, due in about a month. I'm applying to do a two-year research degree in business on scholarship here in Japan, starting next April. Has anyone ever noticed how uncooperative most university administrators are? They keep requesting fees from me for menial tasks and when they don't have an answer to my question they often just don't respond. Back in Canada I was able to call them to pester them on a daily basis or even stop in at their offices, but from Japan that's next to impossible. I'm lucky I got started on this so early (February!) or else there's no way I'd have been able to get any of this done.

"Passport!"

I officially reported my passport as missing to the Osaka police. They wrote up a report. I visited the Canadian consulate yesterday and am hoping to have my application ready to be witnessed there tomorrow. Does anyone want to be one of my references? (I need four)

"Poker"

Monday has become the weekly poker night for Adam, Mark, Mike and I (all teacheres living in my building). I generally win everything every week. Actually, we've probably played about seven times and I only lost once. They're getting a bit annoyed, but are in denial: they're still insisting its just luck. This is kind of nice.

"Easter"

Happy Easter. It came and went without me realizing it. It's not celebrated at all here and the students that I had asked had never heard about it.

"Eating in Kobe"

As part of my Sunday evening routine, I've started meeting some friends in Kobe for dinner. I'm not sure if you know this, but Kobe has long been Japan's establish foreign community centre. Thus, the foreign food is delicious. I've had Indian and American, next week we're planning on Jamaican.

"April's Goals"

My goals for April were as follows:
JAPANESE: Finish my textbook (a lesson every two nights).
GYM: Go to the gym four times per week.
MONBUKAGAKUSHO: Have my application finished and ready to go by April 30th.
FINANCE: Keep thorough track of where my money's going.

"Japanese"

As part of my bid for the Monbukagakusho scholarship, I'm trying to master (well, not really master) Japanese. I'm now on lesson 24 out of 30 and have started on kanji (chinese characters that are incorporated into the language). It makes me sleepy but I'm slowly starting to understand some of what these people are saying.

"Gym"

I already covered this but should note that I've only been making in three times per week. I'm full of disappointments.

"Finance"

If you ever want to keep yourself in check for anything (spending habits, eating habits, etc.), feel free to use the following self-recording method that I invented (VERY practical).
I have been writing down EVERYTHING I spend money on. It's shocking when I glance over it at the end of the day and really shows me where I've been wasting your money. I did the same thing a few years ago with any food consumed when I was trying to lose weight and it was shocking to see how much food was going into me that I'd usually forget about.
---------------
It has just occured to me that this whole post has been basically me talking about nothing, so I'm going to end off with a quick photographic journal on what's gone on in Japan over the past few days.

Brunch is enjoyed at the Hilton Umeda. I never realized breakfast could be this delicious or expensive.

Ryan pays a visit to Osaka's Canadian Consulate.

The trees of my neighbourhood burst with cherry blossoms.

I take an evening stroll to the Kobe train station.

A man passes out on the seats of Awaji station tonight.

My clothes hang out to dry (what, did you think you were done with this picture last week?)

The sun sets of Shin-Osaka.

Japanese people gather on various trains, watched over by the Nova Usagi.

Talk to you soon,
Ryan

P.S. How much fun do you think a bongo drum version of "Dance Dance Revolution USA" would be? According to Japan: very. This game is currently on its 8th version:

Post Postponed

2006-04-15T02:08:00.000+09:00

Ok, so I didn't update yesterday... I started, but it just wasn't working itself out. So here are some pictures to tide you over.

(My Street, My Apartment, Some Cherry Blossoms, My Clothesline, My Heater)
...This should buy me at least three days...

Ashita Ne

2006-04-12T22:57:00.000+09:00

It's been a while. Sorry, I've been busy. Update tomorrow?

As another attempt to stall, please enjoy this picture of cherry blossoms. It's hanami (cherry blossom-viewing) season here and all of Japan is abuzz.

Monday afternoon

2006-04-03T15:24:00.000+09:00

Wow, I've really been keeping up with this blog well lately... Things have been hectic (well, not really, but I joined the local gym so I'm tired all the time) but I'll update soon.

Ryan

But before I go, just a picture to keep you entertained... here is my school's mascot. Any product (including an English school) sells better in Japan if it's associated with a cartoon animal. You can see this one everywhere and he is a big part of all of our lives. Please meet the Nova Usagi (Nova Rabbit):

2006-03-26T21:59:00.000+09:00

Hey, I have great news! I didn't do anything this weekend! I just relaxed around home and strolled around and such. It was great!! Isn't my blog interesting?

Actually, I've been feeling a little sick and tired. My latest theory is that I'm lactose intolerant. Luckily, lactose is among Japan's many intolerances too (right after immigrants).

This week, one of my roommates has three Californian guests staying in our already-cramped apartment. Luckily, they've been really good guests. They all just go out all day, come home and are long gone by the time I get up.

Anyway, not too much new going on. I escaped most social activities over the past week and it feels good in my bank account. I'm trying to save some money now to put away. I'm taking on two new secret private students in the next couple of weeks. My current private student is doing great, today we learned about numbers. I felt a little disappointed, though, when she told me that she had budgeted the equivalent of $3.00 for her trip to Canada.

Oh yeah, today in Starbucks I saw a little boy with a t-shirt with French writing and in big letters it said "Fille". French, German and Italian, which are found commonplace here when a product is trying to look expensive, are usually much more mangled than English, so all that European language study of mine is finally paying off.

Remember how I mentioned that restaurants here have plastic food models in glass cases outside of their shops? Well I took some pictures of some. When I first arrived they looked disgusting. Now they look delicious.

Yes, that's a $30.00 sundae on the top row. It makes the $8.50 sundae beneath it sound like a fantastic deal. But just think, how much would you pay for a sundae back home?

Japanese Food!

Omelets filled with rice (called Omeraisu) are massively popular here. And pretty good. This all may seem pretty edible, but I was a little terrified by the food here when I first arrived. They didn't have any of the "traditional" Japanese food I was expecting (by which I mean the food that I had been led to believe was Japanese before I came). But at this point, I've really gotten used to the food options available here, and I .never think about food from back home! Ok, that's not true at all, but I am actually enjoying my options here for the time being.

2006-03-18T18:59:00.000+09:00

Hey, it's been a really busy past couple of weeks so there's an overwhelming amount of information, but I kind of don't have time to organize it all, so I'll try to remember back to where I left off. Actually, no, that's too hard. I'm going to do this posting in reverse-chronological order, starting with next Tuesday.

"Kid's Camp"

I've agreed to help out in some kind of middle school/ high school English kids' camp on Tuesday (a Japanese national holiday). They're paying me $100! It will be interesting since I haven't really had any contact with the Japanese youth yet. I hear that schoolteachers are allowed to hit their students, so I want to take full advantage of that authority.

"My First Private Student"

Sunday I have my first real lesson with Naomi, my first private student. I mentioned last post that I was going to have a trial lesson with her to see if she liked my teaching methodology, and I guess she agreed because she's now an official pupil of mine. Her English is really, really horrible. Like really, REALLY bottom-of-the-barrel level, which is great. So I get to design a curriculum for her and all her progress will be a direct result of only my teaching. I love playing god.

"El Pancho"

Tonight I'm going to an office party at El Pancho, a mexican restaurant that you've probably heard me mention numerous times. It's strange... In a city with over a hundred thousand restaurants, this is my fourth time going to this small Mexican one in a distant part of town, always on the request of other people. I'm lucky it's so delicious. As in, best Mexican food ever (and that's saying a lot for Asia).
I wouldn't have gone to this event (my co-worker's birthday party) but I'm really, really trying to make an effort to get on the good side of my co-workers. I got off to a really bad start (being really awkward and overly focused on my job) when I first arrived and it hasn't all fixed itself over time like I expected it to. Not that I particularly need or want them as friends, but it would make things a lot more relaxed at work and probably be for the best for everyone. And it will probably be fun anyway.

"Kyoto University"

Today I went to do research at the library of Kyoto University (one of the best in the country). It took me four trains and a couple of hours to get there and back, and when I arrived at 4:58pm, it was JUST closing and I had to turn around and go home. It's ok, though. At least I got to ride a lot of trains. I like riding trains.
If you're wondering why I would be doing research, it's for a thesis proposal for a Japanese scholarship I'm applying for. Just to let you know, this scholarship application is probably going to be a very long, drawn-out plotline over the next couple of months, so if you think you're going to find that boring, I suggest not checking up on my blog until the summer.

"The Japanese Irish"

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. I brought it up in all five of my classes, and no students here had ever heard of it. I guess none of them are of Irish descent. That's funny because everyone claims to be of Irish-descent back home. I don't know why. Most people are primarily English or French, but nobody wants to admit it. Especially me. I found out last summer that I'm something like 1/32nd Norwegian and I've been playing that up whenever anyone asks me where my family comes from ("Well, I was born in Canada, but my ancestors were vikings. Raping, pillaging, massacring, flesh-eating vikings.")

"Good Feedback"

The head teacher at my school told me yesterday that I've been getting a ton of good feedback from the students. This is rare, apparently. But I'm kind of not surprised at all. Since I only work part-time, I'm still really enthusiastic and having a great time for every lesson, so the students enjoy it and have fun. Also, I think I'm starting to learn more what they have problems with and how to explain things to them. I'm really, really great.

"Meeting the Neighbours and the Revival of Poker in Lions Mansions"

I may have mentioned long ago that I have never seen another foreigner in my building. There were age-old legends that there are two other Nova apartments in our building, three girls on the 8th floor and three guys on the second floor. I thought that these were just fables, but it turns out that they're at least half-true.

As you know, we got a new roommate a couple of weeks ago from England. By chance, the guys' apartment on the second floor also got a new roommate from Australia. So, these two guys were in the same orientation and we got to go down and meet them all. Anyway, the Australian guy brought a set of poker chips and we've now had three poker games. I love it. They're all beginner to intermediate level. This is the best level to play against because they're overconfident but don't really know which hands are good and can easily be bluffed against. Anyway, I won everyone's money all three times. The next best guy, the Australian, is really cocky and thinks it's all just luck, which is great for me because he's determined to beat me (this is going to be a very expensive goal, I hope). Anyway, we've agreed to play every Monday night.

>>>>> I have to go to work, I'll continue this on Wednesday. Meanwhile, Japan's sumo wrestling league, which travels around the country and is really exciting to watch, is in Osaka now, so I hope to go see it live sometime this week. Here's a preview:

Big update coming soon...

2006-03-14T15:07:00.000+09:00

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, things have been pretty busy and I think the past four days or so has been the longest I've gone without using the internet in years! I'll post another big update soon, but meanwhile, here is a picture of a giant spider crab from the Osaka aquarium:

These things are huge and likely pure evil.

SPRING BREAK 2006!!!!

2006-03-03T15:48:00.000+09:00

Again, sorry for not posting for a couple of weeks (that is, if anyone is still paying attention). I'm on break now (see below) so just like in the olden days before I started working, I have time for another massive post. Enjoy.

"Taking Care of Visitors..."

Last week my brother's friend Jon stayed at my apartment for about five days. Osaka was his first stop on a big backpacking trip around Asia and luckily we had an extra room at my place as we were "between roommates". I had to work every day so I wasn't able to spend too much time with him, so apparently he got lost constantly. Someone isn't very good at following directions to the subway station and I received a number of frantic e-mails to my phone while at work.

He was a great guest, though. While we were out, he cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom sink area, organized our video collection and did our taxes. He also smuggled some maple syrup and maps into the country for me from my parents. I don't particularly like maple syrup, but I ordered a few bottles so that I could give it to people as gifts of appreciation. Everyone knows that if you help a Canadian they will give you maple syrup and I'd like to keep that dream a reality.

Anyway, I had hoped to get some touristy Osaka excursions out of the way while Jon was here and I did manage to accompany him to Osaka's biggest tourist attraction: Osakajokoen (Osaka Castle Park). Osaka Castle was originally built, I believe, during the period that Osaka was the capital of Japan (about 1400 years ago) but that building was long torn down and rebuilt over and over again. Anyway, the current structure, I hear, was built in the 1930s and revamped in 1997, so it's equipped with modern-day conveniences like elevators, just as all castles should be. Japanese castles, by the way, are not as exciting and extravagant as their European counterparts. They're more so just a big, tall, Japanese-style house-like structure surrounded by moats and stone walls and the like. Actually, below this paragraph is a really good picture of it that I just found on the internet.

The view from the top of the "castle" was pretty good (it's in the middle of the city) and the rest of the eight or so floors were a semi-interesting museum, but the part that really impressed me was the park surrounding it. Finding green space is almost impossible in Osaka and this was a decent-sized park, so I think it's going to be a nice place to come to relax in the summertime. Additionally, the stone walls and wide moats make it a very appropriate place to conduct a battle.

"...And Working Overtime"

Sunday I was called into work early in the morning for a day of overtime. I was really happy to do it since I'm very low on money (I can't wait for my first real paycheque in March). When I came in, the Japanese staff started clapping and bowing and expressing their gratitude for me having come in on such short notice. I know it's all forced appreciation, but it still feels good. I hear, though, that the opposite is expected of a teacher if we ever call in sick: the next day we're supposed to be very on edge and apologetic and express our deep sorrows formally to each member of the Japanese staff for having inconvenienced them in such a manner. I hope I never have to call in sick (and I doubt I will - I'm very strong, you know).

"Spring Break 2006!!!"

So adding that Sunday to my schedule doubled my workweek. That's right, this week I'm on Spring Break and was only scheduled to work on Monday. I had built up this "Spring Break" by doing shift swaps (trading shifts and working for other teachers in weekends past) and having everyone else work for me this week. Back in January, disillusioned with the concept of the amount of money I'm making, I thought I'd be able to go traveling this week. I somehow envisioned myself, after having put some spare cash away towards paying back my student loans, having some leftover funds to travel.

At first I had intended to spend this week in Palau. You probably don't know what Palau is, but it's an island-nation east of the Philippines with a tropical climate, a very small population, a big lake full of giant stingless jellyfish, some of the best underwater sights in the world, and a relatively untouched tourism infrastructure. But God no, after checking out flight prices, that idea was dropped a long while ago.

Then I thought I'd make my way back to Hong Kong. I could get a relatively cheap flight, stay in my old university residence fairly cheaply, visit some old friends, eat some tasty noodles, bring back some good memories - but again, no. Actually, I kind of misplaced my passport for the time being... More on that later.

So I finally decided that I'd do something within Japan. Actually, I really wanted to go skiing in Nagano before the season is up. But I didn't do that. I haven't ventured past Kyoto, which is kind of too bad since having six days off in a row really doesn't happen too much to English teachers here. But I guess it's a lesson of better planning for next time.

"Bike Patrol vs. Ryan Smith"

Tuesday night I left my bike overnight at Nishinakajima-Minamigata station. I thought I was parking it in a safe area, but the next morning I jogged back to pick it up and it was gone. No, it wasn't stolen, this is Japan. It was picked up by an anonymous Japanese government force that I have heard of, and is allegedly being detained at what has been described to me as "Bike Prison". You see, although bikes are very widely used here and are parked all over the place, you need a permit to park anywhere. I, of course, don't understand anything, but it's been explained to me that only a very limited number of permits are available, so everyone just parks illegally every day in places where they see lots of other bikes parked (this makes theirs look more discreet). Randomly, government officials will patrol an area -- they are clad with jackets that have big "NO BICYCLE" symbols (a no smoking symbol but with a bicycle instead of a cigarette) and they tag bikes to be hauled away to bike prison. Once in bike prison, I'm told the owner needs to come and present evidence of bicycle ownership and pay a fee to get it back. It all seems like a very silly procedure to me, but maybe its benefits will be uncovered one day (things have a tendency of doing that here).

Anyway, so my bike is missing! I've had to walk and take the train everywhere! It's horrible!! Well, it's not so bad, but I want my bike back. So today I set out, determined to get it back. I asked my Japanese friends and no one knew where the holding cells were (they're different for different parts of town and everything anyone knows all seems to be mysterious-sounding hearsay). So I went to my local community office and demanded to know the homebase of the elusive bike patrolmen. There was a lot of scrambling around, frantic phone calls and butchered Japanese and English, but eventually they gave me a map. If this is accurate information, it should be in Higashi-Mikuni, the community north of mine.

"New Roommate"

As you may have known, my apartment was blessed with the arrival of a new roommate on Wednesday. We had been informed a few weeks ago that he was coming, "Mr. Adam from United Kingdom", but were told nothing more of him. When I got home Wednesday evening he had already gone to bed, but there was a half-open bottle of scotch on the dinner table and my other roommate said that "he was cool". I started eating the apple I had purchased the previous day (apples are a big purchase here - the very cheapest are about $1 each in a grocery store, though they're so juicy and delicious that they're worth it) and the new roommate emerged from his room, half-asleep and very confused (possibly a little drunk?).

Anyway, he seems like a decent guy. Coincidentally, he comes from Halifax (though not the real one, the original in England - henceforth referred to as Halifax 2). He took an English teacher's training course and taught in Prague for a while and has done a lot of traveling. But like most teachers here, he's 27 or 28 or something ludicrous like that... so, so old. I think I remember when my mother was that age. Actually, no, I think I remember her turning 30, but still, it's getting weird to think that I'm almost in that same age group.

I took Adam to get passport photos taken yesterday and showed him how to get to Juso. He's a friendly guy, but there's one BIG problem. Our apartment is already starting to reek of tobacco. I don't think he smokes in the house, but smokes on the balcony constantly and somehow I think it's still seeping into the apartment (STUPID HONSHU ISLAND LACK OF WEATHERING). While I was eating pizza toast and watching a bad Star Wars movie yesterday morning for about forty minutes, I think he went out for a smoke three separate times... crazy non-Canadians and their smoking habits!! Actually, I think both of the other roommates smoked but were more casual about it. Anyway, I've decided that I'm going to call Nova next week and tell them I want to change apartments.

"Tokyu Sports Oasis"

I tried to join a gym on Monday called Tokyu Sports Oasis. I've been trying to join a gym for weeks and have visited about half a dozen, but things aren't working out. For this particular one, I had gone with a Japanese friend to translate some membership issues a couple of weeks ago and I thought everything was in order, but things didn't work out. Actually, I'm really, really mad about it. I started writing a post about this a few days ago but it enraged me too much that I couldn't finish and had to jog home in a fit of rage. Good times in Osaka. Actually, I'll try to explain it quickly while maintainig my composure...

I went to this gym two weeks ago, it's really close to my work. They explained to me that I could get a membership for a month for around $93 CDN (very expensive, I know) in a week if I put down a sort of deposit of $21. So I came back a week later with the other 7200 yen in hand to pay for the rest of it, and they were just like "Oh yeah, you also need to pay the membership fee". "No no," I explained, "We went through this very thoroughly last week and the membership counsellor said this is all I would have to pay. Look, I already put down the deposit." She then explained something to the effect of "But she didn't tell you about the HIDDEN fee of $39!" Ohhh, right. Anyway, I thought I wasn't understanding, but they brought a member with good English over to translate to me and I had understood completely: They were keeping my deposit and I could only get it back if I signed up for the $132 month-long membership. Anyway, I maintained my composure and just got up and left, but I was so enraged... I took down the manager's name and there will definitely be a fair amount of complaining and I WILL get that deposit back. Mark my words, Tokyu Sports Oasis...

"Munich, Christon Cafe, Fish and Chips"

Yesterday was my Nova Scotian friend Catherine's birthday and we went to see the movie "Munich" (thought-provoking!), followed by drinks at a Christianity-themed bar (lots of candles, flahsing lights, a multi-coloured disco ball and many old-looking pictures of Jesus and bible scenes). Oh, and its entrance has the only revolving door that I've seen in Japan. Very spiritual. I paid for fish & chips for dinner since it was her birthday, but I really regret this in retrospect. Treating people to things in Japan is just overly expensive and I won't be around for any birthday pay-backs since my working visa here ends in November. To the anonymous person who was whining a few posts ago about how I do things in expectation of gifts from other people, please ignore this paragraph. But I'm considering telling everyone here a fake birthday this year so that I can celebrate it before I leave. I did the same thing in Hong Kong and it was a smash hit, everyone had fun (people even bought me champagne). The day doesn't really matter, as long as you get your birthday in once a year.

"A Japanese Haircut"

You haven't seen any pictures of me for a while, so you're probably unaware of the fact that I haven't cut my hair since I was in Canada last November. Yeah, my hair's longer than it has ever been. It's kind of nice having longer hair, it keeps me warm on those cold Osaka nights and looks glamorous. Actually, the real reason I hadn't gotten it cut was because I was terrified of getting a Japanese haircut. Many, MANY people here have hairstyles that look horribly humorous and I didn't want to be one of them, so I was holding out. Anyway, I knew the time had come when one of my Japanese friends offered to find me a free haircut. One of his friends, you see, run some kind of upscale hair salon in Kyoto and she said that she'd be willing to cut my hair for free if I came at night-time.

So last night, I nervously showed up in Kyoto to get my hair cut. They were really friendly, though couldn't speak English, but my friend was there do translate. They asked me what I wanted. I had no idea, in Canada you just go to get a general haircut, but I don't think I wanted whatever that was here (possibly one of those stylish orange mullets I've been seeing all over the place). They gave me some magazines of Japanese men with really large, extravagant hairstyles and asked me which one I wanted. Definitely none of them, really. I asked for a magazine with foreigners, and they brought me some kind of Euro-trash fashion show magazine. Ugh... I just asked them to suggest something.

Their immediate suggestion was that I get my hair cut like Frodo from Lord of the Rings, since I already look like him. With that rejected, they suggested something that sounded to me an awful lot like a mullet. Their final suggestion was some kind of mohawk, so with this going nowhere, I just told them to cut it just a little shorter.

Anyway, they spent the next two hours or so trimming it very slowly, bit by bit. By the end, it actually looked ok, so I was really relieved. They then styled it for a night on the town, which looked pretty funny, but I couldn't change it until they were far out of sight since I was really, really thankful that they did this all for free for me. Actually, everyone involved was really nice and I saw the price list and it would have cost me over $50 regularly, I think. Anyway, I bowed a lot, thanked them profusely, and told them that I was really relieved, since I had told them at the beginning that I was really scared. Telling people I'm scared, here, seems to really relax them and makes people treat me really nicely. I've used it a lot... while teaching classes, opening a bank account, shopping in the supermarket... it seems to relax people, makes them more helpful and gives them a greater sense of satisfaction for easing the anxious foreigner's time in Japan.

"Case of the Missing Passport"

Oh, and as I said I'd tell you about my missing passport. Well, there's not much to tell. I realized a while ago that I hadn't seen it in a while. I called the Canadian Consolate and no one has turned it in, so I'm assuming it's kicking around my room somewhere (though I feel like I've turned the place upside-down searching for it). I really don't want to have to get a new one because I had all kinds of exciting stamps in this one and my Japanese working visa, but the consolate has sent me the appropriate forms to replace it. My goal for my week off, though, has been to uncover it, so today I'm going to go buy some storage containers and empty out and reorganize my room. In fact, here's a rare glimpse at today's "to do" list:

1) Find map to Bicycle Prison
2) Buy Japanese notebook and pens (I'm half-way through my Japanese beginner's course!!!)
3) Write blog <-- I'm here now>
4) Pick up bike
5) Get contacts back from Catherine (I forgot them in her purse - this may take a while since we only meet up once a month and she lives down south)
6) Buy storage containers
7) Clean Room
8) Find passport
9) Celebrate having found passport
10) Meet Kayo for Language Exchange
11) Prepare Naomi's English lesson

Oh, that's right. I have my first freelance private student on Sunday. I registered a few weeks ago with a tutoring company who says they'll find me some private students and I will be paid handsomely if things work out. Her English, they tell me, is VERY beginner. I don't have experience with such a low level, so I'm going to try to plan out a really exciting basic lesson with stimulating material such as "Hello, nice to meet you.", "My name is ___." "I am Japanese." etc.

Well, that's all I have time for now. I have to go... "Pick up bike". I'll leave you with a few pictures from Kobe's Chinatown.

Chotto Matte Kudasai...

2006-03-01T18:24:00.000+09:00

Sorry I haven't updated in a long while. There have been some slight technical difficulties so I'll be sure to add a post of considerable size soon. Stay tuned.

[Left] Umeda - Beggar (bottom-right) text-messages someone on his cell phone. Somehow, it goes by unnoticed. Maybe Japanese pan-handling is a more lucrative career-choice than I once thought...
(Sorry about the quality, this photo was sneakily taken with my phone)

Neighbourhood Animals, Spa World and Bowling

2006-02-20T15:33:00.000+09:00

Last night I was biking home and saw, for the second day in a row, a strange animal that was digging through the garbage crossed in front of me. For lack of ever having seen one of these creatures before, my guess is that it was a "possum". Ok, I Just looked up a picture of a possum on google images, and no, it wasn't a possum. I looked up a bunch of other animals that I've heard of but didn't know what they were, and can assure oyu that it also wasn't a meerkat, a weasel or a marmot (I really doubted it was that one anyway). But it was long, with a point nose, about as long as a cat but maybe... flatter? I don't know. Anyway, to my surprise, there seem to be more animals in urban Osaka than I would have imagined.

There are stray cats, for example, near a playground near my apartment. The local elderly seem to have taken quite an interest in them, as I have seen numerous old people attempting to feed and/or catch them. I saw an old man making strange noises in the general direction of one of the cats and the cat was ignoring him.

Moving along, this weekend was pretty fun. Yesterday (Sunday) I was invited by one of my Japanese friends to go to "Spa World", a gigantic spa complex in southern Osaka that is on sale for the next two months. Onsens (baths) are very popular, traditional and all over the place in Japan and I hadn't experienced one yet. Spa World was an eight-floor mega-centre in the middle of the city. We first went to the top floor where they had swimming facilities with giant waterslides and all kinds of advanced pool features. For example, there was a gigantic wooden bucket with water constantly pouring into it. When it got full enough, alarms would go off and it would dump all over the people on one side of the pool. It was a lot of fun. Next, we went to the European bath floor. There's an Asian-style and a European-style floor and each month they rotate genders (onsens are split up into genders). And it's a good thing that they were, because Japanese people are shameless when it comes to walking around naked, apparently. The European floor was split into the style of a half-dozen different areas: Finland was really cold water with hot saunas (oh, and fake birch trees and rocks). Greece, Rome, "Blue Cave", "Outdoor European spa" were all frustratingly hot. There was a Greek "red wine" bath that was kind of interesting, though unbearably hot. We went to a "salt room" where you're supposed to just rub salt over your body and to a couple of other unbearably hot baths. What I did enjoy, though, was relaxing in the cold Finnish bath. Most of the Japanese people stood clear of it, but it was really refreshing. Then afterwards in the Atlantic bath, where you're in a kind of section-off aquarium with fish and small sharks swimming behind glass under and next to you. Anyway, it was pretty relaxing and quite cheap.

Afterwards I went bowling as an event with people from work. I'm really bad at bowling, I was even surprised. I don't think I've ever used those gigantic balls with finger holes in them. No one understood what I was talking about when I tried to explain what bowling balls are back home. Anyway, I think I came in second last, followed only by a girl from Halifax that I met that night. It must be a local thing. Anyway, I think we're both getting prizes for coming in last place.

Time for work, talk to you soon.

Ryan

Hello Kitty Special

2006-02-19T00:19:00.000+09:00

***Japan Topics***
TOPIC #3: Hello Kitty (& friends)

Who is the character to the left of this text? Hello Kitty, you think? Wrong. This is Charmmy Kitty, Hello Kitty's pet cat.
"Charmmy bears a striking resemblance to her owner, except that she has more 'cat-like features'."
-Emma Boyes, "Hello Kitty Trivia", Japanzine, February 2006.

Anyway, I thought that would interest you. Back in early December I went Christmas shopping for one of my young cousins and was instructed to buy a "Hello Kitty-style" doll, when I came across Charmmy Kitty. I didn't end up buying it, I bought a much more appropriate small bear-like creature that was attached to a squid.

Moving along, as you probably know as one of your only "Asian Facts", they love Hello Kitty. I was really confused about the obsession for a long time, but I'm slowly starting to understand... She has no mouth and that is very, very funny.

So this month in Japanzine, a free national magazine for English-speakers, there was a feature on Hello Kitty, and I thought I'd plagiarize some interesting facts about Asia's favorite young cat.

Hello Kitty and her competing characters (there are a number of them) all have elaborate background stories that the general public is supposed to know. Hello Kitty, for instance, is not actually Japanese, but British. "She was born in London on November 1st, 1974. Her surname is White and her parents are called George and Mary. She lives with them and her sister somewhere in 'suburban London'".

"At any one point in the year, there are 22,000 Hello Kitty products on the market. The only licenses that (its company) forbids... are sharp objects, drugs, guns, hard alcohol and cigarettes. "Soft" alcohol... is okay... Hello Kitty red wine has been sold in years past."

"Hello Kitty caused fisticuffs and riots in normally sensible Singapore in 2000, when McDonald's restaurants launched a special New Year promotion, giving away Hello Kitty dolls in wedding suits as Happy Meal toys... Two weeks later, a riot occurred when Kitty-crazed fans shattered a glass storefront window in a frenzy to get to the toys. Seven people were injured and the police subsequently had to use crowd control measures at the most popular stores. Bad Kitty!"

"There is a Hello Kitty shrine at the National History Museum in Singapore. Perhaps they're not so sensible there, after all."

"Kitty has an admirer called Tippy, a brown bear who rides a bicycle, and is described as 'strong but gentle'."

"Kitty's official weight is described as being 'three apples' and her height is 'five apples'.

"Despite being a cat, Kitty's blood type is A negative."

"Despite being 31, she is still in third grade."

Valentine's Day in Japan

2006-02-14T23:36:00.000+09:00

Ok, first of all I want to apologize about my last post. There's nothing wrong about being a 30-something year old English conversational English teacher in Japan. I would much rather be teaching English here at 35 than doing just about any other job I've ever had - yes, even telemarketing - but I would maybe still do that paper route on the side, if I had the option.

Probably the only better job I had than the one I have now was the two months or so that I worked at Famous Players Silver City cinema while studying in Ontario. I lived directly across the street, ate popcorn all day, chatted with pleasant movie-goers, and the perks were incredible: Unlimited free movies in a 12-theatre cineplex. Furthermore, most of my co-workers were high school kids, so closer to my maturity-level, willing to sneak me free combos when I came in, and desperate to overtake all those shifts I didn't want (actually, I didn't want to work much at all, I was mostly in it for the free movies).

My worst job ever was a certain temp job that I did a few years back. It's hard to describe exactly what was so horrible about it, but it took place at small insurance office in Burnside (an industrial wasteland-suburb of Halifax) and involved filing files that were unfileable and being scolded by an angry, overweight secretary named Debbie. And the fact that it was my worst really says a lot since I've really been around as far as employment goes.

Anyway, this past week was fun. I went for an interview with an English tutoring company called ABCKARA. They said that I passed the interview and claim that they will find me some students to tutor for $25/hr "sometime soon", but still I haven't heard from them. I really wanted that money before today (payday is tomorrow) but I guess it will be nice in the future. I'm here using the internet on my last pocket change, I can't wait to get off these limited paycheques and actually get the opportunity to earn AND save some money.

I worked all day Saturday for a co-worker who was away snowboarding in Hokkaido. Now I have three of the five days of the last day of the month free. It seems all too exhausting to get a full week off here... I've just worked five straight 6-day weeks, I think.

Sunday I saw the movie "Jarhead", which just opened here this weekend. I already saw it back in the fall in Canada and loved it, though apparently I'm the only person who "got" it. It's a war movie but there are no actual battles. Ha ha. The Gulf War is funny. The music is great, too. The person I dragged to go see it with me hated it and a later discussion at an izakaya proved that all the people I had advised to go see it hated it too. I'm sorry, but I still want to both see it again and go to Iraq.

Sunday evening I went to an izakaya (Japanese-style bar, I'm not going to explain this again) with the Japanese/foreign group that I hung out with last week. My friend who introduced me to these Japanese people has since informed me that they're of a local breed known as "gaijin hunters" (foreigner hunters - they try to surround themselves only with foreigners). Although this is seen as a negative (maybe even verging on racist) ideal, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Not that I'm trying to vouch for these specific gaijin hunters, but I think it's ok to want to spend time with people from other countries (like my distaste for Canadians back home).

Today was Valentine's Day. I was a little disappointed. Valentine's Day in Japan is a bit different from back home... Only girls give gifts. They're supposed to give chocolate to the special men in their lives. This is later paid back in March on "White Day", when these men who received gifts are supposed to give mcuh better presents back. So all-in-all, it's a pretty good investment for girls. Anyway, I heard last week that some girls in voice had been discussing which teacher they thought would get the most chocolate and apparently one of them voted for me, so I was kind of expecting a pile of chocolate by the end of today, but it didn't happen. I even pushed the issue pretty hard for the past couple of days, letting all my female students know my chocolate preferences (mint chocolate, peanut butter chocolate, chocolate milk, etc.) in all of my classes, but nothing came of it. I got some of those alcoholic chocolates that I hated as a kid but taste alright now Sunday night from one of the gaijin hunters. I also got a rum-raisin chocolate bar from an older student of mine and the male teachers collectively got a big jar of chocolate from a student and some apple pie from a Japanese staff-member. Some of it was very delicious. Japan isn't too bad chocolate-wise, but it still sure could use some more mint and peanut butter. Take note, Japanese investors.

Time's up, I'll continue later.

Thursday Afternoon Post

2006-02-09T14:51:00.000+09:00

I'm not the "new guy" at work anymore. Over the past week, my branch has hired two new teachers. One is a transfer teacher from near Tokyo and is an estimated 31 years of age and from somewhere in British Columbia. The other is a fresh-off-the-boat guy from western Louisiana of an estimated 27 years of age. He speaks with a very thick accent and makes frequent references to things like "cajun shrimp" and "Mexicans". They both seem fairly boring, but I can be a little quick to judge people.

I thought, before I came, that the majority of teachers here would be in the same boat as me: fresh out of university and looking to make some money in an exciting place for a year or so before either continuing with more education or choosing what to do with the rest of their lives. I was wrong. Although my Orientation group had a number of people around my age, most of the teachers here seem to be dangerously old. At my branch (branch=school), out of all nine or so teachers, I'm the only one under 25 and I think there's only one other "80s kid". A few of them are well into their thirties and I have to wonder... what did these people do with their lives? Not that there's anything wrong with teaching English, but these people,in their thirties and with university degrees, seem to be in the same place in life as I am. I just find it a little confusing that they haven't mustered up enough initiative to move onto something else with more of a future.

Back to new people, as I said in my last post, "February in Osaka", my roommate Chris left and we were awaiting word for the arrival of our new roommate. Well, word has come: we've been told to get the apartment clean and ready for "British Adam", scheduled to arrive in a few weeks. I did a background check on him and I'm so far not impressed. I had done a background check on my roommate Will before I moved in and I think I got it wrong because I came up with some guy in Kansas who participates in hunting competitions and I'm pretty sure that that's wrong... Will told me last night that he was heading to the mountainous wilderness today to indulge in some legal Japanese hallucinogens - doesn't sound like the same character to me.

Sometimes I complain to my students about the foods I miss from home. On Monday I was complaining in voice about how I can't find any whole wheat bread in Osaka. Tuesday, a very pleasant student named Hisako showed up with a gift for me: a loaf of whole wheat bread that she had purchased from an international grocery store in Umeda. The students here are really generous. We (the teachers and staff collectively) often get gifts like chocolates or candies - often enough that we have an area of the table where we just put the gifts to share and everyone eats them without question. One time a student brought in nachos and salsa... very delicious. I find that students are especially generous when I complain. Once when I was complaining about the cold, a student brought me a "magic heating pouch" to keep me warm. After talking endlessly about the variety of foods that I like, one of my students went through the trouble of getting me a map to a "delicious Thai restaurant" (unforunately I lost the map). Anyway, I'm going to try to keep up with the complaining. It's a little upsetting, though, that they seem to remember a lot about me and what I have told them in the past, while I struggle to even remember most of their names. Maybe I should start keeping files on everyone I meet again...

February in Osaka

2006-02-07T13:52:00.000+09:00

Feeling restless, last night I decided to go jogging. I jogged down to the riverside for the first time, it was pretty nice and I'd like to check it out during the day. I remember seeing people living in little shacks on the other side of the river the night I got lost there on my bike, so I kind of kept my distance, but I think it will be a fun place to go in the summertime.

I stopped off at the grocery store on my way home to buy some breakfast pizza toast, and when I got home, I realized I'd forgotten to bring my key again. It's strange... you'd think that in such a big building as mine, you'd have people coming in and out every five or ten minutes any time during the day or night, but try getting yourself locked out at 1am on a weekday night and you can easily expect an hour's wait.

So today I hid a secret key outside. I taped it to the bottom of something. I'm not going to tell you where because I have the sneaking suspicion that this is unfortunately being read by a number of people in the Osaka area.

Last week I met up with Megumi, my first language exchange partner, and she's now gone back to Australia for her last semester of university. She showed me around Ibaraki (the "town" where I work) which was nice because it turns out there's a gigantic shopping centre called Mycal with a huge cineplex, which should come in handy. We also happened upon a pet store that was selling goats. Young goats with horns. One was tied outside and was selling for about $800 and I took a small photo-shoot of it.

I also met up with Masa, my second language exchange partner. He called me and asked if I want to meet up Saturday night at 10:30pm, and emphasized the Saturday a few times to drill it into my head. I messaged him back and asked if I could bring a friend Saturday night. Then I got a call Thursday night at 10:30pm asking me where I was. I think he was a little embarassed to tell me that he doesn't know his days of the week in English very well. This could become very difficult for future meetings. Anyway, we met up and went to an izakaya where he ordered beer and a big bowl of raw podded beans.

Although Groundhog Day went completely unnoticed here (except for when I tried to explain what it was - though I'm not sure of the technicalities myself), the Japanese have their own special day on February 3rd, Setsuban. I've had about ten students try to explain to me what, exactly, Setsuban consists of, and here's what I've managed to piece together: Old Japanese men (possibly grandfathers) dress up like little ogres. They hop around while young people throw beans at them. Some have told me that the young people will shout "Demons be gone!" and by throwing beans out your door you can yell "Good luck come in!". I've also heard accounts of having to eat a number of beans equal to - and only equal to - your age. This was all I was told beforehand. But then on Friday, when Setsuban was taking place, one of my students came in with MASSIVE sushi rolls (bigger than my arm) and says they're another key part of the tradition. Needless to say, I was too confused to partake in any of it. I asked my students where I could find a retirement home that had old people to throw beans at but they advised me against it.

Friday night I went to the going-away party for my Italian friend (who has now moved back to Italy). Since I had to work that night I was only able to come for about an hour before having to go home on the last train, but it was at an Italian restaurant with an open bar and one pizza per person, so I consumed what I could in that window of time. The party was a lot of fun, it was mostly Japanese people so I had a chance to practice the little bits of Japanese I've been studying over the past couple of weeks. While talking to them, I heard murmurs of "Harry Potter!" among them, and when confronted they admitted that I look like Harry Potter to them. Sweet... I think I've made some more Japanese friends since a bunch of them asked me to "become friends with them" and one invited me to his birthday party Sunday night.

Early Saturday morning I left again to go up north to Shiga, where I had another "Shiga Friendship Meeting" (the English conversation group). I was tired, but not quite as tired as last time and it went over fairly well. Unforunately they said they will not be having another meeting until at least the end of March, so I'm in the market to pick up some new on-the-side work.

After the Shiga Friendship Meeting, some of the participants took Tim, Steve and I out for lunch to a really nice Japanese place. It was one of those ones where each table has their own room with sliding doors, the walls are made of paper, the table's really low and there are no chairs, just cushions on the floor. A lot of the food was pretty scary, but it was still a nice experience with some really great people. I love when the bill comes and someone else jumps to take it. I argue for a minute that I want to pay for myself, but secretly, I really, really don't.

Saturday afternoon I had a business meeting with American Steve. Yes, we're planning on starting a small business together here. We want to find a Japanese business partner, so we're currently in a search. Maybe we can have an Apprentice-style elimination contest...

Sunday night I went to this Japanese guy's birthday party. It's funny, I had prepped myself up for a big Japanese night with lots of "lost in translation" jokes and cross-cultural misunderstandings, then I arrived and it was all foreigners. The three Japanese people I had met on Friday were the only ones there and the rest were all from places like Australia, UK, Spain, Italy, Russia... We went to an izakaya and a lot of the conversation was in Japanese, but it was another great time. The three Japanese invited me to go see the movie "Munich" with them, has anyone seen it?

Remember my roommate Chris. Well I don't know if I mentioned this to you, but despite being on the same work schedule, I rarely saw him. Anyway, I was under the impression that he was moving back to Canada this week. So worried that it was Monday morning, I went to his room Sunday night to say goodbye. I looked in and it was completely empty. Actually, Will was there, moving in his stuff. I asked him where Chris was, he said he already left last week. Hahaha. Anyway, losing a roommate is a great opportunity to try to clean up a little bit. I've decided to push finding a new apartment off to when I have a little bit more money since I'll have to put a month's rent down right away, so it might be a while. Will and I went through the bathroom and threw out whatever wasn't either of our's from the sink area, and there were some dusty objects that have likely been there through the past 5-6 roommates. Also, it turned out that Chris's closet was jam-packed with old futons and blankets from about a dozen past roommates, so until we get word of a new roommate moving in we're going to try to convert Will's old room into a guest room.

This picture is of a Japanese-style hillside graveyard with Kyoto city in the backdrop:

"Well somebody's got a case of the Mondays"

2006-01-31T00:53:00.000+09:00

Ok, a quick update...

Friday night I went to a bar in Kyoto with the Jets. It was good fun, but i MAY have had too much to drink again. We met some people who took us for breakfast in the old city. Kyoto's a really beautiful city, not at all like Osaka. We met some people living in Kyoto who took us to a restaurant with breakfast, which was good.

Saturday, Steve and I went to see Oliver Twist in Namba. I didn't like it and am starting to think I might hate all British orphans. In fact, despite the $15 admission fee, I convinced Steve to leave mid-way through with me to go across the street and eat chili cheese fries at Wendy's. That's right, I found a Wendy's in Osaka. It's not quite like back home, they don't even have JBCBs(Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers), but hey, it's still Wendy's.

And then, suddenly, my weekend was over. I had agreed to work Lee (from work)'s all-day Sunday shift. It was exhausting. After work I went for steak dinner with my co-workers. The "German Bar" in the train station was having a sale on steak: just 630 yen. But with steak came two beers and a chocolate sundae and I regretted going... money is getting very tight and pay-day is more than two weeks away!! I can't wait to be off "probation" and actually get the chance to save some cash. Well, at least I'm learning...

All last week I watched the movie X-Men during breakfast and finished it on Friday. I had bought the video a while ago for $3. Saturday I found X-Men 2 also for $3 and have started watching it today. Did you know that the third X-Men movie is coming out in May? I can't wait. Would you like me to keep talking about this?

For the past couple of days at school, I've been growing tired of the "lessons" and have started playing a game with the students. I tell them four things about myself, one of which is a lie. They have to formulate questions about my statements and in the end have to guess which one is a lie. My standard truths are usually:
1) I have acted in three movies: a Canadian movie, an American movie and a Japanese movie.
2) Japan is the 26th country I've visited.
3) I weighed 120 kg when I was a teenager.
They usually find them all equally unbelievable, so I usually throw in a lie that would be really hard to disprove, like "I am a certified scuba-diver", "I visited the Middle East with my family" or "My mother was born in Switzerland". I have been asked to say something in Swiss, at which point I just say some gibberish. One time they asked me to give them my favorite memory from Egypt and I told a vividly beautiful story about the Pyramids at Giza at sunrise, but they didn't buy it. Sometimes the students just don't get the concept altogether and ask me questions like "What is your favorite movie?" But usually it goes over pretty well and the students are divided among guessing that each of the three truths are the lie.

Ok, I'm going home to bed. Happy 24th Birthday Aaron Woodyear (I'm going to keep up with that whenever I can remember). I'm going to leave you with a restaurant sign from Dotonburi...

2006-01-27T15:02:00.000+09:00

"Zoe's Birthday"

Wednesday night there were celebrations for Zoe's birthday. Zoe's the British girl from orientation. About fifteen of us went to a 280 bar and later to karaoke. This was my first time in karaoke in Japan and I should say that I'm disappointed in both the price and my singing. Karaoke's probably the most popular entertainment activity in Japan, though I've decided that if I do it again, I'd much rather do it with Japanese people (rather than British people) who I might be able to convince that "this is how the song is supposed to sound".

After growing tired of the karaoke room, Mark and I decided to explore the enormous karaoke building and made our way up through dark floors of rooms that weren't being used. It was kind of like being in an abandoned castle that has Ferrari- and soccer-themed rooms. We made our way up to exploring the attic and actually found our way onto the roof, which was pretty exciting.

"Run-in With the Law"

A funny thing happened on my bikeride to the train station yesterday. As I weaved through the narrow streets near the train tracks, a man in some kind of official-looking jacket began biking alongside me and starting telling me to do something in Japanese. I didn't know what he was saying, but it was pretty obvious that he wanted me to pull over.

I had been advised that, when dealing with the authority here, it's much easier to just pretend you speak absolutely no Japanese than to try to work things out since htey'll usually just give up, but he and I stopped and explained that I couldn't speak Japanese. He continued to interrogate me in Japanese, but I just kept the puzzled look on my face and replied in quick, confused-sounding English.

He then pulled out a police badge and asked me for my passport. I patted my pockets with a look on my face saying "Ooh, sorry, I don't have it", and he nodded. "Gaijin Card!" he ordered. Apparently, at all times foreigners have to carry around with them either their passport or gaijin card (alien registration card) for curious policemen. I pulled out my gaijin card and showed it to him. He examined it closely, then his eyes lit up, "Nova!!" he exclaimed with a smile. I guess it says where I work on my card. He decided to let me go, but warned me to keep that card on me.

I later asked my students what all that was about, as in why would they just come up to me randomly while I was obviously on my way to work just to hassle me for identification. I didn't really get a straight answer, but they didn't seem to think that targeting foreigners for this type of ID-checking was anything unusual.

A similar thing happened to me back in Rome in the summer. Sarah and I were meeting with a group of backpackers and some guides to go on an evening tour and pub crawl and met by some fountain. There was a couple standing nearby who I noticed were staring at us suspiciously. They started to walk away, but then threw on police vests and jogged over to us. They asked to see all of our ID and when they found out that our American guides were in charge, they threw them in a police car and drove away. There were people from across the fountain laughing and filiming us with video cameras. So there we were, about 15 backpackers from around the world, just standing there, not understanding what was going on and waiting for them to bring our guides back. After about ten minutes we gave up and just raided a liquor store and went to drink in Campo di Fiori square and it ended up being one of the most fun nights of the trip. This story has gotten way off-topic.

"Water Troubles"

Today, in the middle of my afternoon shower, with my hair full of conditioner, the water just stopped. We had been getting notices for a number of weeks with the date 1/27 on it, but couldn't figure out what it meant. But I think I figured it out... it was "no water" day. So I made my way to the sinks and was able to use the remnants in the tap to rinse out my hair. But it was still annoying. Since I didn't have the chance to shave, today's going to be my first day without, as Nova calls it, "excellent appearance".

"Let's Misuse English Words"

***Japan Topics***
TOPIC #2: The word "let's"

Since I arrived here, I've noticed one main things with the English of advertising: the excessive use of the word "let's". You see, Japanese is full of little word-endings and gimmicks to make the phrase sound more polite. With English's lack of politeness, Japanese-speakers scramble to find words to make it all sound less confrontational. Here's where "let's" comes in.

In my first week here, I went to a restaurant. The waiter who sat me, struggling to put together a sentence in English, said: "Let's sit down!!" and motioned towards a table. "Let's!" I agreed, but he didn't come sit with me. Instead, he just kept working as if he'd never even made the offer.

But then I started hearing and seeing this word all over the place. The big photo machines at Yodobashi Camera, for example, have the big catch-phrase "Let's Photo!". I'm attaching a picture of a fun-sounding restaurant sign in Shinsaibashi:

Another word that seems to be overused is "corner". Back on my quest to find a towel in November, I was confused by having been directed by numerous storeclerks to go to "___ corner" (such as "second floor sporting goods corner") and find that the area that they described had nothing to do with a corner. I still haven't figured out if this is some kind of direct-translation issue.

Time for work again. It's Friday, but I'm not moving into much of a weekend... I've agreed to take Lee's all-day shift Sunday in exchange for him taking mine at the end of next month and a little extra cash. Talk to you soon,

Ryan

"Poker Night" or "Renoucning my Citizenship"

2006-01-25T15:30:00.000+09:00

Is it possible for me to cast my absentee ballot late? Why didn't any of you tell me there was a federal election looming?!! I leave the country for two months and this is what happens?!!

So last night I hosted a poker game at my place and it all went over fairly well. If you're wondering, I invited the Kyoto guy who posted a comment on my blog back in December, his name is Swedish Carl and he's a bit of a pro. Also in attendance were Canadian Justin, British Graham, American Frankie, and spectators Australian Mark and my roommate Will, all of whom you've met before. Four of the five guests attested to the fact that my apartment is horrible and I should move out as soon as possible. The other one lives in a dorm and thought my apartment was lovely.

Since I work until 9pm, the game didn't really start up until 11:30 or midnight, and it went through most of the night and the local 7/11 was blessed with periodic visits of foreigners purchasing alcohol. After Frankie and Graham were knocked out of the game, they left with Mark for a nearby bar called Fly Over which is supposed to be "good" (not really) on Tuesday nights. A little after 4am, Carl and I had both lost all of our chips to Justin and he pocketed the winnings of 7,000 yen ($70). I hate losing.

Justin, Carl and I set off to meet up with the others (the trains for them all to go home don't start up until 5:30am). Justin and I both made the claim that we were Geography Champions, so we held a competition along the way, but I clearly destroyed him. Yes, I know the capital of Turkmenistan, it's Ashgabat. When we arrived at the bar, they were just closing up and the others had drunkenly wandered off somewhere. We met up a little bit later near the rail tunnels of Shinosaka and all made our way to Nishinakajimaminamikata (the next neighbourhood over) where I claimed that there would be some izakayas (Japanese-style bars). I was wrong, but we found a vending maching restaurant where we ordered some food.

By vending machine restaurants, I mean restaurants where you walk in and instead of waiters, they just have big machines with buttons. You insert your money into the machine and it prints you out a ticket, you give that ticket to the chefs and they cook and deliver your food. It's clearly a much better system than having to make small-talk to anyone. They're absurdly popular here with businessmen.

At 6am they all went home, and so did I. When I woke up today, I jumped out of bed, thinking I was somehow late for work since I forgot to set my alarm. But no, work starts at 5pm and it's kind of impossible to be late by oversleeping. But it's time for work now, so I'll continue this later.

Two Months in Japan II: Apartment-Hunting?

2006-01-22T22:31:00.000+09:00

Sorry about last post's abrupt end (though looking back on it I guess it was quite the cliff-hanger).

That afternoon I was meeting up with a German girl who I met at the hostel in Tokyo who is studying in Kyoto. She sent me a text message the night before saying she was coming into Osaka for the afternoon and asked if I wanted to meet up for coffee, so she came to meet me at the Apple Store (the computer company - they have computers with free internet) and we walked into America Mura (the American youth district - no actual Americans, just Japanese people with dreadlocks wearing t-shirts that say things like "Mother Africa" and trendy shops selling used American clothing from the early 90s). Amemura is great, lively any time of day.

So a couple of hours later I headed up to work, then after work headed north to Shiga prefecture. My friend Steve was able to get me in on a great "gig": one hour of English conversation at a community centre in Shiga for $100. REALLY necessary for a part-time worker like me to escape starvation. There was only one catch: it was at 9:30am on a Saturday morning. So I had to camp out in his apartment the night before.

The conversation thing was pretty good. There were four of us, American Steve, American Tim, Irish Therese and me, and about 17 Japanese people. The people in more rural areas like this are really appreciative to be able to speak English with locals. It all went fairly smoothly in my group since I'm now pretty used to making conversation with Japanese people after all the Voice classes I've had to lead. I really hope they invite me back to do this in future weekends (it's a regular event, at least once a month I think) because it's great money and pretty easy.

Therese demonstrated (and had them practice) some series of Irish dancing moves which earned her a fair amount of applause. She went north to go skiing afterwards, but Tim, Steve and I all went for revolving sushi.

Ok, I know you're wondering when I'm going to get back to finishing off last week's cliffhanger, so here goes:

I've decided I'm definitely moving (I've been more or less considering it since the day I arrived, but thought I'd wait it out a little bit). My house is a disgusting mess. I'm used to living in messy, "unsanitary" conditions, but this is just ridiculous. I can't cook a meal or touch the majority of things beyond my room without risking getting the plague. It's run down too, you can barely call it, as they say, "furnished", since of the appliances have probably been around since the 70s. Yes, the 70s, as in the decade before I was born. Thirdly, I'm being slightly shafted, as one of my roommates has a balcony-adjacent bedroom that is at least twice (probably three times) the side of mine, including numerous things such as a desk, two closets, a clothes rack, bookshelves. Mine barely has enough room for my futon (and no, as were promised to me, clothes racks - I'm hanging my shirts and suits on a piece of wood in my closet). Fourthly, my roommates have really gotten used to the atmosphere of living in the slums... they rarely wash dishes and have sometimes seem to forget the concept of where garbage is supposed to go. I think they might also have some fire safety issues, but that's another story.

Oh, and for all this I'm paying 58,000 yen per month. Someone in my neighbourhood told me they were paying 57,000 yen per month and showed me their apartment - it was only a bit smaller than ours but was all to herself.

Things are still not too bad, though, since I don't spend all that much time at home. It's kind of like staying in hostels while traveling - you just need somewhere to pass out after a long day of sightseeing and a long night of heavy drinking. But now that I've started becoming more frugal and would really like to start cooking and spending more time at home, I would really like somewhere safe and clean to do so.

But before I get to that, I'll tell you what I recently found out about my apartment last week (probably the thing that really got these new apartment plans in motion). I was complaining about it to a new person at work when my co-worker Janette (who has been here for a few years) said: "Oh, you live in Lions Mansion... you don't happen to live in that Nova apartment on the sixth floor, do you?"
"Why yes, I do," I replied, "Why?"
"Oh, God. Well... my friend was placed there a couple of years ago. He's a pretty dirty guy and the apartment was horrible disgusting back then..." And she basically described my apartment minus two years of absolutely no cleaning or hygiene. Hmm... No wonder I'm the fourth roommate in the past six months.

Will warned me about this ahead of time, though, saying that he and Chris are just really relaxed when it comes to being clean. So nothing against them at all, they're overall really great roommates and I'm a bit worried of what my new ones are going to be like.

That brings me onto the next matter: where I'm going to live. I can call Nova and tell them to just reassign me to a new apartment and I think it can all be done pretty easily. I like my area so I might request to stay here, unless I could get something even more convenient like Umeda.

Another idea is just to give Nova my month's notice and get my own apartment with a private landlord, though that's all a little complicated in Japan. On the plus side, a regular apartment would be much cheaper (Nova ups the rent by something like 33%). But on the negative side, there's the whole "dealing with a Japanese landlord" thing. And this is much worse than it sounds. For example, it's customary to pay something called "key money" in Japan. Key Money is a gift of something like 3-6 months worth of rent to your landlord when you move in. So that's something like $1800 easily the day you move in. And it's not like this is some kind of deposit or something credited towards your future rent payments, this is just a "gift" that you have to give you your landlord to thank them for letting you be a tenant in their apartment building. There are more complications, too, that's just the scariest part.

So one consideration I've been taking into mind about my new apartment's location is the gym. I need to join a gym and don't know where to sign up since I might possible be moving. Gyms in Japan have an annoying tendency to all operate on their own, meaning that if I signed up with one, even though it's a big chain company, I would still not be a member at their other locations around town. Someone told me today that books have been written saying that Japan is regarded as a great place for entrepreneurs because of all of these types of inefficiencies still lurking about. This could be an interesting topic if I end up doing a Monbukagakusho research thesis here, but that's another topic to be covered later.

I've been checking out gyms around town and was going to hold a "readers' poll" this post so that you could get involved and vote on which gym I should join (they're pretty much all the same price but have different advantages). But I want to wait until I find out more about where I'll be moving.

I have to go to bed.

Two Months in Japan

2006-01-20T14:15:00.000+09:00

I'm supposed to meet someone across the street in two minutes, so this update has to be quick.

It's official: I've been here for over two months. As I've explained before, time passes really slowly here, so it feels like I've been here a really long time, but in a nother sense it feels like I just arrived. I celebrated yesterday by cooking for the first time. I can't believe I haven't cooked in my entire two months here. I cooked a HUGE feast: Chicken nuggets, thai chili sauce, rice, spinach and orange juice. Chicken nuggetes take too long to cook, so I just ate my my spinach by hand from the bag while I was waiting. Actually, it wasn't much of a sit-down meal now that I think about it.

I also realized something else that I haven't done since I arrived: finished unpacking. Yeah, one of my suitcases is still about half-full with crap that I shouldn't have brought (clothes that I don't wear, books that I don't want, addresses of people I don't want to write to). So maybe I should just not bother unpacking it and just leave it all in there, nicely folded up for the trip home next fall.

The other night I ate a cactus taco at the taco stand in Juso (run by a woman who immigrated from Mexico 25 years ago). She suggested the cactus taco to me and it was actually a good change of pace, though it basically just felt like chewing rubber.

So I've decided that I'm definitely moving out. I haven't been able to decide where to go, though. Not only is my apartment a dirty shithole, but I recently found out that it has... whoa, I have to go, the person I was supposed to meet just walked in, I'll finish this later!

Ryan

Some December Pictures!

2006-01-18T00:50:00.000+09:00

Here are a few pictures from December including Osaka, Kyoto and Kobe!

Here are some pictures from December, descriptions go:
AB
CD
EF
GH

A) Night-time bustle in Shinsaibashi/Namba
B) Saturday on a Crowded Osaka train
C) Old-style Street-side Buildings in Kyoto
D) Kiyomizu Temple in Kyoto
E) Christmas in Kobe
F) Luminarie Festival in Kobe
G) Lazy Monk Collects Coins on Bridge
H) Ever wonder what that cool foreign-language shirt of yours actually says?

Late this Week

2006-01-15T23:36:00.000+09:00

Wednesday I had my "follow-up training" with Nova. This means I had to go to a more central branch in Umeda for the day for some group learning. A group of seven of us (the only one I knew, though, was Mark) reviewed some of what we had learned in our Orientation week and refined our teaching skills. Unlike our original training, this was actually a lot of fun.

In our original training, they had gotten us to go through lessons with each other, pretending we were students. At the time, this was nerve-wracking, since none of us had really taught before and had little experience in bullshitting our way through an enthusiastic lesson about "Giving Directions" or "Asking for Permission".

By this point, however, we've all had enough experience to be able to sit back and let it flow a little. Also, we had the opportunity to act as students. This allowed us to perform all the characteristically 'interesting' actions that our Japanese students will do. For example, when being asked a question, getting a really nervous expression, looking from side to side, then pointing at yourself with both hands and asking "ME??!" - even while being the only student in the classroom. It's all kind of funny because everyone has seen these things.

On a sidenote, some topic's in class always get the same reaction. For example, a common question that comes up is "What are your hobbies?". Although a few students will respond with something interesting or outlandish like "Hang-gliding", about 98% will answer a combination of the following items: Studying English, Driving, Shopping and Singing Karaoke. I was surprised to find out that for most people, studying at Nova is their hobby.

Back to Wednesday, the training session started and ended a few hours earlier than my usual shift, so I was down in Umeda during the last bit of daylight hours. I decided to explore a new area of town that I had never seen (in hopes of stumbling upon tacos), and headed southeast. I didn't find a Mexican restaurant, but ended up getting lured into a Tahitian restaurant that served something with "taco" in the name (though it ended up being little wrapped clumps of vegetable with a little bowl of salsa). The restaurant was pretty interesting, though, it had kind of a beer hall atmosphere and palm trees. Also, there was a waitress from the United States who spoke perfect English. I will probably not go back there.

That night I did find something exciting, however. Have I ever told you about the grocery store near my house? No, not Max-valu, a closer yellow one. Well, I found out that right around the corner from that, there's a much better grocery store. It looks kind of like a small "Superstore" from home and is now my favorite place to buy my three grocery items: bread, peanut butter and orange juice.

Thursday night played poker at my co-worker Frankie's apartment. It went swimmingly as always and I left the next morning as the big winner. They were a fun group of people to play poker with, so I guess I now have a fairly extensive list of people I can invite if I host a game.

My weekend generally starts on Fridays at 9pm, though not this week. I had agreed to take over Frankie's shift since Friday was his 25th birthday and he would need Saturday to recover. We agreed to a "shift swap", meaning he will work for me on March 1st and will pay me some extra cash since my shifts are only four hours and his was eight. A lot of people want to do shift swaps with me since I have the coveted Saturday-Sunday weekend (most people have obscure ones like Monday-Tuesday or Tuesday-Wednesday). I have already signed into three agreements and am trying to build up the entire week off around the end of February and beginning of March so that I can do something exciting that I can look forward to through the winter.

So I did my first eight-hour shift yesterday and it was a little exhausting, but not unmanageable. I had a break right in the middle, which kind of made it feel instead like two separate days of work. The only thing I didn't like, though, was having to come in at the ungodly hour of 11am.

In voice, one of my students outlined for me something interesting about Japanese popular culture: skin colour. We discussed the concepts of parasols, staying out of the sun and skin-whitener. She said that the Japanese consider it to be feminine to have white skin and to be masculine to have dark skin. She topped it off with the quote: "I don't like a man who is whiter than me." But then thinking she offended me, quickly added, "But for foreigners it's ok."

Early this Week

2006-01-13T15:53:00.000+09:00

It's Friday and it's been a pretty good week, but it's not over yet. More on that later.

Last weekend I went to visit American Steve (one of the Jet teachers) in a small town in Shiga prefecture, about an hour north of us. I couldn't believe how much the climate changed in that hour, though. After passing a late-autumn-looking Kyoto, the train went through a mountain and emerged on the other side in some kind of winter wonderland. In Steve's town, there was a couple of feet of fresh snow on the ground, it was great and has made me want to go skiing.

We ate at a revolving sushi restaurant. By this, I mean that the cooks just prepare sushi, put it on a coveyor belt that goes around the restaurant, and customers just grab whatever they want and eat it. Each plate is a different size or colour to indicate the item's cost, so at the end of your meal, the waitress just adds up the amount of plates you used and charges you correspondingly. It's delicious and great to be able to actually see your food before you buy it (and come on, the world needs more conveyor belts...)

Monday I was approached by, Kimiko, one of the Japanese staff members at work. She asked me if I would like to have a "shift slide" at the end of the month where, instead of working my regular 5-9pm shift, I work 10am-2pm. I told her no thanks. She looked confused. So I explained to her a bit about sleeping patterns and that was like me asking her to come in at 3am instead of her regular 10am shift. She turned around and went back to talk to her manager. Frankie, my co-worker, came over to me and told me that no one EVER says no to them like that. I was a little bit worried, but she came back in and said that she was going to ask Lee instead. Sweet, I have asserted my dominance.

Tuesday evening I went to a Media (internet) Cafe in Juso. After a couple of hours on the computer, it struck me: I had forgotten to bring my cash. Furthermore, the staff doesn't speak any English, so I had no way to even explain to them that I didn't have the money to pay. So after a little bit of thinking (and a little bit of considering to just run out of there and never come back), I opened up an online English-Japanese web translator. I don't know if you've ever used these things, but they're pretty horrible. They don't translate directly, word-for-word, but unless you have a good grasp on the language you're translating into (meaning, how to structure your English so that it makes a bit of sense), it comes out as some kind of rough gibberish. So I typed in...
"I have no wallet. I return with money."
...hoping that this would be simple enough to translate without major errors. I grabbed one of the staff members pulled him over to my computer. He seemed to understand. He typed something in, translated it and it said...
"But, leaving status for, isn't that so?"
...I just kind of smiled and nodded as I usually do, gave him my phone to hold as collateral, and biked home to get some money. Everything worked out, but I think I figured out what he meant afterwards. He was trying to tell me that I can leave, but the computer timer will be left running.

Ok, I'm on the verge of running late for work, so I'll contine later on. Have a great weekend,

Ryan

Still no Tokyo

2006-01-11T01:00:00.000+09:00

Hey, whoa, sorry about the lack of posts. But don't say I didn't warn you about January already. Actually, I started trying to sum up Tokyo, but it wasn't working very well (a lot of "and then we went here... and then we went here...") so I decided to instead just upload all my pictures instead. I have them all up online in a photo album (there are a lot, I should warn you) so I'm going to caption them and then post the link.

Meanwhile, things have gone back to normal this week. Teaching is getting easier and easier, I think I'm becoming better at it too. Ok, I know this is a relatively short update, so I'm going to launch a new segment of my blog before I go home to bed. It's called... ***Japan Topics***. ***Japan Topics*** will just describe the way things are in this country, one topic at a time, for things that don't fit into my day-to-day regular blogging segment.

***Japan Topics***
TOPIC #1: TOILETS

Since I'm rarely at home here and often on the move, I've had the thrilling opportunity to experience a vast number of washrooms. One way or another, toilets in Japan are hilarious. There are two main types.

The first one you may encounter is the Asian-style toilet. This is a disgusting, primative model that you'd probably not even recognize as a toilet back in Canada. It's built into the floor and is often surrounded by some kind of disgustingness. It has nowhere to sit, you're just supposed to somehow squat over it while you go about your business. I don't recommend it.

What I do recommend, however, is the other kind. For example, here in the internet cafe, I know that I can get up, walk into the bathroom and find the second type, which I will label the Toilet of the Future (trust me, they'll exist in your country in a few years). It looks like a regular Western-style toilet, but bigger and more gadgety (there's a little control board at the side). As you walk into the stall, the toilet senses you and the lid lifts up on its own. The control switchboard has various options, such as making the sound of rushing water (so that others can't hear you using the washroom). It also has functions to wash you afterwards, with varying types of spray and intensity. When you get up to leave, you really don't need to do anything. You just walk away, it flushes itself and closes the lid again. Oh, and the best part? Heated seats.

So walking into a public washroom stall in Japan, there's always a bit of excited anticipation as you wonder which extreme you're going to have to face. One thing is always for sure, though: it won't be a boring ride.

Pre-Tokyo - New Years Break 2005

2006-01-05T21:22:00.000+09:00

Whoever told me that it would only snow in Osaka once over the winter was outright lying. It's freezing here tonight, 0 degrees right now, probably the coldest I remember feeling here. I know you're sitting there, scoffing at the fact that I'm complaining about 0 degrees when Canada is something like -46 degrees, but it's different here. Central heating apparently doesn't exist and I can feel the cold air coming through my thin window at night. Also, I still need to buy a jacket. This isn't what I expected, temperature-wise. You're probably going to hear me talk about this a lot over the next month as it gets colder, so brace yourself. Anyway, I have a lot to update you on and not a lot of time, so I'll get to that straight away.

I finished work last Tuesday, marking the beginning of New Years vacation. New Years is the big family holiday in Japan, like us and Christmas, so students probably wouldn't be coming to Nova anyway, so the whole company shuts down for a week. As I mentioned, I decided to go to Tokyo.

Actually, a lot of people went to Tokyo for New Years. It wasn't too bad since apparently a lot of the traffic is going in the other direction around New Years since people working there escape to their hometowns to be with their families. Also, everything kind of shuts down in Japan for the New Years era so Tokyo was kind of the best place to be in terms of things being open.

So Tuesday night, both of my roommates left for Tokyo (taking an overnight bus). It was great to have them gone and I decided to devote Wednesday to trying to clean up their filth around the apartment.

It wasn't easy. Wednesday came around and I worked solidly for a good few hours. I cleaned the living room by separating the garbage from the VHS tapes and vacuuming. They had been considerate enough to leave a sink full of not only their dirty dishes, but also the remnants of their last few meals, which was really nice to clean out. While trying to clean the sink, I found a little basket in the drain that was full of rotting little morsels of damp food that has been collecting for... I don't know, months? Years? I cleaned out some of the kitchen drawers and started to clean the stove, but one of the elements started shooting out sparks when I touched it with a cloth, so I decided to back away and write that area off. I also brought down seven or eight bags of garbage to the garbage chute. The garbage (almost exclusively provided by my roommates) had been piled up over the garbage can and flowed onto the floor. Yeah, our kitchen was really exciting.

Wednesday night I met up with Mark in Shinsaibashi for a bar that he had found, selling 200 yen ($2) drinks, which is shockingly low for Osaka. Afterwards we went and played darts with some locals in Balabushka's, I'm definitely not getting any better at this game. I ended up leaving to catch the last train home, but then biked back down. Mark and I literally bumped into a Japanese guy named Takashi on the street. He started talking to us and then took us to an izakaya (Japanese-style bar) and ended up footing the entire 3600 yen bill. His English wasn't very good, but he was really funny and made it clear that he wanted us to attend a party of his the following night, so we agreed to meet him the following evening at 7:30pm.

Thursday I bought my shinkansen (bullet train) ticket with Catherine, a girl from New Glasgow (Nova Scotia) who I had met Christmas Eve. Catherine and I were leaving for Tokyo the following day.

That evening, Takashi, Mark and I met up in the Umeda train station, where Takashi vaguely explained that we had to go buy 500 yen ($5) presents for other people at the party. We bought our little gifts and went to meet up with his friends. His friends could speak even less English and he didn't introduce us, just kind of motioned for us to go with them (three Japanese girls) and ran off in another direction. Through a lot of hand motions and repeated words, we learned from them that Takashi was helping to organize this end-of-year party at a Chinese restaurant for the hospital in which he works. We waited for about half an hour by the JR station before we got a call from Takashi saying the restaurant was ready.

We (the 5 of us and two other friends of Takashi) were the last table of people to arrive in the restaurant and were off to the side from the rest of them, who apparently all worked for the hospital. We paid something like $35 to sit down, which was a little alarming at first, but we got a lot of good Chinese food and unlimited beer.

A lot of things happened throughout the meal that we didn't understand. Mark and I knew that we were introduced as special guests, but didn't really understand what they were saying. Later on there was a big powerpoint trivia contest and one of the questions was about where Mark and I came from. I kind of cheated during the trivia by looking at other people's answers and my group ended up tying for first place, so to settle it we had a "Janken" (Japanese Rock-Paper-Scissors) match to settle it. I'm used to be really good at Rock-Paper-Scissors (seriously, predicting what people were going to choose used to be a talent of mine) but since I've come to Japan I've been thrown off and I lost really horribly. My group was very disappointed in me.

But, like I said, lots of weird things were going on that we didn't understand. They had everyone write down characters on pieces of paper, which were thrown into a plastic bag and never heard of again. I heard murmurings from the rest of our table about Elijah Wood and Anakin Skywalker - they were discussing who we looked like, I've gotten Elijah Wood from Japanese people before so I knew they meant me and Anakin for Mark. I replied "Lordo of the Ringsu Furodo" to which they clapped. Why do I get the loser character? Suddenly, the lights went out and really poppy music started playing. Takashi and a couple of other guys came out in monkey suits and started dancing. People clapped and they danced for song after song. The party-goers were loving it and they had obviously spent a good amount of time choreographing these elaborate dances. It was really great.

After the restaurant, everyone else headed to a club but I had to catch the train home, I had to get ready for Tokyo.

2005-12-29T19:10:00.000+09:00

QUICK UPDATE - NEW YEAR'S PREVIEW

Ok, I'm officially on my New Year's break. As Nova employees, this is the only holiday we get for the year, so I started panicking a little on Monday, wanting to go somewhere interesting for it. I went to a travel agency, but flight prices are REALLY inflated at this time of year, so I ended up just buying a train ticket to Tokyo and am excited to be spending New Year's there. Tokyo will be insane... it's the largest city in the world and the centre of almost everything in Japan. I booked three nights in a hostel with Catherine, the girl I met from Nova Scotia and we just bought our shinkansen tickets.

The Shinkansen (Japanese Bullet Train) alone is something that I've been excited for since before I left Canada. It's probably the fastest, most efficient form of ground transportation and can get me from Osaka to Tokyo in just 2.5 hours (it would otherwise take over 10, I hear).

Anyway, I have some packing to do, I'll fill you in on my trip later. Talk to you soon and have a great New Year's.

Ryan

2005-12-27T01:55:00.000+09:00

Boxing Day Bonanza Post

Ok, I just wrote a really long account of Thrusday, Friday and Saturday and then somehow deleted it all, so I'm getting tired and am just going to rush my way through it.

Sorry it's taken so long for this update. I know you've all been sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for the past six days, but get used to it. I figure I've spent over $100 on night-time internet over the past week, mostly catching up with people, sending some Christmas e-mails, etc. But January is going to see a frugal version of me of the likes that none of you have ever seen. I'm just telling you, be ready for it.

So Thursday morning I woke up and checked outside to see how cold it was. It was pretty cold, sub-zero. Peeking over the ledge, I saw that someone had strewn white paint across the the thin strip of grass behind my apartment. Wait, the stuff was all over the place... across the railroad tracks. I remember thinking how disappointed I was in Japan that an efficient group of workers hadn't been by yet to clean it up, but that's when I realized... SNOW!!!

It was already December 22nd and I thought I wouldn't see it before Christmas, but there it was. There wasn't much of it, mind you, but still, it was there. I yelled out "Snow!!!" and rushed back into the apartment and out onto the front balcony. Some kids below were playing, struggling to make little snowballs from some snow that had collected in a potted plant. It was both a sad (in the pathetic sense) and happy sight at the same time.

On my way to work, I had the pleasure of witnessing a great Japanese snow-removal technique. You see, in Canada, the fools we are, we use salt and sand to keep snow away in sub-zero temperatures. The Japanese have found a more immediate solution to the problem, though: water. They were just out there, pouring it on the street and sidewalk in front of their businesses, it was pretty funny. I guess it doesn't get cold enough here usually for them to know any better.

Actually, before I'd come to Osaka I was told that it might snow here once in the course of the year, and that that would probably be in February, the coldest month. But people are saying that this is the coldest winter in decades (Ooh, Global Warming!!, you all whine, just like whenever anyone mentions anything mildly unusual about the weather). Anyway, it has felt kind of cold, but nothing like back home. But this is just the beginning of the winter, I don't really know what I have in store. Probably not much, though.

Thursday night I played poker at Justin's place with him, his Scottish roommate, Keith, and his roommate's friend, Andrew, who is apparently visiting for 6 weeks. There were also another five or so people there, their little group of friends, though they were all just drinking on the nearby floor. Justin had been talking himself up for days, saying that he was about as close to being a poker professional as he could be without actually being one, and the others there seemed to agree. Apparently, they'd played a number of times and every time Justin had left as the big winner.

I gave a long account of what happened in my post that was deleted, but it's probably better that I don't bore you with that and just give you the details. I cleaned everyone out. Both Justin and Andrew bought back in again, but by the end of the night I'd collected the entire 5,000 yen that they had been willing to contribute. Justin made excuses about getting bad cards and me getting good cards (I don't think that happened, but agreed with everything he said), but people making up excuses always leads to a more satisfying win than if they congratulate you and be sportsman-like about it. The others were happy too since they had been unable to beat him and really dug into his wounded ego. Actually, these people were a lot of fun, I hope they invite me to play again.

I told some people about my poker game and others have expressed an interest in me hosting a game at my place sometime soon. I don't have a poker set, but my roommates both want to play as well as a guy from work, so I'll probably try to organize that in January when I'm running low on money again.

I had stayed out all night playing poker and hanging around with those people since the trains don't start running until after 5am. They invited me out to Namba but I had to get home to bed, I was working at 5pm, or so I thought.

I got home around 6:30am and realized that it was the 23rd. I had that date flagged in my mind for some reason. I checked the schedule on my phone and it was flagged there too. I checked why, and it read "Work: 10am." Wow, great. My first *shift slide* (as Nova calls it when they shove a paper in front of you and make you sign it, saying they're changing one of your shifts) and here I am three hours before, not having slept yet and still wearing off an alcohol buzz. So I got ready for bed, set my alarm for 7:30am, and laid there for about 16 minutes until it went off.

I made it into work for 9:30am, pretty proud that I wasn't yet feeling like I was going to collapse. Kimiko and Janette seemed to just be opening the place up. Janette asked me why I had come so early, I told her that I was working at 10am. She said no I wasn't. I went to check the day's schedule, and apparently they had given me another *shift slide* a couple of days ago and I'd somehow forgotten to change the time in my phone. So I was now working at 3pm and had wasted a good four hours of sleep time. So I hurried home.

Saturday I spent most of the day walking around. It was Christmas Eve, though it didn't really feel like it. I visited Amerika Mura, which I love. Amerika Mura, if you can't remember, is the area of Shinsaibashi where the youth attempt to imitate American culture. There are tons of little clothing shops selling used and new stylish American clothing and other goods, often from the early nineties, that paints a really nice picture of American culture. After visiting this area I really don't think anyone can make the claim of America being "cultureless". The shops everywhere are blasting great music, there are kids doing skateboarding tricks on a little triangle in the centre of the area, breakdancers around the big metal ball in the south, and Japanese rastafarians wearing t-shirts that give reference to their roots in "Mother Africa". There's a Statue of Liberty on one of the nearby buildings and a big Hollywood-themed restaurant which sells autographs of celebrities, but the whole area seems really uncontrived and unplanned, it's really great.

That night, I wasn't sure what to do. I ended up, at the last minute, agreeing to go to a club called Underlounge with Davide, his Italian friend Gianpaulo and a couple of their Japanese friends and it was a pretty fun night. I've never been out on Christmas Eve, but people are in a really festive mood and some groups of Japanese people come in costume (??). We stayed until closing at 5am and headed out to get something to eat.

After getting home Christmas morning, showering and putting some clothes in the laundry, it was already noon and I was just going to bed. My parents called me around 12:30pm to wish me a Merry Christmas. I was really tired and probably very rude, so big apologies to Mom, Dad, Sean, and whoever else may have been offended by that phone call.

Anyway, I slept the rest of Christmas day. That evening I woke up to go to dinner with Justin, Jacquie and their group. We met in Shinsaibashi around 10pm and had a nice Mexican dinner at El Pancho. I met Jacquie's roommate, a girl who's name has slipped my mind, and at first I thought she had a British accent so I didn't bother talking to her, but she was sitting next to me at dinner and it turned out that the accent I was hearing was actually Nova Scotian and that she's from New Glasgow. Wow, and it's not even the girl that I had heard about who is also from Nova Scotia!

Furthermore, I went to the travel agency today to ask about last-minute New Year's trips (they were all WAY too expensive) and they had a world map and we were supposed to stick a pin in our hometown and... Halifax was already taken. My people have really made our mark on this city.

So, I just found out today that Tuesday is my last day of work before New Year's vacation. Well it's not much of a vacation, they're not paying for it and I'd rather work. But I get a week off and this will be my last official time off until I'm eligible for my 2-weeks paid vacation in May. So I feel like I should really do something with this and am thinking of going to Tokyo. Actually, I'm going to book myself into a hostel there now just in case since things are quickly filling up. I'll talk to you soon,

Ryan

2005-12-21T23:21:00.000+09:00

Wednesday, December 21st--- Samui desu ne?

I think today was the first day of winter and it was raining. This is only my third day here that it rained and each time it's been so little that I either missed it or arrived at my destination completely dry anyway. Rain, for my Canadian readers, is the thing that falls from the sky when it's not cold enough to snow. Actually, I shouldn't be bragging about the temperature here too much... last time I actually checked, we were only a couple of degrees warmer than Halifax.

So... where did I leave off? Oh yeah. Monday, as predicted, I had a cold. Tuesday I met Ikue for my language exchange (she's the one with the worst English). She brought me to a restaurant called "Dear Soup" and I ate some kind of dish with rice on the bottom and cheese, mushrooms and other indistinguishable things on top mixed together. It was pretty disgusting. Ikue's really good to learn Japanese from because she really doesn't know that much English. She studied English at ILI in Halifax for three months, but I think that's the extent of her English study, and she hasn't even visited any other English-speaking places (not even PEI).

Speaking of PEI, most of my students have heard of it, especially the females. They will point at my region on a map and say "Anne". If I ask "Anne of Green Gables?", they just stare at me blankly, but understand the direct translation of "Red-Haired Anne". Anne of Green Gables is immensely popular in Japan. I don't really understand why, but here's what one of my students was able to explain to me a while ago:
"It is unimaginable for Japanese people to live in such a strange place and they want to hear more about it. And she has red hair."

Back to Ikue, her English isn't that bad, but I think I'm getting a closer experience to what it's like learning from Nova teachers who don't speak any Japanese. Sometimes I'll ask her something like "How do I say this?" and she'll just smile and nod. Despite this, she's a pretty good teacher, probably since she's a Chinese teacher by profession. I explained to her that I had a cold and she took me to a pharmacy to get some medication. I bought it and was told that it's "really good". Unfortunately, I can't read the instructions.

Ikue also taught me how to ask people what their hobbies are in Japanese and when I asked her, she replied drinking sake (Japanese alcohol) and driving. Sounds like a good combination.

Today I also met up with Megumi, my first language exchange partner. I also got a call from Masa (though I'm busy tomorrow and can't meet him). As you can see, I'm very popular.

Last night I went to the internet cafe and was really feeling like something salty as I was leaving, around 1am, so I bought some chicken nuggets at Mos Burger across the street. I really don't want to make a habit of eating at night, so I was hoping that something bad would happen, like I would get sick or wouldn't be able to sleep to teach me a lesson. Luckily it did, I wasn't able to sleep until 5am, so I won't be doing any late-night eating (without drinking) anymore.

So today I overslept and had to text Megumi to meet me later than anticipated. We went to Mos Burger and I had soup and a Mos Cheeseburger. Megumi helped me translate the instructions on my cold medicine, it's all very easy and readable now. But I could only stay for an hour because I had to prepare for my 3-week evaluation.

"3-week Evaluation"

Now they call it a 3-week evaluation, but I've definitely been here for more than a month. I was pretty scared about it. I felt that my one-week evaluation could be a bit of a write-off since it was my first one, but for my second one I'd have to definitely show some improvement.

Anyway, I walked in and checked the schedule. My first lesson was Voice. What was going on? They couldn't grade me on a voice!! So unsure of what to do, I just left for a couple of hours and browsed the nearby shops. I saw a lot of flat-screen TVs that I want to own and even contemplated buying batteries.

Anyway, when I showed up again and asked Dani (the evaluator) what was going on, she was just kind of like "Oh... uh... yeah..." and issued me a student. Anyway, I only had a few minutes to prepare. At first she tried to give me a bit of a "Oh, well why are you here so late? This is your own fault!" until she realized that I had been there at 3pm, but still said that if I had stuck around she would have been able to fix it at 4pm.

Despite this, I destroyed it. By that I mean that I blew them away, one of my best performances ever. I was somehow able to fit in corrections of most of the bad feedback I had gotten last time and things went really well. While judging me, Dani was also training Janette, who will be taking on a manager's role in January. I had meant to tell Janette that if it makes her look better then be really hard on me (since I don't care) but I forgot.

Anyway, they told me what I did wrong afterwards and it all sounded not too bad, Dani and Janette were both pretty nice about it. So all I have left before getting off "probation" is my "2-month" evaluation, which, I'm told, is being held in about two weeks.

"Back of the Bus"

I've had a couple confusing things happen to me on the train this week. Monday, I sat down next to a woman who looked like she was sleeping. She looked up at me with a shocked expression, then looked down again. About a minute later, she looked back up again and said, in English, "I'm sorry, but this is the ladies' car!" I looked around, she appeared to be right. I had no idea my train even had a ladies' car and wonder how many times I've ridden in it and had old women frowning at me.

Then today, I was reading a text message someone had sent to my phone, when a conductor came over and said something to me in Japanese, pointing towards the next car. I looked around. It wasn't all women, but everyone was staring at me. Anyway, it turned out that I was in a car where passengers aren't allowed to play with their mobile phones.

"Life at Home"

I don't know if I mentioned this already, but I got a Birthday/Christmas package from my parents on the weekend. It was really good. I was going to wait to open it, but heard the rattling of crumbs inside. I knew it was cookies and wanted to eat them. They also sent me some other things, but I won't get into it. When they had originally asked me what I want sent, nothing was coming to mind (except for a specific kind of pen that I can't find here, which incidentally is "Made in Japan"). But now, after having received the package, a ton of things are coming to mind that I could use. That's ok, though, Steve is on his way back to the States for Christmas and has graciously agreed to pick up a few things for me as they come to mind.

I shared my cookies with my roommates. Actually, I left a note telling them to try some, and then they all kind of disappeared over the next two days, which is great for me (I don't like owning food at home). No one mentioned anything to me about it, but I asked Will and he said they were hella-good and seemed genuinely surprised that someone thought of putting coconut in a cookie. I shared the same cookies with my floormates in Hong Kong and I remember them politely acting as though they were savouring every bite and then asking for more.

Last night I was in my room reading (seriously!) and heard some commotion in the kitchen. It was Chris and Will, someone yelled something about those being huge flames and a minute later someone took off out the door yelling something about the fire alarm. I ignored it at first, but decided to come out and see what was going on. Apparently there had been another small fire in our apartment, they don't know how it started but Chris' dinner exploded into flames when he added olive oil, they say. I wonder if I'm going to die in a fire this year (Mom, I've located the fire exits already).

"Grapes and Pillaging in Halifax?"

Also concerning my home life, Chris (I always accidentally type Christ and have to go back) borrowed a book from the library about viking explorers and it's really good. Did you know that the vikings may have come to Nova Scotia around the turn of the last millenium? They found a ancient Scandinavian coin in Maine, you know. They also said the name that they gave to the region, Vinland, could have referred to the fact that grapes may have been growing there at the time.

Time's running out, talk to you soon, enjoy the Christmas season.

Ryan

2005-12-18T23:47:00.000+09:00

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 18th
----Midnight Update----

Continuing from Friday's post...

No, I got no presents at work. It turns out that my students are all either very horrible people or have lives of their own. Either way, they're all failing. I did, however, continue telling them throughout the day that it was my birthday, in the hopes that they'd throw something together, give me their cell phones, some spare cash, whatever, but all I got was a repeated "Ahhh?! You?! Your birthday today?!!", followed by enthusiastic clapping.

By the time I was heading to work, I was under the belief that about seven people had confirmed that they would be coming out that night for my birthday. People were being a little suspicious, though, in that sense that you kind of know that most of them aren't really planning on showing up, and only two of them actually ended up coming. It was ok though, since I really wasn't feeling like entertaining a large crowd and the two that came were of very high quality (thanks Steve and Mark).

First we ate some dinner at a Japanese tex-mex place I spotted in Shinsabashi. It was pretty funny. Seeing Japanese people striving to imitate Americans is, for some reason, one of the greatest joys of Japan. One of the workers was dressed in a cowboy uniform and I got my picture with him.

We spent the rest of the night at a club called Pure. Pure is a hip hop club with "all-you-can-drink for 3,000 yen" until 5am. These kinds of hip hop bars are all over the world and, although it was fun, I'm pretty tired of them. It was fairly ghetto and had a ton of foreigners (the most I've seen since the movie shoot). There were a lot of Japanese people with slanted hats and gold chains and Soon after we arrived there was a fight between some of the bouncers and a huge Maori guy, who got kicked out (actually, I noticed a lot of people getting kicked out throughout the night). I saw a Spanish girl get dragged out after picking up a pool ball and angrily heaving it across the room. After the Maori guy got kicked out, Mark explained to me the situation with Maoris in Australia (they're the native people of New Zealand). He says they'll often just go from completely calm to a fit of rage in seconds, fight some bouncers, get sent outside, then five minutes later will be back in the club shaking hands with the bouncers. This is exactly what happened.

We met a number of people there... a few Americans and Europeans, also a group of Japanese people who kind of surrounded us once we stepped out onto the dance floor. One of them had a hat that may have been part of a panda costume and I got to wear it for a while (it was my birthday). There were little rooms that kind of resembled igloos and Mark and I stepped down into one that said "Reserved" and all the people inside hurried out, I guess thinking it was ours, so we made sure to maintain it for the rest of the night. Anyway, the night ended up at some kind of all-night noodle shop and I didn't get home until 7.

Saturday I got up at 2:30pm and made my way downtown to see King Kong (after my father's rave review) with Steve. King Kong went on forever (like any of Peter Jackson's movies), though it was really impressive and makes me want to watch more movies.

Mark sent me a text message while we were in the theatre that he was on his way to Balabushka's, the pool and dart bar, so Steve and I went to join him once the movie was finally over at 10pm. We were challenged to a darts game by a Japanese couple, one of whom completely destroyed us repeatedly. Next we were challenged to some games of pool by a Vietnamese hotshot and somehow ended up beating him and his friend three times. Suddenly, I took a look at my watch and realized it was midnight and I had already missed the last train. Shit.

So we ended up hanging around and exploring a few local bars and just sitting around or wandering until the subway started up again at 5:20am. This is getting to be a bit easier, but really exhausting. I probably shouldn't complain since I live relatively close to Umeda, but I wish I lived within walking distance of downtown.

Sunday was another recovery day... got up at 12:30pm and did a lot of wandering around intertwined with little snacks if I saw something interesting. I don't like eating as much here. I think it's just more that there are other things to do than eat and I avoid having any food whatsoever at home (except for breakfast).

I finally bought a wool hat.

I had originally agreed to go to a bar with Suzanna (New Zealand girl) and her friends Sunday evening. I was really not in the mood for anymore drinking and reluctantly agreed to live up to my promise. Then I changed my mind once I got a call from Italian Davide who invited me to go see the Luminarie in Kobe, realizing this was my last chance before Christmas since I had to work all week.

Kobe feels like a real city to me. It has a lot of European influence and is built right on Osaka Bay, so it has what seems to be a really nice harbour area. The city is now famous for its 1995 earthquake that killed over 5,000 people, but has been a big centre for Japan's foreign community for centuries. It supposedly has the best foreign food in the Kansai area and has a huge Chinatown. The city is only about half an hour by express train from Osaka.

I met up with Davide at the train station and we walked through Chinatown. Chinatown was really impressive and had people selling food all along the street. I bought a dumpling and tried speaking to them in Cantonese, but they just stared at me blankly and continued speaking Japanese.

We contiunued walking for a really long time in really cold weather to "Harbourland", Kobe's waterfront. Tonight felt really, really cold, and I can feel some kind of cold or flu creeping up on me (note to science majors: please don't comment on the fact that coldness doesn't cause colds, I've heard that already). Kobe's waterfront was great, definitely European influences but without all the dirty Europeans (joking - I don't know who's reading this). There was a big tower, a huge ferris wheel, a funnily-shaped luxury hotel, and everything was draped in Christmas lights. I also found a Wendy's. I was going to request we stop for chili or a baked potato (remember those commercials where it was really cold and people ate those and everything suddenly became better?) but thought it might offend Davide, as Italians tend to prefer to eat in restaurants that don't feature Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers.

We took the subway back towards the train station to see the Luminarie. The Luminarie is a really famous display of Christmas lights in Kobe every year designed by some famous Italian person. The streets were packed with people who came to see it, and as we turned the corner to the decorated street, it was incredible - massive light structures going on for blocks and blocks. It kind of looked like a cheap casino, but was still impressive.

We took the train back towards Umeda. The Japanese people standing next to us were talking about us in Japanese and Davide was able to translate into French so that they wouldn't notice. We were just a starting topic, but their conversation moved on to making fun of foreign students. Once I saw what I was confident was Juso, I smoothly got off the train, only to realize that I was at some distant outpost called something like Sawaji. I just waited for the next train, grabbed my bike that was parked at a nearby pachinko parlour, and biked home.

On my way home, I remembered I had to return a video I had rented the previous week and ran upstairs to grab it. On my way out the door, I dropped my keys in the porch and though, 'Hey, I just dropped my keys on someone's shoe', then apparently just left. Once I got outside I realized what I had done and wasn't able to unlock my bike or get back into the building. So I waited.

Living in a building with over a thousand people, you'd really think that there would be people coming in and out every minute or so, but no. It was just after 11am when I realized I was locked out, and I ended up waiting around for at least 20 minutes before someone finally came in and I was able to sneak in behind them.

I returned the video and have now made my way to the local internet cafe. I plan to give up this habit soon enough, but in the cold I keep thinking of the free hot tea that I'll can enjoy as I type this... but today I had some trouble with the tea. The first thing I thought would be tea turned out to be hot chocolate, the second one corn soup (??), but finally, I found it. Until the staff add some English labels to the drink machines or I learn some more Japanese, there are going to be a lot of wasted drinks in these places. Well, not really wasted... I still technically drink them all, I just don't enjoy them.

I'm tired and am really looking forward to a relaxing week... Talk to you soon,

Ryan

2005-12-16T13:36:00.000+09:00

----December 16th, 2005.

It's official. I'm 23 in Japan.

This morning I woke up feeling rested and happy. It's bright and sunny out and I was really happy to not be sick (a lot of people are catching the flu around here). I got a birthday call from my family and talked to them for a while, my father says the King Kong movie is really incredible so I have made tentative plans to see it soon.

Walking out into the hall, I realized that Will had set up a fan blowing into his room. I peaked my head in and his futon was gone and it smelled of smoke. While I was eating breakfast a little later, he burst in the door and apologized for the night before. Apparently, he had set up candles around his bed (??) before going to sleep. He says he must have "shifted" during his sleep because when he woke up at 5am his bed was on fire. "...And the flames were huge. There was hella smoke everywhere." I'm a little disappointed in myself that I didn't wake up until hours later when he was actually washing his blankets.

Today I'm going to mail some postcards, let me know if you want one. Yesterday I got my two first pieces of real mail: a birthday card from Ariana and one from Grandma White. They were both great.

I want to buy a woolen hat today. People rarely use the word 'woolen' anymore. English is losing those German-derived adjectives ending in -en (golden has become gold, but we still use rotten... which, you might want to note, is German for red). Back to discussing hats, the word toque is probably the only Canadian word that Americans don't understand. But somehow, they do understand the Australian term for toques, beanies. When I hear Australians say they're going to wear a beanie, I still can't help but picture them wearing propeller beanies like the Muppet Babies version of Fozzy Bear wore.

So... 23. Another little-known fact about me is that I've always loved that number. It's served to be very lucky in Roulette over the years as well. An activity that I do at work sometimes is have the students guess how old I am, which really amuses me. I would say that they'll usually guess around 25 or 26 (whereas other foreigners usually guess that I'm younger than I actually am). One of my students, though, when she found out that I was turning 23 today was shocked. She said something to the effect of thinking that I was a teenager.

I have just as hard a time guessing how old they are. This one guy the other day, who I thought was maybe a Junior High student, ended up being the same age as me. Other ones who I think might be around my age will end up being in their mid-thirties. I think people here age differently.

Tonight, I've organized for some people to meet up for my birthday. A couple of Jets are coming into town from the countryside, which is really nice. The tentative plan is to go sit down somewhere for a couple drinks (for those who work the next morning) and then maybe go to a club or something like that.

But first I have to work until 9pm, which is a bit annoying. People's birthdays should be holidays. One day... But luckily I've been planting some seeds all week in my students' minds about my upcoming birthday, so I'm really hoping for a present. I've heard they sometimes give presents. I don't think I'll get any, though, I'm too new. Well, we'll see.

Ryan

2005-12-14T22:39:00.000+09:00

----Wednesday Evening Update----

I just found a second internet cafe in my neighbourhood and I'm happy there's competition for Popeye's Media Cafe. It's called Bb Cafe and as I happened upon it accidentally I decided to try it out. This one is a little more intense than the others, as things tend to be here. They made me go through a whole registration process, but they have better drinks and nicer little offices. Yeah, this place is much better.

And it's right across the street from Mos Burger so I'm eating a Mos Cheeseburger right now. A Mos Cheeseburger is kind of like a regular cheeseburger but with a thick tomato and more salsa. Actually, a lot more salsa. Or maybe you'd call this chili. Anyway, I'm going to shut up about this and move along with all my exciting updates.

I bought contacts today!! Finally, you're thinking. You haven't heard much of the past couple of days, but getting contacts has been pure hell. I had decided not to stock up on them before leaving Canada, because I remembered how liberal Hong Kong was in their contact sales and assumed that Japan would be the same way. But I was dead wrong.

I first tried to buy some a couple of weeks ago. I found an information agent in Whitey's Underground Mall and she sent me vaguely in the direction of K's Contacts. They somehow go the idea across that I would need to first get my eyes tested for 5,000 yen by them before I could purchase anything. I think I laughed in her face and left. In Hong Kong they used to test my eyes for free.

Next, when I had met Megumi for our language exchange, I got her to take me to a couple of contact places to check up on prices. They all said the same thing, though their test prices alone were 6,000 and 7,000 yen. I said I knew somewhere that would do it for 5,000 yen, so we left. This past weekend I was getting desperate and went back to K's. Steve was with me and he can speak Japanese. They told him that I would now have to pay a 70,000 yen fee to get my eyes tested. Did they just up the price over the past week??

So I found a fourth place selling contacts on Sunday. As usual, the girls at the front desk couldn't speak any English whatsoever and I got the idea across that I wanted contacts. They shouted out the usual "Aaaaa????" that they always do whenever they don't understand anything, then remembered there was an employee out back who could speak some. She came back and said that they would do the eye test for 30,000 (definitely acceptable), however, I would have to come back on Tuesday because they were booked up for the rest of the day.

Tuesday I came back an spent about half an hour there as she asked me the types of medical questions that would make you think I was undergoing some kind of surgery. At then end of the interview session, she gave me a medical card (only for that particular contact shop) and took me aside and quietly explained that I'd probably be better off going to a cheaper contact shop. She said that although their check-up price is technically cheap, they would charge more than double the going-rate for contacts. I said that I could just get the prescription from them and buy my contacts elsewhere, but she said if I actually wanted them to write up a prescription, they'd have to up the price to 7,000.... what?

Meanwhile, this week I've been getting annoying headaches from my old contacts and I was even sometimes having trouble concentrating at work because of it. I decided that I would, no matter what, get contacts Wednesday.

I returned to the second shop that Megumi took me to last week since they had rock-bottom contact prices (1700 yen/box). They could speak no English, but I got through to them and they told me to come back after 3:00pm to get my eyes tested in the clinic. I came back, though I didn't think I'd have enough time since I had to leave for work soon.

They showed me to the clinic. It was really funny. This is strictly a contact lens shop and they seemed to have the facilities of a modern hospital. There were about a dozen people in lab coats rushing around and a dark room where I saw other patients enter and exit. I tried explaining to them that I needed to leave for work in twenty minutes. They didn't understand, so I remembered someone had told me that if you write things down they will usually get the gyst of it. I wrote it all out and they understood and said that it could be done.

Anyway, I came in and they whisked me over to have some tests done on my eyes. I showed them that I was already wearing contacts and a woman rushed over, reached her fingers into my eyes, pulled them both out and ran away with them. I don't think I've ever had someone purposely touch my eyes before.

I don't know if you know how bad my eyes are... They're -8.00 and -9.00, if that means anything to you. It's really bad. All I can see are just blurs of colour and definitely can't see people's faces or basically can't read anything that's not touching my face, so I'm kind of like a blind person without them. They were then trying to communicate with me by gestures and I had no idea of what to do. Someone would have to put their hand in my face and point up for me to look up.

Anyway, they put me through all kinds of different gadget tests... the one where the machine automatically makes you focus on a road by altering its intensity and watching your eyes... the one that shoots gusts of air into your eyes... this funny one where I had to point which way the gap in the circle was facing... The workers were constantly jogging around, I can't imagine that ever happening in Canada. They sent me into the dark room I saw earlier and there was a doctor in their who also did a couple of tests on my eyes... in the dark. In the end, they put my new contacts on my eyeballs for me and I was happy to pay them the 7,000 yen. Actually, I thought I was getting away without having to pay for the contacts (I wasn't going to ask any questions) but they had a second cash register on the way out to charge me the rest. I'm a member of this eye clinic now (another membership card) so hopefully that means I won't have to go through all the tests next time. That means really cheap contacts from now on, which sounds nice.

Well I'm glad that subplot is not stretched out any further.

Yesterday I met up with an Italian guy I had met who claimed to know the location of the best Mexican restaurant in Japan. I think he was right, it was really, really delicious, probably the best Mexican I've eaten in a restaurant (and that includes the time I bought 5 tacos for 5 dollars at Taco Bell). I took the last train back to Shinosaka and met up with Zoe and Graham at Fly Over (the local bar where Shinosaka Nova teachers go on Tuesday nights) for a couple of beers. It was alright, maybe a little small and crowded for my tastes. But at least it's in the neighbourhood. Francesca, who's working temporarily at my school on Mondays and Tuesdays, was also there. She said she has a roommate from Halifax who wants to meet me. I guess I'm not the only one here.

This morning I felt sick and remembered that Mexican food is never really a good idea. People in Mexico must feel sick all the time. I slept off the morning and was happy to make it down to the contact place in time. I did, however, not get a chance to eat, so I went to the convenience store at the train station on my way to work and bought what looked to be the most stomachable snack. It was a small loaf of really soft-looking bread filled with whipped cream and strawberries and was not so bad.

Today at work, I had two voice lessons again (the one where I get to just sit around and talk to the students). How fun these are really depends upon the students, but I've been happy to have been able to bring in Coke or juice with me, which really eases things. However, today I was caught leaving with Coke and was scolded by Dani, who said I'm not allowed to drink anything while at work because it's unprofessional. Dani, you may recall, is the big Australian woman who takes her job way too seriously. Luckily, she's only there two or three days a week that I'm there. I was thrilled to hear today that she's now pregnant and moving back to Australia in January. I'm sure there will be a massive farewell party after she's gone.

I mailed a package of gifts back home on Tuesday, though unless you're in my immediate family, you didn't get anything. Sorry. The post office was full of foreigners, which was an odd sight, I guess everyone doing the exact same thing. There was a Jamaican man next to me yelling at the workers in English and he was making a huge scene. It was really humiliating. I hate when people do things like that because this type of behaviour reinforces the anti-foreigner attitude here. I tried to act over-the-top in pleasantness to balance things out and repeated as many thank yous and little bows as I could fit in. I overheard a little bit of what the Jamaican guy was saying and he was complaining about having to pay for the box. I don't get it, it only cost me $3.

Anyway, it's my birthday on Friday and I've managed to slip it into every lesson I've taught today and yesterday, I've heard some students are known to bring presents.

Ryan

2005-12-12T23:01:00.000+09:00

~Monday Evening Update~

So back to this weekend... Saturday morning I got up a little later than I would have hoped and rushed to get ready for Kyoto. I had planned to meet Steve there for 11:20, but I was embarassingly late. Steve was coming in from way outside the city and was there on time, and luckily I was able to catch a "Super Rapid Express" train which got me there in 23 minutes.

Kyoto's a really famous city here, and most of the locals I've talked to have recommended I visit. It's an "ancient city" that was Japan's capital for over a thousand years (it changed to Edo (Tokyo) in 1868 or thereabouts). Kyoto is definitely a cultural centre of Japan and has plenty of old temples. There's also a geisha district. We didn't go there, but we saw a few women dressed as geishas walking around. The city is is known for being really beautiful in the autumn (turning of the leaves) and the spring (cherry blossoms).

After arriving in Kyoto and taking the subway to Sanjo, I met up with Steve and he took me up to a temple. He's been to Kyoto numerous times before since he's been around since July. The next hour or so is a little blurry in my mind, though I remember climbing a big hill, entering a temple area, seeing some Japanese rickshaws, and exploring a Japanese graveyard. Japanese graveyards are really interesting, the tombs kind of look like buildings and the cemetary sometimes seems like a miniature downtown district, you'll see what I mean when I get some pictures up.

Then we went to a temple with a giant Buddha. The woman at the front said that I had really good Japanese (though I only know a few words, so I'm now wondering if that was some kind of Japanese sarcasm). It was all fairly impressive so far. We walked through the shops of a town that really magnified how different Osaka is from historical Japan. This city was actually really nice ot look at.

There also seemed to be a lot of little tourist-oriented shops all over Kyoto, which was completely different from Osaka. It took me weeks to even find postcards in this city, let alone any decent made-in-China tourist merchandise.

Anyway, we soon got to our intended destination: Kiyomize-dera. It's a really famous temple and was really impressive. It may have been built as a getaway for one of the emperors (though I might be thinking of something else). Anyway, it was a collection of wooden structures with big decks built on the hillside overlooking the city. My descriptions are sounding really bad, so I'll just show you some pictures of everything later. Actually, I'm going to try to attach a picture of it to this post. OK, I tried to do it and don't know if it worked, but you'll probably know by now if it did.

When we arrived at Kiyomize-dera we were approached by a Japanese student from the Kyoto University of Foreign Studies who volunteers as an English tour guide. Her name was Mikki. She was really great, she actually devoted a good hour to showing us around and telling us about everything and had really good English for someone who had never left Japan. Life here is pretty nice... It's great to be able to travel around and talk to locals without them trying to get money out of you.

At the temple complex, I tried to get involved in a bunch of the traditional feats. There was a giant metal pole and if you can lift it with one hand then you will have success in your employment (I think). Anyway, I couldn't even lift it with both hands. Actually, I watched a number of people try to lift it and every single one walked away with a disappointed expression indicating they're going to have a very, very bad life.

I also tried another "feat" where I had to walk from one rock to another with my eyes closed. This one was supposed to indicate whether or not I was going to have success in my love life. Mikki said that if someone needs to help you across then your love life will need help, though Steve said he's been told before that it's actually supposed to mean that you're going to die alone or something like that. Anyway, I closed my eyes and tried to walk it... crashed into about a dozen Japanese people, ranging from old women to little kids (by the feel of it). I had just about made it across when Mikki said something like "OK!", I opened my eyes, then she said "No!" since I was still a few metres away. I failed.

Well my third feat went much more easily. All I had to do this time was drink water from one of three small waterfalls out of a giant metal ladel. I had the choice between the wisdom waterfall, the longevity waterfall and the romance waterfall, I opted for the wisdom. The water was pretty good, though I'm still waiting for the extra bout of wisdom to kick in.

After the temple, we were very hungry. I hadn't eaten since breakfast and it was now nearing 4 or 5pm and I was getting that faint, empty, starvation feeling that seems to happen here quite a bit. We walked into the city and ate at a big Japanese restaurant and I ate rice and pineapple aboard a ground beef patty. The menu was gigantically tall and the restaurant looked like a dark place that dwarves and woodland creatures might eat. Kind of like a Taiwanese restaurant I remember from Hong Kong called Greenland.

I've gone into way too much detail again and my internet time is almost up, so I'll speed through the rest.

We went back to Osaka in the evening. We were meeting up with Steve's friend Rachel and her friend Nathan at 11pm to go clubbing, Steve was going to crash on my couch if we didn't stay out all night so we dropped off our stuff there and headed down to Umeda. We met up with the others, went to a shot bar and drank, then continued to the club, Saza*e, and continued drinking. A lot. The club was really interesting, pretty huge and world class. We all got in free because I had luckily found a coupon in a magazine allowing "free entrance for four foreigners" (instead of the $25 entrance fee) a couple of days before. The club had numerous floors including a big dance floor, some sit-down areas and a pool on the top. We ended up staying there until close sometime after 4am and waited around for the trains to start running again after 5am.

Sunday, for some reason, I got up at 10:50am and went down to Shinsaibashi with Steve, who didn't head back home until that afternoon. We had okonomiyaki for lunch. Okonomiyaki is one of Osaka's specialties and another item that my students have been recommending to me. We had a grill at our table and grilled some kind of pile of cabbage, beef and egg (and possibly other things) into some kind of pancake with barbecue sauce. It sounds like it would have been good, but I was really tired and don't fully remember.

I did a little bit of Christmas shopping and will be sending the package off tomorrow morning. If anyone wants something sent back to Halifax, e-mail me now or else you won't be getting anything, since I only got a few things for my family. I had to get a gift for my sixish year old cousin Courtney (long story) and bought her a stuffed combo of Takoru-Kun and Takobe. I'm not really sure who they are, but are really fashionable among Japanese children. One looks like a squid and the other one a non-descript animal (possibly a dog or bear) and they seem to always be holding hands. The front of the book that goes along with them says something like "Takoru-Kun and Takobe are best friends. Do you love them?"

I had intended to buy her Hello Kitty merchandise but there wasn't really anything in the range of what I was looking for. I didn, however, finding out that Charmming Kitty, who I have seen a lot of since I arrived, is not a rip-off of Hello Kitty, but rather Hello Kitty's pet cat. I really don't understand why a cat needs a pet cat who looks almost identical to it and am somewhat intrigued.

At around 7pm, I went to look through my Kyoto pictures and ended up passing out mid-picture (I was really tired).

Earlier, around 5pm I got a phone call from my father! I didn't recognize his voice at first, but that's what happense when you encounter people out of context. The call was made at 4am Halifax time which officially qualifies my father as a party animal. I also got a call from my mother around 8:30pm and also didn't recognize her voice at first. Since I had been napping, I was in a sleepy and confused state and was barely able to make any conversation, but it was good to hear from both of them since I haven't actually talked to anyone from home at all in the past month.

Today I met up with my third language exchange partner, Ikue. Ikue had spent 3 months in Halifax studying at ILI (English school), though that was just about the extent of her English education. Actually, I think she was pretty scared of speaking English. We went to a shop for lunch where I was able to get some spaghetti and we talked a little bit in English and I struggled with my very limited Japanese. Japanese is becomming a lot more fun to learn now that I know a few very basic sentences and things are slowly starting to fall in place a little. I think I'll soon be able to move it up my list above Cantonese in terms of my fluency... I really can't think of much I can say in Cantonese and not in Japanese.

Wow, I've really gone over my time here at the internet cafe and will have to pay some hefty fees. Talk to you soon,

Ryan

2005-12-12T13:52:00.000+09:00

Stranger: "You're from Nova Scotia?? I'm from Niagara Falls! We're practically neighbours!"
Ryan: "Neighbours? We're practically family!"

Whew, it's been an exhausting, yet great, weekend. Actually, I don't have time to write anything now, I have to go meet my third language exchange partner, Ikue. Ikue is a friend of Michitaka (my Japanese friend who lives in Halifax) and she had also studied in Halifax too, so that could be interesting.

But to sum up the weekend (more on this next time):
Sightseeing in Kyoto
Clubbing in Osaka
Being very, very tired
Eating Rice Pockets

Ryan

2005-12-09T12:51:00.000+09:00

I saw the new Harry Potter movie yesterday. I made it down to the movie theatre about ten minutes late, but went in anyway. Harry Potter was at a Quidditch (? - does my spelling clarify how many Harry Potter books I've read?) game between Ireland and Bulgaria. To be honest, I really didn't understand a lot of the movie, which is great since it's probably made for 9 year olds. Like, are Harry Potter and Ron Weasley dating? I don't get it.

Movies are really expensive here. I was so relieved to see that my Harry Potter combo (popcorn & pop with Harry Potter box) was only 600 yen, but a ticket for a matinee show is $18 CDN. I guess this is good since it means I won't be wasting as much time watching bad movies as I used to, but still... this month alone I need to see at least two more movies (King Kong, Memoirs of a Geisha). And the popcorn is unfortunately of the sub-par level that it was in Hong Kong, so I'll have to find some kind of solution to that predicament as well.

I don't know if I mentioned this already, but Canadian Justin lost all his money. I think I did mention this, but to revisit it, he doesn't know what happened to his wallet, but by the time he realized it was missing, $7,000 was already charged to his credit cards. He doesn't have to pay for it, but he's lost all his ID and cash. So I mentioned this to the students of one of my classes. Immediately, one of the students had solved the mystery... "It must have been a Chinese thief!!" she said. The others all nodded in agreement.

Japanese people seem to hate foreigners, as they are the cause to all of life's problems. I still haven't been able to deduce whether I am grouped in with the Koreans and Chinese that they seem to hate so much or if non-Asian foreigners are in a different, suspicious category. I'm starting to hate foreigners too.

Yesterday at work I got a text from Zoe and Graham who were going to the bar Fly Over in Shinosaka (my neighbourhood) that night. I had already made plans for later on to do a language exchange, but decided to pop by after work for a drink anyway. I rode my bike around for about half an hour, but any directions anyone gave me were horribly vague and I never found it. It seems that most directions here will have to be shown, not described, since it's impossible to find anything purposely on my own.

Last week when I went to the working holiday visa office, I saw a sign up from a Japanese guy named Masa looking to do a language exchange with a Canadian since he had worked in B.C. for 9 months. I e-mailed him and we planned to meet up Thursday at 10:30pm at Mos Burger near my house (he works in Shinosaka).

Masa's English is OK, he was on the same working holiday visa as I am, but for Canada. He is 23 and works for a cram school (Japanese kids go to cram schools to "cram" schoolwork into them in their spare time). He lived in a hippy town called Sunshine Coast in B.C. for half a year and in Vancouver for a few months. He seems really easy-going and throws his head back in laughter for just about anything I say about Japan or Canada. Seriously, I was a little worried what the other people at Mos Burger were thinking because he was literally falling over laughing, but no one seemed to take notice. I'm actually the first person to get back to him about the language exchange since he put the ad up about a year ago, but he did a language exchange back in Canada and seems to kind of know what he's doing. I think it will probably be fun.

Tomorrow I'm planning on going to Kyoto with Steve and will probably have some beautiful pictures to update with later. Kyoto is known as the cultural capital of Japan. In ancient times it was the capital and people talk about it a lot and always suggest that I go there. That's about all I know, but I'm sure I'll have a lot more to say about it next post.

Ryan

2005-12-08T11:58:00.000+09:00

"ONE WEEK" EVALUATION

So about two weeks into my work I had my one-week evaluation. I was terrified. I showed up for work over an hour early to prepare for the lesson and make sure it went over smoothly. I took the teacher's manual to McDonald's so the other teachers wouldn't see me preparing and jotted down as many notes as I could for how I would properly fill the 40 minute class and reminders of things that I really should be doing and saying. I wasn't really sure if the fact that this class happened to only be one student was a good thing or a bad thing, I guess it will be determined by the student.

I was going to be evaluated by Dani. As I explained before, Dani is a big, imposing Australian woman who may take her job too seriously. She is strictly "by the book" and when other teachers heard that she would be evaluating me they looked like they felt sorry for me and gave me a few pointers. Just before we were about to go in for my evaluation lesson, Dani asked me "So which lesson did you choose?".
Ryan: "The one on exaggerating."
Dani: "Why did you choose that one?"
Ryan: "I thought it sounded like it would be interesting."
Dani: "Well you can't just choose a lesson because it will be interesting for you," she snapped.
Ryan: "Actually, I meant interesting for the student."
Dani: "Oh, well don't you think that lesson is a little above his level?"
Ryan: "No, I think it looks great."

So the lesson went about as smoothly as I could have hoped. The student was fantastic, and I'm wondering what I would have done if he wasn't. He was eager and creative with his responses and things seemed to click in him right away, it was good. After the evaluation, I had a one-hour discussion with Dani. It seemed that it didn't go too badly, though she still had a fair amount of criticism for ways that I could improve. Actually, it all went pretty well and she seemed friendlier than I thought she would be.

That being over, the rest of my Tuesday classes were fine. I taught a class on story-telling. I really like teaching this one because I get to make the students tell stories. Their stories are usually really, really uncreative, nothing interesting ever happens, so I always try to spice them up. There will be, for example, a picture of a woman with groceries who was obviously locked out of her car and the student will have to explain what happened. They will always answer something like "She forgot her key." and I just keep asking questions to get them to elaborate. I have started asking them to include at least one monkey in their stories, which always makes things more fun for everyone.

I had another class that day on how to strike up a conversation with someone. I had the students pick a famous person who they would like to meet and pretend they saw them sitting in a restaurant and explain what they would say to strike up conversation. It usually involves a Japanese actor or actress who I have never heard about, but one medical student I teach insists on meeting Harry Potter. He is obsessed with Harry Potter. He told me Harry Potter has made him decide to become a magician. He's in med school and I really don't know what he means by that. I'm just happy I'm not among the aging Japanese population that will have to depend on such doctors.

Speaking of Harry Potter, I still haven't seen that movie, although it's been a looming goal for my past two weeks. The movie theatre here in Umeda just plays it at such inconvenient times, ti makes little sense. I checked today and the latest showing in English is at something like 7:30pm while I'm at work. The only showing that I can safely attend is at 9:30am and there's no way I'm making it down for that. Since I'm scared they're going to stop playing it at the end of the week, I've decided to go home to change into my suit and go there for the 1:10pm show and then go straight to work. You'd better not get me fired, Harry Potter.

Tuesday night I officially finished The Lost Continent by Bill Bryson. It takes me ages to read a book and finishing one this quickly was a great milestone to complete. I think it's because I have no TV or internet at home and really have nothing else to do. This was a great book. It recounted Bill Bryson's giant road trip around the United States in the 1980s, gives tons of information about small-town America and I really recommend it (or any of his books). I hadn't planned on reading this one, rather just mailing it to a friend of a friend (long story) but happened to read the first paragraph and was hooked. It goes like so:

"I COME FROM Des Moines. Somebody had to. When you come from Des Moines you either accept the fact without question and settle down with a local girl named Bobbi and get a job at the Firestone factory and live there forever adn ever, or you spend your adolescence moaning at length about what a dump it is and how you can't wait to get out, and then you settle down with a local girl named Bobbi and get a job at the Firestone factory and live there forever and ever."

Wednesday morning I had to get up early to go meet Megumi in Umeda. If you don't remember, Megumi is a former student of mine (I already have former students) who agreed to do a Japanese/English language exchange with me. We met up at noon and she was in what seemed to be business attire with a pink blazer, I could tell she meant business. We discussed Japanese and English at Starbucks then afterwards she showed me around Umeda a little bit and she showed me it was ridiculously helpful. I've been exploring this area every day for a couple of weeks and thought I had it down-packed, but she showed me the good stores, helped me find out information about buying contacts and showed me where I could buy clothing and a toy for my cousin. Also, we went to the internet cafe afterwards and she showed me what to press to change the language here on my blog, so I can now stop complaining about not being able to read anything.

Yesterday, one of my groups of students stank, in both the literal and non-literal sense of the word. When I came in, the class had a combined smell of tobacco and urine and things just got worse from there. I think this was the worst class I've taught yet, but luckily it was the last of the day and I knew that if I could just pass the time I could get out of there. The class involved Kazuko, who has been putting complaints in about me for talking too fast. I don't know why they keep putting her in my classes. She obviously hates me. Despite being like 45, she seems to have a generally bad attitude. I think I caught her rolling her eyes at my teaching methods. I was enfuriated! I wish I could give detentions.

After work last night, Janette invited me to come for coffee with her, Rebecca and Adrian. At first I said no and made up an excuse, but then changed my mind when I found out that they were going to the izakaya and there would be an opportunity to drink. I'm still pretty awkward around my co-workers, so it's a little weird and I should take the opportunity to drink with them whenever it comes up. Janette is really nice, she lives in my area and offered to help me out with anything I need. Adrian also lives in my area and the three of us too the train home together and got out in Minimakata to walk the rest of the way because that's how they do things.

Today my roommate Will left on a 5- or 6-day trip to Korea. It was really exciting. I don't know why, but I love when my roommates go away. I think my apartment is just too small for three people, so two seems fine. I'm probably going to move out of my apartment in a little while because apparently Nova overcharges us and we can get better places for cheaper if we do it on our own.

OK, I'm going to try to see if I can catch Harry Potter, talk to you soon.

And just in case you didn't get a chance to see the last post, I put some pictures up into an ImageStation photo album:

http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2116536733&code=19610468&mode=invite&DCMP=isc-email-AlbumInvite

Ryan

2005-12-07T14:42:00.000+09:00

SPECIAL POST ~ PHOTOS ~ SPECIAL POST

I bought a memory card for my phone so that I could transfer my photos onto computer. I couldn't figure out how to upload them here, so I threw a little album together. Most of these are taken with my phone, so excuse the hideous quality (though my camera's pictures aren't turning out much better). And the captions might be really stupid, I can't remember, I was tired. But if you've been reading my blog and have a good imagination, they should be mostly self-explanatory. Let me know if this link doesn't work:

http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2116536733&code=19610468&mode=invite&DCMP=isc-email-AlbumInvite

Ryan

2005-12-06T14:04:00.000+09:00

I've somehow lost the ability to put titles up. Everything's still in Japanese and until I learn kanji or find a computer with an English operating system, my entries will probably keep deteriorating like this.

Yesterday I decided to give the deep-fried mystery meat with mysterious brown sauce over it a try since someone told me that it was curry. It was actually not too bad.

I was programmed for two Voices yesterday. One was a *special voice* on Canada that had been booked in since last week. The students didn't seem to like it too much, but I really enjoyed it. I had the students brainstorm to tell me all the negative things they could think about Canada. They were scared to give them to me, but I told them bad things about Japan and that eased it up a little (maybe envoked a bit of bitterness) so they were able to tell me that Canada is too cold, too inefficient, you need a car to do anything, has not enough shops, similar to the United States and "living expenses are low" (essentially, you can't earn enough money in Canada). And I guess that's all true. They also said some way out there things like that we eat a lot of fish and the cold air makes us all warm-hearted, but I shut those misconceptions down pretty quickly.

My second voice was with a really old woman (like 80) who I had a voice with last week. She had come in late last week and didn't get much of a chance to talk to me, so she was really happy she had the whole forty minutes this time. I asked her all about World War II and it was really interesting. She said that Japanese people were so devoted to the emperor at the time that they didn't think for themselves and they didn't even know why they were attack the USA when they bombed Pearl Harbour. She said they considered the emperor to be a god and when he told them to hate the USA at the beginning of the war, they obeyed and at the end of the war he told them that the Americans were going to come occupy them and absolutely no one resisted.

She also said that only the people in Okinawa (islands to the south) had even seen the Americans during the war, the rest of them were just being bombed by anonymous birds in the sky. They were terrified of them coming to occupy them and sent all their young women out to the country because they thought that they would be raped (makes sense since that's what the Japanese did when they occupied other countries, I'm told). But when the Americans arrive, she said, everything got better. She said General MacArthur was a great man and gave them all free skim milk (people were starving at the time). That generation became, on average, 10cm taller than their parents. The Americans helped write the Japanese constitution, allowing women's and peasants' rights. She was finally allowed to vote and in the early 50s attended university. I've always thought of the United States in the 1950s as being a horrible superpower throwing around their weight, but her accounts of how much better things became definitely make me second-guess that opinion.

Whew, time to go to work again. I have my big evaluation today, so Dani will sit in on one of my lessons. Shit.

2005-12-05T15:21:00.000+09:00

I posted another message a few minutes ago concerning the first half of my weekend, so maybe you're better off reading that first.

...So, the minibus dropped us off at the Umeda post office. I had talked to a number of the other extras, there were people from around the world, they seemed to consider anyone to be German-looking who wasn't Japanese. I even saw some Mexicans there and they would definitely pass as Japanese long before they'd pass as Germans, but no matter. Some of the people were cool, but the majority seemed to be of the quality of people who would come to Japan purely for the anime and girls who didn't understand what losers they are in their home countries. Supposedly you get a lot of those types in Japan, though I hadn't met many until that day.

Anyway, Mark and I bought some beer from the store and headed down to the subway to Shinsaibashi. We drank our beer on the subway ride and headed down towards Dotonburi. It's really hard to find good bars, so a lot of it is just trial and error walking down the sidestreets. We saw a sign for one on the 8th floor of a building called "2Pac", and with a name like that, good times were surely in store. We walked in and it was completely empty, though it was still early. There was a kind of pink/purplish glow and I knew something wasn't right, but Mark said everything was fine. We each ordered a beer and went to sit down near the window and were watching the scenery on the street below. When we turned around, there was a Japanese girl that had earlier been behind the bar, standing there in a mini-skirt and pig-tails, looking like she was ready to party. "Hello!!!" she said enthusiastically and waved at us with both hands.

We just kind of stared at her awkwardly and didn't say anything. She ran off, then came back with a big bowl of candy. Mark called the bartender over who could speak a bit of English and asked him if this was a "hostess bar" and he said it was. We'd heard stories of people going to hostess bars and being stuck with tabs of thousands of yen of a girl that they were paying to sit with them, so we explained to the bartender that we didn't understand and were able to escape with only paying a total of 900 yen for our beers and "seating fees".

It's hard to find a bar here, since they're mostly hidden within big buildings and are listed only in Japanese characters, so I think the only way to learn one's way around is by either knowing other people with more experience or exploring, so we continued on. After a bit more searching, we found a basement bar called "Plant Bar". Plant Bar was small (mostly just a bar) and played good music. There were four JET teachers from Seattle that we were talking to. JET teachers generally live out in the small towns and villages and will meet up in the city over the weekends. They'll often take a trainride of a couple of hours into town Saturday evening, spend the whole night at the bars, then go home the next morning. These four (John, Helen, Lucas and ___) had been here since July (like all JET people). They invited us out to the next bar with them, where they claimed it was "all-you-can-drink-for-two-hours" for a reasonable price.

The price turned out to be not so reasonable, but luckily they had cheap individual beers. We never would have found this place if it weren't for John who could speak Japanese and thus was the leader of their group. At around 11:30pm I realized I had to rush out to catch the last train, but Mark (who lives nearby) told me to just borrow his bike.

Next we went to an area called Amerika-Mura (meaning something like America Town. I had never been there but really like it. It's a neighbourhood dedicated to the styles of the United States and during the day has all kinds of little clothing shops and cafes, I'm told. There's an open triangular area where the Japanese skater kids hang out and there we ran into some friends of the JET people who we had, by chance, met earlier that day at the movie shoot. Actually, we probably saw about a quarter of the foreigners in Osaka at that movie shoot. We were all going to go to a club, but the cover charge John had negotiated wasn't low enough, so I just headed back with Mark to get his bike.

I biked most of the way home in record time, now that I'm getting to know the city better it goes a bit faster. I had to also pick up my own bike, which I had left at Juso station. I'm told that you can't leave your bike out overnight or else the police will come pick it up and put it in some kind of impound lot on the other side of the city. Dragging along two bike was taking forever, so I biked one home, then jogged back and biked the other one home and went to bed.

I got a lot of sleep that night and didn't wake up until after 1pm. I was scheduled to meet up with Zoe after her work in Nanba at 3:10pm, but I got lost after Umeda (trying to take a short-cut) and headed in the wrong direction for a while and was pretty late. I need to get a compass. On my way down it started raining. This was the first time that it had rained since I arrived in Osaka two and a half weeks ago, which is pretty amazing seeing as how Vancouver rained every day that I was there just beforehand (but yeah, that's Vancouver). Then the rain started coming down harder. And harder. Suddenly, it was hailing like I'd never seen before. Japanese people were all running into nearby buildings and staying off the streets, but I was late so I continued on.

Zoe and I met by the big metal ball at OCAT and went up to "Skits" or something like that, where the multimedia people hang out. Nova has a big building in Nanba where there's the multimedia centre, meaning all the teachers teach classes over the internet, Zoe and her boyfriend Graham both teach there, as well as Jeremiah who I met in the Vancouver airport on my way here. The multimedia people were sitting around, drinking their coffees and beers. I didn't really get a chance to talk to many of them, though they all sounded British to me. Zoe told me all about the workings of the multimedia centre and it sounds fun, though I'm happy to be teaching man-to-man since the interaction is good (for now, at least).

Afterwards, Zoe and I walked up towards Shinsaibashi. She said she was aware of somewhere that sold postcards, which I had yet to see. The bookstore she had described sold only expensive postcards that weren't even of Japan (things like the Eiffel Tower), but luckily we found a great place along the way and I bought seventeen.

Next we went back to Amerika Mura, which I really like now. We went into something that was probably supposed to look like an American diner, but definitely didn't, though its walls were covered in Coca-Cola signs and other general crap from the 1950s-60s. I had a chocolate-banana milkshake which was great, probably the most sugar I've consumed in one sitting since I've arrived.

We went to meet up with Justin & Jacquie afterwards, and listen to this...

When Just got home Saturday, he realized his wallet was missing. He looked around and couldn't find it, which was pretty bad since it had the equivalent of a few hundred Canadian dollars in it. Meanwhile, Justin's father gets a phone call in Canada from Visa, saying there has been some strange action on his credit cards and they wanted to make sure that everything was alright. Justin called them and apparently over $7,000 CDN had been spent between his three credit cards within a period of six hours. Now Justin is completely out of money and identification and is generally in a bad position, but he's going to be fine. Actually, Justin's whole household is in shambles. One roommate had his bike stolen the day before and the other one's long-time ill mother died last week and he's had to return to Scotland.

Justin, Jacquie, Zoe and I went to Balaboushka's (the free pool & darts bar from last weekend) and met up with Graham and his friend. I played Justin a game of darts for a beer and he won, so I have to start practicing before I make another wager. Apparently he and his roommates play Texas Hold'em quite often so I'm going to come join them some night this week, though I'm a bit worried about his apartment being cursed. Hopefully it's just the residents that are cursed and I might be able to win some serious cash from them. Graham (Zoe's boyfriend) is also living in Shinosaka and he invited me out to the local bar on Tuesday night. He seems like he could be the typical uppity British guy, but I haven't gotten to know him yet. At the end of the night I rode Mark's bike down to his house and dropped off the key and headed home, barely making the last subway back. I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do when I finally do miss it.

This morning (Monday) I got up early because I had a few chores I wanted to do in my neighbourhood. First of all, there was the matter of breakfast foods. For the past week I was eating bread, peanut butter and orange juice, and had pretty much run out of all three and wanted to make my way to the Max-Valu supermarket. Secondly, I wanted to check out the prices of the local drycleaner, and thirdly, I wanted to check out Shinosaka's gym, to which someone from work had drawn me a map.

The supermarket portion went swimmingly, the drycleaner was alright, though it takes them two days to clean anything which is unacceptable so I might just wait until the weekend before cleaning things. Then came the gym. I got there just before 10am when it opened and there was a line-up of old women. I went down to Starbucks to listen to Christmas music until it opened, then went back up. The gym staff couldn't speak English, so I drew them sufficient pictures for them to understand I wanted to have a look around. I walked around and was fairly unimpressed. Gyms are a lot more expensive here, which is fine, but if I'm paying more I want a much better gym. This one was packed with old people (except for the weight area which was completely empty). Actually, when I got up to the weight room, a trainer-type guy rushed over and managed to get an English sentence out, "American people like lift weights little." As you can see, this was a very informative trip to the gym. There was an old man in a hot tub off the changing room bobbing up and down. I didn't like this sight an quickly got out of there. There's a chance that I still might sign up since it's so close to my house, but for now I'm going to save my money and try to take up jogging again.

Well, that's about it, my work week is going to start again in an hour and a half, so have a good week and fill me in on what you're all up to.

Ryan

2005-12-05T12:34:00.000+09:00

My roommate Will had invited me to the library one evening last week, I think Thursday night, so I went with him Friday morning. We had to bike down bike down because Will won't take the subway since he is likely the cheapest person in the world (hence going to the library, though cheapness is not necessarily a bad thing). To put his cheapness into context, the night before his good friend was about to leave to go back home and was having a farewell dinner, and despite this being the last time that he would likely see her before she leaves, he declined because he thought he would be expected to buy himself and a portion of her drinks while they were out. So he's a good person to get money-saving tips from (though maybe not advice on having friends).

We biked down to the library, which took about an hour. I really hate libraries. I strongly agree with what they're trying to do, but the whole free aspect of it somehow brings in all the trash off of the street, sullies the books and encourages the destitute to camp out in corners. They had an English area which had a great section on Japan, as well as a section where they seemed to bring in a bunch of the best-sellers (a la Da Vinci Code). There was what looked to be a small but popular biography section, though all I can remember was seeing Judge Judy's "Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining" before moving on. There was also a CD section in the basement that Will was browsing, though it looked dated, grimy, and packed with old people.

So I moved on and biked back up to Umeda. I found out where I could buy contacts (I need new ones soon). I had decided to wait until I got here before buying them, because in Hong Kong they were really cheap and they would test my eyes for free each time I bought them. Here they were cheaper than home, but they wanted to charge me 5,000 yen just for the check-up, so I declined and am going to keep looking. I promise this won't become another big side-plot, I'm bored already.

Friday, work was funny. For some reason most of the students decided not to show up and my schedule was listed as:
VOICE - Free Class - VOICE - 1 student - 3 students
No one showed up for the first voice, so I had two hours where I just stamped flyers for the staff and read a magazine. There are some free magazines here that are for English-speakers in Japan... Kansai Time Out, Japanzine, etc. They seem to be surprisingly anti-Japanese and sometimes take that stupid British expatriate attitude that you see around the world of "we're superior to the locals".

Right before my last class, the staff came to me and said that for my last class I have to speak really slowly and that Kazuko was "really nervous". Kazuko is what Franky from work refers to as a Nova Superstar. A Nova Superstar is a student who comes to classes all the time, but is so nervous that they are unable to move on to the next level, so they just keep doing the lessons over and over again. It seems horrible. To make this worse, they also made me announce to another student of that class, Masamichi, that he had passed and was moving onto the next level (without having even completed half the lessons, he was just that good). I got to the class and went through the exercises. Of course, Masamichi was acing everything (it all comes down to how brave they are to participate in the activities with confidence). Kazuko, on the other hand, shook whenever I talked to her or whenever she tried to give me an answer. At the end of the class, I tried to slip Masamichi the note saying that he was being upgraded without anyone else noticing, but pulled a big "Wha?? What could this be?!!" and the other two students crowded around him and made a huge congratulatory commotion. I didn't want to see Kazuko's reaction so I rushed out of there and scurried down the hall to the teacher's lounge.

That night, I had to go to bed early so that I could get up at 5:30am the next morning to be in a movie. I don't know if I mentioned this already (probably), but last weekend someone approached me in the Nanba subway station and asked if I'd like to be in a Japanese/German film Saturday for 9,000 yen, they needed 200 Caucasian males and I agreed.

Anyway, that night I read my book to make me sleepy, it's a fail-safe method. I'm getting to the end of my book, a Bill Bryson title called The Lost Continent about his travels in small-town America, I recommend it. If I finish it this week, as predicted, then I will have finished it in an astonishing two months. Sagoi (wow).

So I didn't sleep much. I probably fell asleep at 1:30am and woke up again at 3:30am, knowing that I had to be up in two hours and unable to comfortably go back to sleep. Despite being awake so early, I was still late arriving for the 6:40am pick-up at Umeda postal office. I was supposed to meet Australian Mark there, but he had already left on the first bus so I had to take the third one (for the late-comers).

The movie was being filmed on Shikoku Island, about a two and a half hour drive away. The fact that it was being filmed on Shikoku was the biggest reason that I was going. I wanted to visit that island anyway and this was a free trip. Driving out of Osaka was tedious, the city goes on forever. We passed over "the longest suspension bridge in the world", which connected Shikoku to another island, I believe, though I'm still not sure of the credibility of this claim. It didn't necessarily seem that long and I had heard the exact same claim about Tsing-Yi bridge in Hong Kong (it's shown somewhere in the January photos of my HK pictures - www.hku.8m.com - Tsing Yi hike with Jason). Maybe there's just different criteria, I don't know.

Shikoku was really impressive, I hadn't realized how urban Osaka was until then. Osaka, as I'd explained before, just stretches on as city in every direction for hours... this municipality has more than a third the population of Canada. Shikoku was beautiful, full of endless hills with different coloured trees. Apparently, Canada is known for its fall because of the turning of the leaves, but Japan has been more impressive than I ever remember Canada being for it. Probably because most of their trees are not pine trees.

The movie set was great. It's going to be called Bartu no Gakuen (Bart's Paradise) and we played German prisoners in a p.o.w. camp. Here's the plot:

During World War I, Germany, for some reason, sent some troups into China. These troups were crushed and rounded up by the Japanese and tossed into prison camps around this area. This one Japanese general, however, was really kind to the German prisoners, letting them sing and play the violin. That's about it, as far as I can tell. It stars some famous Japanese actor and a famous German actor, the guy who played Hitler in a recent German film called Hitler.

They had us change into costumes right away. I was a German sailor! Mark was dressed as some kind of German commando. I took some pictures and will upload them when I figure out how. The camp was pretty well-done too, it looked real, though it was my first time in a Japanese prison camp circa 1916. Our scenes basically just involved us standing around in the courtyard and various things happening (i.e. role call, speeches by the general, and so on). There was a big scene at the end where they announce the war is over and we all throw our hats up in the air and celebrate and I'm excited to see this scene because I think it primarily features me since I made an effort to keep eye contact with the camera the whole time.

They gave us Bento boxes for lunch. For part of the day, Mark and I snuck off to explore (as I like to do around movie sets) and we found a warm little building that was set up like a bar that was empty, so we just sat around there. Soon enough, we were joined by the main German actors who sat next to us and started to play cards. I got some sneaky close-up photos with my phone of Hitler, who was sitting right next to me. He really looks like him in person. Suddenly, a Japanese film crew burst in, they were filming the behind-the-scenes shoot of the movie and seemed to think that we were among the big actors, so they wanted us to act naturally and carry on our conversation. Mark and I discussed as inappropriate topics as possible, so we're hoping it makes it onto the Special Features section of the DVD.

Walking around off-set was funny. The locals there had obviously had little to no contact with foreigners and as we were walking around in costume, they made enough of a commotion to make it clear that they thought we were big Hollywood actors. Mark has bright blond hair so he really sticks out, and as we were passing a crowd of old ladies, they broke out into applause.

At the end of the day, we all lined up to collect our 9,000 yen. They had a massive envellope of cash and were just handing it out and I could have easily lined up four or five times, though I only did it once. I wonder how many people did go through a second time, though. The ride back to Osaka took forever. We hit rush hour traffic (6pm) and it was took about four hours total in a cramped minibus (so full that there were people sitting in the aisles). I'm lucky I had barely consumed anything that day, I don't know how these people can function without abundant highway rest-stops.

So it was about 8pm when we arrived back in Umeda. There's more, but my time just ran up on the computer here, so I'll continue again tomorrow.

Getting into my 5-9 Schedule

2005-12-02T00:00:00.000+09:00

It's Thursday night and it's getting towards the end of my first real work week. Seriously.

I'm already into a basic routine. I wake up in the morning and toss about. I now sleep in a lot later than I used to nowadays - maybe it's the loss of jetlag, maybe it's all that beer I drank the night before, I don't know. Next I have some orange juice and a slice of bread with peanut butter on it. I'm not sure if it's due to the fact that the bread is ridiculously thick here, but it takes me a good half hour to get through that piece of bread.

Next I shower, shave, and get into my business attire. I put my suit on a good six hours before my shift actually starts since I don't want to have to come back home to do so. I also enjoy walking around in a suit all day, for the time being. It makes me feel a lot older and lets the Japanese people know not to mess with me since I'm an important businessman. Actually, whenever I pass by a mirror, I'm always so shocked to see how young I am. I keep forgetting for some reason - probably the fact that I'm probably among the youngest white people in Osaka.

Every day in the morning or early-afternoon, I go down to Umeda (business-ish district, northern downtown - I'm going to stop explaining this, so take note this time). I try to complete at least one activity from my long list of things to do, as well as use the internet and find something to eat. I catch the train to Ibaraki-Shi (where I work) around 3:40pm for my 5pm shift, giving me plenty of time to eat again once I arrive and try to prepare a little for my lessons.

The lessons sometimes just fly by. I'm still a little awkward sometimes, but the students like when I tell them that I find teaching and Japan very scary and it seems to put everyone at ease. I'm starting to get a lot of repeat students and I sometimes remember them. They definitely remember me, which has made me realize how well the students and teachers get to know each other. I kind of assumed that it was a pretty formal relationship, in the sense that they forgot each other after the lesson was over, but no. They know all the other teachers by name and description and they know that I'm the "new guy".

OK, I'm going to backtrack to my daytimes. Monday I went to the Osaka Foreigners' Employement Office (called Hello Work). I wasn't quite sure what to expect since no one I'd talked to had ever heard of it. I showed up in my suit and they seemed surprised to see me. It was full of Japanese-looking people talking to other Japanese-looking people. Someone who could speak English sat down with me and explained that since I don't speak Japanese I have no business being there and gave me a map to the Working Holiday Visa office.

Tuesday I went to the Working Holiday office. I don't like how the Japanese deal with the Working Holiday program. They seem to view it as a big money-making tourism situation. On one hand, they don't want foreigners working here, but on the other hand, they want their money. So the deal is, to get the visa you have to pretend that you're going to Japan to travel and spend money and the whole working part of it is just to sponsor your travels. They actually had me make up an itinerary of where I was going to visit.
Anyway, I got to the small WHP office, (which was fairly far away). They told me that I could have a look around but if I wanted to do anything with them I would have to pay a registration fee of 1050 yen. I said I'd think about it and took a look at their job listings for foreigners. There were a number of listings of schools looking for full time English teachers, a couple of "caring for the elderly"-style positions that are usually taken by underpriveleged foreigners, and the information to be an extra in that German movie that I was asked to be in (if I haven't talked about it already - I can't remember - I'll get to it later). There was another WH visa-holder there, a dorky guy from Prince Edward Island, who, upon finding out that I was from Nova Scotia, indicated that we were "neighbours". Apparently, he'd been in there trying to find work for three weeks and still hadn't found anything. Needless to say, I was disappointed with the Working Holiday office and left without paying the registration fee.

So, back to work, I'd been having mixed feeling about my co-workers. On Friday I had somehow been led to believe that I had met them all and was satisfied, though I met a swarm of others this week (at least seven more) and don't like most of the new additions so much. There is Dani, a large and imposing Australian woman who I had overheard mumblings about, she's a block trainer, which is a position that, I'm told, can only be acquired by having a really horrible personality and ratting out your co-workers whenever you find them doing something outside of Nova's strict guidelines. She's probably about 38 and seems to enjoy getting into other people's business. There's Adrian, an Australian smart-ass. Lee is a black guy from Chicago and I haven't seen enough of to form a full opinion. Adrian seems to really look up to Lee. Rebecca is from Virginia, has dark-rimmed glasses and seems nice enough. I just met Haydn today, a 30s-something Australian guy who seems like a good guy. Who else... I met a Scottish guy, a guy named Hsiang (pronounced Shawn) and a girl named Sue, though they're all gone now. Actually, a lot of them are gone now. For some reason, the majority of the teachers at my school left this week, I think some were transfered to other schools and some went home. Tim, the area manager, had his last day yesterday.

And then there's the staff. As far as I can tell there are four female fulltime Japanese staff members. I don't know if they're speaking English when they talk to us, I really can't tell. I definitely hear Japanese words and can't make out what they're trying to say. Other teachers need to translate for me, I guess they're used to both the accents and the Japanese words. Whenever English conversations are going one while they're in the room they keep saying "Nani?" (meaning "what?") in an attempt to join in. There is Erina, Mio, one whose name I can't remember, and the manager, Tomi. Tomi is about my age and I'm afraid of her. Some of the teachers have taught her some vulgar English language and she uses it constantly, to the effect of "Ryan, do you like S&M?" And this is our manager. Surprisingly, though, the staff seem to be running things efficiently and effectively.

Our school is pretty nice. It's on the second floor of an open building with an escalator which also hosts a bank. Inside Nova, it's bright and clean. There's a reception area, little booths where placement tests can be taken, a little sales area with books and stuffed Nova Usagis (Nova's mascot - the pink rabbit). Further down the hall, there's a multimedia section where students can take live lessons from the multimedia centre, the voice room and the Nova Kids room (kids come for 40-minute sessions similar to an English daycare, parents often watch, laughing, from the window). Further back there are the ten or so tiny glass classrooms.

Wednesday after work (which ends at 9pm), Franky (from Pittsburgh) asked if I wanted to come out with them drinking. It was me, Franky, Rebecca and Tim (it was his last day), and the Japanese staff was going to meet us there once they finished up for the day. We went to an izakaya (Japanese-style bar) near our school and I was really impressed.

It was called something like Wahati and was on the 4th or so floor of a building. When the elevator door opened, you stepped in and took off your shoes. The place looked kind of like dark wooden caverns where dwarves might live. There were little wooden lockers for our shoes, and they locked by removing a wooden disk with holes carved into it (don't ask me how it worked). Each table is in its own room and there are cushions on the floor, and beneath the table the floor drops, so there's a place to put your legs.

We sat down, ordered some beers and some food items. I ordered the teriyaki chicken naan. I also tried some little dried fish (given at the beginning like peanuts) that were possibly ancoves (though I don't really know what anchoves are). It was really good to drink and talk with them. They told me a lot about the way things are here and so on. The Japanese staff arrived one-by-one as they finished their workload and we all drank and conversed until we had to leave for the last train. There were other big groups of Japanese people there and they were really loud, it was really funny to hear. The staff talked to us in mostly Japanese and there are some things I've been able to piece together, and others that I just ask them about. Their English is really quite bad. There was also a Japanese guy there who I'd never seen before. He had decent English (he went to university in California) and I was told he used to work as Nova staff but quit a while ago. Then he was in there working again today, so I don't know what's going on. Anyway, I think that Wednesday evening was the most Japanese experience I've had yet.

After the bar, I got on the last train back to Osaka with Franky, Erina and the Japanese guy. Franky has been here for four months and has picked up a number of Japanese phrases. He was pretty intoxicated and invited me to continue drinking with him in Umeda, but I had to go home to bed. Franky started saying a few improper things in Japanese and made Erina and the other guy laugh. While still on the train, Franky yelled something out at the top of his lungs in Japanese. "ShhhhhhH!!!!!!!!!" the guy who had studied in L.A. said, looking worried. Apparently Franky had yelled out a really vulgar expression for saying "I'm pissed off!". The train was full of people and everything went silent (not that there was much commotion going on otherwise). Some of the passengers looked over with concerned or disapproving expressions, though many just sat, staring ahead. One rebellious teenager struggled to maintain his composure, but burst out laughing. This reminds me of a story my roommate Will had told me about rapping on the subway and how the other passengers just completely pretend it's not happening and stare straight ahead. It seems like the longer Nova teachers are here, the more liberal they are in making a fools of their selves in public. I can feel it in me already, it's strange. I think it's because you know you're an outsider and you will never be one of them. In most circumstances, no one will react to whatever you do, so it kind of makes you feel like no one can see you and you can act however you want. I know it sounds stupid but you'd understand if you lived here for a while.

So, today I went to Umeda as usual. Today's tasks were to find out where to buy contacts and to get my memory stick burned so that I can start taking pictures again. I still haven't used my camera since I've arrived, though I've taken some with my phone, but have had trouble posting them.

Next I went for lunch at a restaurant called "Vie de France". French food? you ask. Well not really. It seems that the Japanese often group all foreign food together, so menu items often cross borders. For example, my sandwich today at the French place was "spicy taco meat on naan". It was delicous.

Yesterday I got a phone call from an American who had studied with me in Hong Kong, so we figured out the whole phoning system. If you want my number, let me know. While I was on the phone with him, I went outside of YahooBB and was leaning up against a wall. A Japanese couple came up to me, laughing. "Kawaii," the man said and pointed at me. He was possibly drunk, though it was hard to tell, "kawaii", the woman agreed. I had no idea what they were talking about. "Wakalimasen," I replied, indicating I didn't understand. Then the man pieced together some broekn English, pointed at me and said "Pretty eyes". I later asked the other Nova teachers what kowaii means. They told me it means "strange". Then I told them the story and they said, oh, "KAwaii", and apparently it means "cute". Hmm, Japanese people can be so kowaii.

Anyway, I have to get home to bed, I wasted too long on the internet here again. Saturday morning I have to get up bright and early to be an extra in a German movie. A guy approached me in the subway about it last weekend and said they're looking for 200 Caucasians aged 20-50 and will pay 9000 yen for a day of shooting on Shikoku Island (2 and a half hours away). We have to meet at 6:40am and although it sounds too early and long, it might be a good experience so I'm going to try to do it. Australian Mark from orientation also said that he may go, but I'm really wondering how they're going to scrape together 200 Caucasian men in Osaka.

Today after work I had a beer with Haydn at the train station before catching the train. He had just been on three weeks' vacation since his parents came to visit and he had taken them all over the place apparently. He's in his 30s and said that he quit his engineering job to move here a few years ago and likes it and will be here for another couple of years, he thinks.

Oh, and it's December. I love December.

Ryan

Photo Test!

2005-12-01T23:55:00.000+09:00

Ada, the pictures aren't showing up. I need more help.

Address & Weekend!

2005-11-29T20:09:00.000+09:00

As a response to the heavy requests (probably because of my and Jesus' upcoming birthdays, ahem), here's my mailing address:

Ryan Smith
532-0012 Osaka-Fu
Yodogawa-Ku
4-17-9 Kikawahigashi
#615 Lions Mansion Shin Osaka Dai 6
JAPAN

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My weekend
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I had a great weekend. Wait, have I told you about Friday already? Ah yes. Alright, so as you may recall, my trainride home had rendered me yenless and I wasn't sure how I was going to get back into town to use the internet to transfer money online into my chequings account to be withdrawn. It's all a vicious cycle leaving me trapped at home. Luckily, my roommate Chris was able to lend me 200 yen so I could catch the train in from Juso. Chris has a shoebox full of change in his room, I'll have to remember this when things get tight... Actually, I created a secret change stash of my own, so that won't be necessary.

I went window-shopping for a glamourous bicycle and found just that. Actually, every bike in Osaka seems to be exactly the same. They all have the kick-stand, just one gear, a basket in the front and one of those little bells that make you feel tough. The shinier they are, the higher they're priced. After checking out a few stores, I settled for a moderately-shiny one for 6,000 yen.

That afternoon I met up with Steve. He can speak functional Japanese and he helped me get my key copied (which I am planning to hide somewhere in my neighbourhood - up a tree, if possible). We visited some of the bars in the Umeda area, one of them was a shot bar where I tried my first Irish whiskey, called Tullamore Dew, which was tasty. We later met up with some friends of his who are participating in the Jet program and had come into Osaka for a concert of sorts. I'm a little jealous about this Jet program, it sounds really good (300K yen/month, heavily subsidized accomodations, Japanese government-funded orientation) and is a much more prestigious program than Nova, but Nova was the only means by which I could go to Japan in November and be pretty much guaranteed placement in a big city.

Actually, in retrospect, I kind of hit the jackpot with Nova. I had originally been planning on teaching with Geos, which I had been told is much higher quality than Nova, but accidentally slept through the third part of the interview. Unfortunatley for Geos, they had already eliminated everyone else in the group interview and thought that I was surely their man, but apparently they were very wrong. I wrote them a letter of apology but never heard back. Well I'm glad I didn't. I haven't yet seen one Geos school anywhere in the city of Osaka (whereas Nova is everywhere) so I probably would have been placed in some kind of two-horse fishing village in the middle of the country- ok, so maybe they fish in a pond. Jen said it was fate and I guess it may have been her reporter's intuition and not just trying to get me to shut up.

Anyway, Steve and the Jet people were going to a club with a $35.00 CDN covercharge and that's still horribly outlandish to me, so I caught the last train to Juso. From Juso I decided to have a footrace with myself and sprinted as fast as I could home, the current record is 7 minutes, 23 seconds. Here in Osaka I feel like enough of an outsider that I have absolutely no problem flailing my arms around and running as fast as possible through the middle of the streets, people will still look at me with an equal amount of curious suspicion as always. I'm not sure if I told this story already, but my roommate Will said the people here are blind to the ways of the Westerners. He said that sometimes on on a full but quiet subway, Chris will just start beatboxing and he'll erupt into a freestyle rapping session and no one even bats an eye.

On that note, I was walking down the street earlier Saturday morning and a man was sitting in his car reading a newspaper, as they often do here. He glared at me suspiciously and as I approached he locked his car doors and sat back. Lucky him, too, since I had my crowbar on me and was looking for a Japanese man to beat up and rob, as I often tend to do. I guess I now know how minorities sometimes feel in North America. Sunday night, also, I was trying to politely ask for directions from a woman, who, instead of responding, took off running.

Sunday I decided to try out the new bike and made my way down to the riverside. The goal for the day was to get my bike down to the Shinsaibashi (southern downtown) area so that I could stay out past midnight (when the trains stop running) and then bike home. At the riverside I found my way up a hill to a set of stairs that led to the sidewalk along one of the many bridges that cross the Yodobashi (though this is the main one which has eight lanes of highway and carries my subway line). I cruised down the sidewalk, clenching the sidebar whenever a bike or person passed so that neither of us would get thrown into high-speed traffic.

My riverside has a walking path, baseball fields and then a bit of a strange boggy area that you wouldn't expect to see in such a central part of a large city. Getting to the other side was a bit of a shock, since there were little huts made of sheet metal and a man sitting in a pile of junk on a hill. It was obviously a sketchy part of town, but at least I wasn't going through at night-time (there's a little foreshadowing for you).

After passing through another neighbourhood into Umeda, I parked my bike and spent the afternoon there, exploring and mixing in with the weekend crowds. I really like seeing the youth all over the streets here and am now very thankful that I have weekends off, since that's when they're all out in their full glory. I met a group of Japanese goths and requested they let me take a picture with my phone, I'll upload it if I can figure out how. Also, Friday night at my work's train station there were a few groups of Japanese rebel teenagers playing the guitar and singing, I'd like to get a video of it because Japanese people can be so... adorable, I guess the word would be.

When it was starting to get dark I biked down to Shinsaibashi to drop off my bike. I passed through another red light district and am confused since I've now wandered into at least five around the city. I passed into another part of town that was actually beautiful. It was the first beautiful part of Osaka that I have seen. The clean street was lined with golden trees, there were little statues along the sidewalk and untacky Christmas-style lights draped over the lamp-posts. There were a few official-looking buildings, one possibly being city hall, and I passed over a nice-looking river that made me finally understand how Osaka was once called the "Venice of the East". Not that that kind of term is used selectively - it's also been named the "Manchester of the East" in reference to its industrial beauty.

I also came across the Hard Rock Cafe and after a few blocks was surprised to see that I had been on the avenue that later became the main strip of Shinsaibashi. Now everything that I had seen in scattered bits while emerging from subway stations around the city was finally coming together into one giant map.

There's always a lot going on in Shinsabashi at night time. Despite the sidewalks being packed, ther was a bride and groom walking down the middle with a cameraman filming them. I parked my bike among the many parked along the road. I always try to pick a point on the street to remember it by, since all bikes basically look the same. Mine, however, is of the unique brand-name "WendyCycle" so at least I have that. WendyCycle makes a fine bike. Actually, it's pretty rickety, but that's alright.

I took the train back home partially to get some supper and change, but mostly because I had nothing to do for a few hours before I was supposed to meet up with Mark, Justin & Jacquie. I probably ate sushi, I don't really remember these things anymore though. Ugh, tonight I bought some sushi at the local grocery store. Trying to find the least dangerous-looking roll, I got one with what I thought was chopped up peanuts in the middle, but it definitely wasn't. I have no idea what it was, but it's wet, gooey, tastes bad and looks like chopped-up peanuts. And please don't mention the fact that no one would make sushi with chopped-up nuts inside, I know.

That night I met up with Mark at Badaboushka's (or something like that), a fairly good-sized bar that provides free pool and darts if you purchase drinks. The pool tables were full so we tried our hands at darts. Apparently, the game of darts exists in Australia, because Mark was able to destroy me (it was my first time playing, though I'm on my way to becoming a darts wizard).

Afterwards we met up with Justin & Jacquie at the swanky Riverside Restaurant where they were on an all-you-can-drink deal with a slew of Nova teachers and staff from their school in Kongo. Jacquie and I have been discussing what to do for New Year's and have started thinking up ideas for some kind of Christmas dinner. Apparently, Nova is still operational through Christmas, though since Christmas Eve and Day land respectively on Saturday and Sunday, I happen to get both off.

Around 11:30, Jacquie and Justin both had to take their train back (but not me) and Mark luckily lives with a five minute walk and didn't have to rely on any transportation. We wandered around for a while, had a Kirin (good Japanese beer) in an Olde English pub, then headed up to Dotonburi to that 280 bar where I had gone last Saturday with Zoe and Suzanna. To refresh your memory, all items in the bar cost 280 yen (294 with tax) and that covers such random items as medium or large beers, skewered chicken hearts (luckily they have an English menu because the pictures look good), mixed drinks, frozen strawberries, various other skewered parts of a chicken, and "bowl of boiled cabbage (second helping free)".

After leaving, the streets were pretty empty and we were approached by a lone woman offering "massaji". Since the streets were so dead I decided to try to bike back at top speed and set another record, though I'm a still a little worried about bike use here. Helmets don't exist, which I guess is good since I hate wearing them, so I have to be extra careful not to crack my head open (versus in Canada, where I have been hit by a car while riding a bike twice).

Everything went well until I got back to the bridge area. I figured that rather than making my way through the dodgy riverside possibly hobo-infested area, I'd just take the shortcut up the overpass upon which cars drive. HUGE mistake. It was four lanes heading in one direction which started out calmly until I got about five minutes along. After a "close call" with what looked to be a car scene out of the movie "The Fast and the Furious", I hopped off my bike and walked it along a narrow strip between the road and a concrete wall I was likely going to be crushed up against. I came to a platform that I could use to cross over to the traffic heading in the opposite direction and took it, thinking it would raise my chances of survival by having the cars at my back, but it just made it ever-the-more-frightening as vehicles went booming by at speeds that physically pushed me towards the rail with a big drop to the road below. I had a near-death-experience when a giant truck, refusing to give me anymore space than he thought necessary, barely brushed past me. I was so thankful to get off of that ramp alive.

Next came the hobo village that I had mentioned earlier. I was making my way towards the lone spiral staircase that I would have to carry my bike up to get onto the sidewalk. Government officials were considerate enough to place this as close as they could to the grassy bit by the river where it seems that Osaka's homeless like to camp out. As I approached, there were no longer any street lights and the area was completely dark, to add to the effect. A man was biking out of there and looked quite ogrish which made me yelp out loud and then burst out laughing. As I passed under a low overpass, I passed another character, a motorcyclist who had debarked and was holding some kind of pack and just standing there in the dark, no doubt waiting for someone to come pick it up and I really didn't want to be there when that happened. I continued on and made it to the spiral staircase, threw my bike over my shoulder and jogged up and took off.

When I got home, I told my roommate Will about it and he said that I took the wrong bridge. Apparently the bridge near Juso is completely made for cyclists. Hmm.

Alright, so it's now Monday night. Today work was easy, one of my classes was cancelled since they didn't have enough students to go around, and I also got to do voice again, which is pretty relaxed. I had good class discussions and in a lesson about nutrition I got to tell some Japanese women about why North Americans are so fat. I think I've now met all of the teachers at my school and am surprised by the number of Americans, at least six. I'm the only Canadian and there's at least one Brit and one Australian. One of the staff (administrative front desk staff, they're all Japanese) told me that one of my students complained that I speak too quickly. I know just who it was, too, and it was his own fault, he wasn't listening and I think was humiliated that he never knew any answers when I called upon him. Nevertheless, I do speak too quickly and have trouble gaging how good the students' English is since it really seems to vary. The other teachers say that conversation with them gets boring once you get to know all of the students for a while, but for now things are going well and I enjoy teaching the classes more than sitting around in the teacher's room.

Anyway, now that I'm into the full swing of things, this is probably the last gigantic post that you're going to see here for a long, long time. Frankly, I don't have the time anymore, things are probably going to become routine and monotonous and there's little reason for you to be sitting here reading the same thing over and over again. There are other things I want to get done too... I went to the Osaka Foreign Work Office today and they directed me to the Working Holiday Visa Office to find second job. Also, one of the teachers at my work told me about a service that matches English teachers up with students for tutoring that pays $25/hr plus transportation. She says that they've even issued her more students than she can handle and she was able to live off of purely tutoring last month, so that sounds nice and I'm going to check it out. This paragraph has really just become me talking to myself, I'm getting really sleepy if you can't tell, and my eyes keep shutting. I don't want to become one of those Japanese people who sleep at the internet cafe (they provide blankets and pillows here), so I had better get out of here.

Ryan

P.S. In case you've forgotten, that address again is:

Ryan Smith
532-0012 Osaka-Fu
Yodogawa-Ku
4-17-9 Kikawahigashi
#615 Lions Mansion Shin Osaka Dai 6
JAPAN

Mein Address, Mein Wochenende, Mein Address

2005-11-28T23:32:00.000+09:00

2005-11-28T08:28:00.000+09:00

Ratings are getting low!! I knew I shouldn't have abandoned that towel subplot...

I had training from Tuesday to Thursday and it was exhausting. It ran daily from 1-9pm and I was training in Umeda (northern downtown area) with three others - Mark (AUS), Katie (CDN) and Claudia (AUS). It started out with just classroom lessons - they were basically teaching us how to teach and it was boring and I had trouble concentrating. Every once in a while I would snap back into it and realize that my attention span during this little bit of instruction might plot out how good of a teacher I'm going to be over the next year, but I really couldn't be bothered and just let my mind wander for most of it.

Our teacher, British Doug, however, kept calling upon us for answers, so I needed to be semi-conscious. He seemed to be teaching us the same way as he's telling us to teach the Japanese students: using the same little tricks to "keep us interested", so that was kind of funny.

Soon enough, things brightened up when we found out that we were going to be thrown right into the pool that first evening (metaphorically). We each taught half of a class and were being observed by senior teachers and we were terribly nervous. At first we relieved ourselves in thinking that these students new we were newcomers and were probably getting a free lesson out of it, but then we were told not to let on that we were new and realized that they're all regular paying customers. It was bone-chilling...

The lessons are set up like so: Introduction, Assessment & Focus, Language Input, Tune In, Listening Exercise, Activities 1&2, Application, Wrap-Up. I know that makes no sense to you, but we're basically just given a "teacher's manual" and told to go teach a class and improvise while we frantically read up on what we're going to teach while we're teaching it.

We get to pick the topic of what we're going to discuss - each level (there are 7-8 English levels) has its own set of lesson choices. I tried to pick topics that I thought I knew a lot about, so my lessons are usually about movies or traveling.

I was really impressed with my first class. There were four students (the classes are maximum 4) and their ages/genders were approximately/probably 23M, 17F, 42M, 30F. As I said, I was really impressed with them. Not, by any means, because of their English level, but they were just so interested in learning English. I had their full attention and they were terribly intimidated by me. No one tried talking to their classmates and they would start taking notes as soon as I'd open my mouth.

So the first class went by smoothly and we had been given plenty of preparation and cool-down time. We had a dinner break where Claudia, Katie, Mark and I went to Subway (which is horrible here, for the record-- unless you want a shrimp & hot dog sub on sesame).

I like the group I'm learning with. It's fairly balanced in that we have two male, two female, two Canadians, two Australians, two who will be teaching part-time, two full-time, two living in Osaka proper, two living far away... it makes for a sense of equality. They made us practice teaching on each other and I was surprised that I was probably the least comfortable with it, but I seemed to feel the most comfortable with teaching the actual Japanese people.

Wednesday they threw us head-first into the deep end (again with the swimming analogies). But that wasn't until the evening. In the afternoon I taught another class which went quite smoothly - swimmingly, I should say. My topic was movies and I told them about how I was planning on seeing the new Harry Potter movie that weekend and one of my students elaborated on how the Harry Potter series is her favorite. It was an all-girls class, which I really like because they seem to be more eager to participate and giggle a lot whenever anything awkward occurs. One of them told the class about her favorite movie, "Regarry Brond". Regarry Brond is about Reese Witherspoon becoming a rawyer. I liked it to, Sadako.

At the beginning of each class I write down all of the students' names and constantly repeat them whenever I want them to speak. I accidentally turned my list upside-down this class and mistakingly kept calling Rumiko "Sadako" and she would say "But I am Rumiko" and I would laugh nervously.

We also sat in on "Voice" for a little bit. Each Nova school has a Voice room, where students can pay about $20 and sit in for the day. They cycle through the teachers and always have someone sitting in there discussing various topics with the students. There were about ten of them in there that day and they sent all four of us trainees in at once. Doug told them that we're all new instructors and the voice attendees were delighted and had plenty of questions for us about our home countries. An old woman had me all to herself and we discussed things that she suggested that I do here in Osaka and told me about her business trip to Wisconson a few years back. She also explained to me where my school was and how to get there. I really liked voice and hope that I'll get to do a fair bit of it later on.

We went for sushi for dinner and this was my first time having real Japanese sushi. It was as thick as an arm and really tasty. We ate it in a commonly set-up restaurant where all the stools are around the area where the chef prepares your sushi. We all asked for Coca-Cola and they explained to us that they only have sufficient Coke for two fo us and the rest of us would have to drink orange juice.

In the evening we had to teach two classes back-to-back, with only ten minutes in between to mark all of our students from the first class and get things ready for the second. I found this horribly difficult and bombed both of these classes. After my first one, the observer criticized me on the fact that there were all kind of dead silences where the students were just staring at me while I frantically tried to figure out what to do next. I guess knowing how the lessons work is something that gets easier with time.

In the second class I had a Brazilian (they exist as the biggest non-Asian minority in Japan, though this is the first one I have encountered). He couldn't understand anything I was trying to say and things were so hectic that I had to wave in the Australian observer to take over. She flew through the class with ease, it was really impressive and the students seemed to be enjoying it and laughing at (somehow understanding) her jokes. She was really direct with them and instead of saying something like "Hiroki and Norohiro, you will be partners in this activity" she would just point at two of them and say "Together". Ooh, the simplicity, I definitely talk way too much.

Thursday morning I went jogging, remember that for later...

The third day things went far better. We taught two sets of back-to-back classes and they weren't too bad. We went to a restaurant called First Kitchen for dinner and I ate some kind of Terriyaki Chicken Pizza with seaweed on top that was pretty bad. I really like the fact that I'm not loving the food here, I think I've already started losing weight and have been eating whatever I want whenever I want. I think the key thing is that I don't keep any food at home (except for orange juice, bread and peanut butter for breakfast) so I'm never snacking. It was like the early days of Hong Kong before I figured out how to bargain with the Filipino grocery store ladies for cheap muffins.

To simplify things in my second-last lesson, I did the movie theme again. I had only two students in this class, an old woman who had recently seen "Saving Private Ryan" (or "Pulivetu Lion", as she called it) and a younger woman whose favorite movie was "Bewitched". We did an exercise where she had to describe the movie to the older woman and then the older woman had to describe it to me, but she was obviously not listening and completely made up the plot. I haven't seen "Bewitched", but know that it didn't involve Nicole Kidman driving around and shooting bad guys, but I let it slide.

Our last lesson of the day, we were not being observed. This felt great, and was a huge relief because that's the way that things are going to be as soon as we start teaching at our own schools (I was going to start the following day). At the end of the day, Doug allowed us to ask any questions we had about Nova or Japan in general and that was great. We got him to tell us exactly how much the students are paying, which is kind of funny.

Students buy large volumes of "tickets" and each ticket allows them to come to one forty-minute class. They will buy up to 540 tickets at a time (that's about a class every two days for three years) and I think tickets end up costing around $20 each (though a bit less if you buy huge volumes). Furthermore, some students will buy up all four students' seats in their class with four tickets (so $80/40 min.) so that they can have a one-on-one session with a teacher (I've taught a couple of them, actually), which sounds a little excessive to me.

At the end of the night we asked Doug where we could go for somewhere cheap for beer and he asked us to hold on a minute. He went out and checked with some of the teachers and said that they'd take us to a really cheap bar called "The Balcony".

A few Nova teachers (I think all Australian), took us to this "Balcony", which turned out to just be a look-off in the train station downstairs with a grocery store next to it selling cheap beers, which was perfectly fine. It's overlooking an area of the train station with escalators and giant TV screens and there is a lot of movement. I got the impression that they go drink there every day after work and seems like a cheap alternative to a pub.

A Japanese businessman slyly came up next to Mark and I while we were talking and while pretending to be looking in a locker next to us, pulled out a camera and held it there, trying to get a picture of us while looking away. We posed and when he went to look at how it turned out, saw that we had seen him doing it and scurried away.

The train station security came to kick us out, which they apparently do most nights. They can't speak English, so I think it takes them a bit of courage to come up and politely say "No drink", though I'm sure some of these teachers would speak fluent Japanese. We politely moved to another secluded "balcony" in the station where, they say, no one has ever told them to leave.

Although some of the newcomers from other training sessions were going clubbing all night, we all headed home on the last trains since we were starting work the next day.

When I got home, I realized I had lost my key. "Gahhh!!!!" I exclaimed, since I had been planning on getting an extra one cut earlier that day but hadn't gotten around to it. Losing my key was horrible because not only could I not get into my building and apartment, but I had absolutely no idea how I was going to get a replacement key. We have no idea who our "landlord" is, and even if I could convince one of my roommates to lend me their key to try to get it copied, they would have no way back in and I wouldn't even know where to start to get it cut. I rang the buzzer and luckily Will was there and up and was able to buzz me in. I stomped around the apartment ranting about how horrible this was and envisioned having to survive without a replacement key for a couple of weeks, just sitting and waiting outside of the apartment for hours on end until my roommates got home. Then I decided to check my shorts. Ahh yes, I went jogging that morning (as stated far above) and had left my key in the pocket, hehehe. That night I slept well, with my training behind me, my stomach full of beer, and my key clasped tightly in my hand.

------
Friday
------

Friday I decided to open my Japanese bank account. I walked to the Jusa branch of UFJ (the big bank here) and sat down with the documentation that Nova had given me. I needed my own little signature stamp with oriental lettering to go through with it. They also needed me to write my name out in Katakana, which I did with difficulty, and had to reference Michael Jackson for the banker to understand what my middle name was.

I started work at 5pm at the Nova branch where I'll be working. It's located in Hankyu Ibaraki and I got a little lost on the way, so I was only about 10-15 minutes early instead of the hour I'd been planning for, so time was tight. Considering that, however, the lessons went smoothly. They cram five back-to-back sessions in for me between 5 and 9pm and it's actually nice to actually have all my time at work used efficiently, rather than any job I've had in the past where there's never enough to do.

This paragraph is going to sound stupid, but when I get into a bind at work, I think to what my inspiration is for teaching English. Believe it or not, it's not the money. It's more so that I've had such a hard time getting around in Japan with no Japanese that the more English I can spread among them, the easier it will be for myself and others who come after me. That kind of motivation actually works.

As a side-note, I just got a drink out of the vending machine called "Aquarius". One of the other trainees had been telling me about this drink, that they bought it from the grocery store expecting it to be some kind of water, and it's definitely not. It tastes like honey and nectar mixed in with hot sugar-water. No wonder the kids here are so buzzing with energy. I wonder why the adults seem so calm and dead inside...

Back to my first day at work, I met the other teachers there and was a little alarmed that I could easily be the youngest by five years. What are 28-year olds doing going to teach English in Japan at such an old age? Does the fact that I'm doing this six years ahead of them make me better than them? I would wager that yes, it does.

The people seemed really nice, though. An American teacher told me she lives near me and can help me out if I need to find anything. They all seemed fairly care-free and relaxed and were running the school as a team. It's a really small school (I think there was a even a period where I was the only one teaching), so that's pretty nice. The area that it's in is just another suburb of Osaka. It's halfway to Kyoto and there's apparently no break in development between the triangle of our two cities and Kobe, so we basically have city going on forever which is a little unimaginable.

After work I mistakingly took the "local" train rather than the "express" train. The express only stops a couple of times before my area whereas the local one sits and waits at every little station along the way, so I think the trip must have taken me at least 45 minutes. I went home and changed and went out to meet Mark in Shinsaibashi.

Mark had just finished his first day as well and we met to go to the Pig & Whistle, Osaka's most famous pub among the expatriate community. It was full of British-looking expats and Japanese people who wanted to associate with them. In a sense it's good to have these British communities in cities around the world who will refuse to assimilate and demand replica pubs like this one, but in a sense it's really tiring. It was a nice bar and I'll probably be going back soon, though the beer was steeply priced at 700 yen/glass.

I didn't realize until I was on my way that I only had about half an hour before I had to leave to catch the last train back. We sat down, I threw back my beer and soon enough I was on my way home, after having sworn to buy a bike the following day so I wouldn't have to rely on this transit system.

I walked briskly back to the subway station and as I approached I saw people running. Whenever you see locals running towards or away from something, it's a sign that you should be doing it too, so I sped up and jogged down the stairs ahead of them all. I paid for my ticket and at the bottom of the escalator saw the subway stopped on both sides, the last car heading in either direction. Since I didn't have time to figure out my bearings, I just plunged into a crowd of people on the one on my right, which immediately took off heading south. I turned to the guy next to me "Shinosaka?" I asked, hoping we'd be heading in the right direction. Nope. He had obviously had too much to drink and was trying to piece together a fancy English sentence, but I meanwhile heard an announcement over the subway intercom in Japanese, something about Namba (wrong direction).

The guy next to me pieced his thoughts together and told me that I was supposed to be going north and that I was taking a great gamble going south and he predicted that I would be paying a lot of money for a taxi ride home. At the next stop he told me to run and I took off running and made my way to the other platform, since people still seemed to be hanging about.

So the subway going north arrived and I thanked Jesus that I hadn't missed the last train. But then the subway just stopped in Umeda and sat there while everybody poured out and headed upstairs. So the subway was just stopping there and I figured my journey home was over and I might as well just settle with the fact that I was going to have to camp out there all night (I didn't have enough money for a cab) or make the long arduous trek home. I made plans to camp out in an all-night internet cafe that I had seen, when suddenly I saw someone running. Yes, running! Was there another way out of here? A secret train?!

And it turned out there was. I followed them a few blocks over, where we converged with more running people. The subway was finished, but everyone was trying to get the last train home. I got up into the large JR station where I found a train that was actually heading up to Shinosaka and was cheaper than the subway! I had no ideas that trains from Umeda came into my station and it landed on a platform above the subway station mall.

Just when I thought my adventure was over, I saw a really strange-looking man hobbling about in the station, what a night!

Ryan

Monday - Orientation - "Welcome to the Nova Corporation"

2005-11-24T12:37:00.000+09:00

First of all, I have a little feedback for comments I've been getting. Item the first: I am not having a bad time here. Sorry if my entries sound sad or stressed out, pretty much everything's going well. There isn't really anything that I'm too disappointed with yet and I'm really enjoying being here and think it has some good potential.

Secondly, yes, I will get some pictures up sometime soon. I actually haven't used my camera once since I arrived in Japan. I didn't want to sully my first few days here with the feeling that I had to be constantly carrying my camera around and taking pictures of anything that happens. I also wanted to get a bit of a perspective on Osaka before I started snapping photos of what I thought was representative but what would later end up not to be. Finally, there's a bit of a tendency for people who take pictures to only remember exactly those moments, so I didn't want that to happen to me in my first few days.

"Orientation"

So back to Monday, there were about 16 of us at orientation, which was held on the 19th floor of their main West Japan office in Namba...

People from my flight: Me - Justin & Jacquie - Jeremiah - Alex - Lesley & Linda
People from Saturday's Meet-up: British Zoe - NZ Susanna - Australian Claudia
New People: Canadian Katie - Australian Mark - NZ Brett - and one from California and one from Australia who I didn't really meet.

The Orientation was split up into three parts, but I can't really remember what they were. I was a little bored, at least for the first half, and there was lengthy discussion about Nova policy and such. I really don't enjoy going through all of that each time I start a new job and wish there was some way of hibernating through the first few weeks of jobs.

My roommate had told me that there were going to be free bento boxes (food) there for all of us so I made sure not to eat any lunch, but at our 3pm break I realized that the bento boxes weren't coming. I was famished so I took the 10 minutes we had to run downstairs, order a McDonald's combo and stuff as much of it down my throat as possible. I think I only got about half of it down before it was time to rush back upstairs again.

"Mushi Mushi?"

I got a cell phone at orientation from Vodafone! I'm not sure what you have to dial to call from overseas, but if you're interested then e-mail me and I'll figure it out. OK, my phone is really high-tech, comparible to the Trapper Keeper from South Park or the Matrix from The Matrix. It has its own e-mail address so I can send and receive e-mails from wherever. It has internet access - I haven't fully figured it out yet and I think it's just basic, but I was able to search google on my phone and find my blog. I can take pictures, and better yet I can take videos. It has an English/Japanese dictionary which might come in useful, and I can supposedly also tune into local radio stations, though this feature has given me trouble. And its most high-tech feature, you ask?? TV. That's right, I can watch colour TV on it from wherever - it's not perfectly clear, though I'm sure there are some Japanese scientists out there busy at work perfecting this.

I now have eight names in my address book and someone is showing me how I can get a picture of this person's face to flash up on the screen whenever they call. Last night I figured out how to take a picture of myself and then e-mail it to my hotmail address, though the best feature that I've found so far is for a cartoon bear to come up on the screen and play rock-paper-scissors (or "janken") with me. It makes me wonder what people used to do in the olden days before playing rock-paper-scissors with a cartoon bear was an everyday activity.

"Welcome to the Nova Corporation"

One thing I should note about what I've seen about Nova so far is that they definitely do seem like a big corporate company rather than a school. We're not teachers per se, we're more so customer service representatives. Instead of showing us how to actually help our students learn English, they seem to be more focused on showing us how to not offend our students, how to keep them comfortable and basically how to keep them satisfied (with the altering of their English level being a side-benefit).

"Chinese Food & Trolley Bar"

When the orientation came to an end and the bento box was officially not coming, some of us decided to go get something to eat and drink. I went to a Chinese restaurant with Katie, Justin, Jacquie, Brett and Susanna. There was no English so I tried out my Cantonese, but they were full-on Japanese people. After dinner, we wandered around looking for an appropriate bar. I remember how easy this used to be in Hong Kong, we would wander into HK's bar district, Lan Kwai Fong, and everything was right there on display. Things have been a lot tougher here as no one really knows their way around and things don't seem to be as easily set up. We found a number of interesting-looking pubs, but they seemed to be too small to accomodate us all. They would be literally just a bar with some stools alongside. After wandering down a few alleyways around Dotonburi, we found a pretty good one.

Walking into it felt like walking into a small 1920s drinking hole. The bartenders (both a Japanese man and woman) were like 70, which I had never seen before. We had a big old-style booth in a side of the bar had the air of being in an old-style trolley-car, somehow. Justin's Scottish roommate showed up, he was in his second week of teaching. He said that during our training week (this week) we'd say about a thousand times that there's no way we could do this and that we want to go home, but once it's all over it will be ridiculously easy. That seemed reassuring since my first impression of him was that he was someone who might have trouble doing many day-to-day activities, but I don't think that's true.

At around 9pm, we all were yawning and struggling to stay awake. Orientation really takes a lot out of a fellow. I got on the subway and headed home. I had training the following afternoon and had a lot of resting to get done!

Ryan

Tuesday Evening - Getting Busy (in the literal sense) - Boring Post about Sunday to Monday Morning

2005-11-23T16:27:00.000+09:00

Hey, I only have a little bit of time here so I'll just jot down what I can and continue on tomorrow morning.

Sunday afternoon I was exploring the food sections of the department stores here in Umeda. I bought a miniature waffle folded over some mousse for about 85 cents. They packaged it in a big white box, decorated it with stickers and taped an ice pack around it to keep it cool. I had to get out of range of sight before just pulling everything apart and eating it, but it was very kind of them.

I know the towel sidestory thinned out long ago, but I spent most of Sunday still searching. I was thrown about by numerous tricky directions and false claims, and ended up leaving Umeda towelless. I did, however, make another find of something else that had been high up on my list. In the Hankyu train station I came across a shop called "Sushi Express" that sells a wide variety of sushi-to-go, most importantly the coveted California Roll! It was half the price and twice as good as back home, reducing back home's sushi to some incalculable fraction.

So I took the train up to Juso station around where my roommate had pointed out the discount store that he said would sell towels. I found laundry detergent outside and was immediately drawn in. I proceeded up and down the aisles and was able to pick up a number of goods that I had been planning on tracking down. In fact, I was so delighted that I completely forgot what I had gone in there for. That is, until I turned down the last aisle.

There it was: the perfect towel. At 950 yen it was well within my price range and its texture soft, but not too soft, just as a towel should be. It's blue and large enough that it will make a fine toga, should the occasion ever come up.

So with my new towel, I rushed home to try it out. Now that I was officialy able to shower more than once a day, I threw on my jogging clothes and went for some cardiovascular exercise for my first time since I left home. I just looked over this paragraph and found numerous grammatical and spelling mistakes, I haven't been rereading much so I apologize since this is probably a regular occurence.

Anyway, as far as exploring a neighbourhood goes, jogging is probably the best method aside from a bike. Actually, jogging can be better in some ways because it allows you to freely go in and out of shops and blend into a crowd if need be. My main goal was to find out what Magic Bird was. Since the night I arrived I'd been trying to figure this out and my roommate somehow didn't know.

Magic Bird was a big, flashy illuminated building that had the look of a giant casino, right on the other side of the train tracks from the back of my apartment. I could see the words "Magic Bird" flashing all night long if I looked out back and can't understand why my roommates weren't at all curious. It looked fairly suspcious and I had a few theories as to what it could be...

I jogged under the tracks (there's a tunnel) and checked it out... In the first corner of the building that I had come to, it looked like some kind of Japanese diner. They were serving alcohol and the only customers were an old couple. The next corner down appeared to be a souvenir shop. I saw that they were selling women's clothing items and children's toys.

Suddenly, a big gang of people on motorcycles spun around the corner and a parking attendant waved them into an underground parking area on the other side of the building. This was getting weird. Then I found a window which made it blatently obvious... Pachinko!

Pachinko is an immensely popular form of gambling here that seems to be everywhere. I haven't yet gone into a Pachinko Parlour but it looks like it's some kind of slot machine game full of addicted looking Asian drones. The kind of gambling that sucks the life out of people. I'd like to give it a try sometime.

I was surprised to find a Starbucks with a saxophonist playing outside (my roommate says he's there in the corner every night and is just practicing) -- this really didn't seem like it fit in the neighbourhood. I found the bar called Friendly's that Zoe had mentioned the other day. I found a 100-yen shop that is three storeys and actually has some pretty good junk (mass-produced goods from China can come here more cheaply so I guess the products are better), and I found a music store/video rental shop that still rents everything in VHS! These developments all make my neighbourhood far more exciting.

Next, Will and I watched an VHS from the bad collection we have at home, an old movie called K2 about some guys who climb the infamous Himalayan mountain and I'd say you've probably figured out the entire plot with just its mention. He then cycled over to the 99 yen food shop, and I joined him on foot, running alongside. It's good to run again.

This shop has only food and everything is 99 yen (99 cents CDN) which I find bizarre. They have pastries, milk, noodles, chips, juice, and everything in the store is the exact same price. Seeing as these are all very general goods I'd think that you'd be either over- or underpaying for just about anything.

This post has gone way too long for Sunday, when basically nothing happened.

I think that Monday morning brought me my first full night's sleep since a couple days before I left Halifax. I had my Nova orientation starting at 1pm so I went out for breakfast at the European cafe at my train station that serves fresh orange juice.

Japanese restaurants are really into catering people eating alone since that's what most customers seem to be doing. It seems rare to see big tables in restaurants or cafes and a lot of places have bar-type seating all along the outside and even in the middle. The McDonald's in JR Station has a big standing section. By this I mean they have a high counter and people just go there and eat standing up while facing a wall. I laughed when I first saw it but was there at lunch time and it was immensely popular among the businesspeople.

When I got back home after breakfast I was mortified to realize that I had left my key in my shorts from the previous night's jogging escapade. I rang the buzzer but Will wasn't there. I needed to get back in before going to orietnation - I had forms to fill out and a suit to wear. I really, really didn't know what to do, actually. I really need to get a key copied so I can hide it somewhere clever. Luckily, though, Will showed up, he had been getting something from the local 7/11 and let me back into the apartment.

I put on my suit and headed down to Namba. It's almost 11:30pm and I have to go home now since I have a long day of training again tomorrow, but my next post involves Orientation (Monday) and my first day of Training (Tuesday) which is much more exciting than the long waste of everyone's time that I just typed out.

Ryan