Hey, I have great news! I didn't do anything this weekend! I just relaxed around home and strolled around and such. It was great!! Isn't my blog interesting?

Actually, I've been feeling a little sick and tired. My latest theory is that I'm lactose intolerant. Luckily, lactose is among Japan's many intolerances too (right after immigrants).

This week, one of my roommates has three Californian guests staying in our already-cramped apartment. Luckily, they've been really good guests. They all just go out all day, come home and are long gone by the time I get up.

Anyway, not too much new going on. I escaped most social activities over the past week and it feels good in my bank account. I'm trying to save some money now to put away. I'm taking on two new secret private students in the next couple of weeks. My current private student is doing great, today we learned about numbers. I felt a little disappointed, though, when she told me that she had budgeted the equivalent of $3.00 for her trip to Canada.

Oh yeah, today in Starbucks I saw a little boy with a t-shirt with French writing and in big letters it said "Fille". French, German and Italian, which are found commonplace here when a product is trying to look expensive, are usually much more mangled than English, so all that European language study of mine is finally paying off.

Remember how I mentioned that restaurants here have plastic food models in glass cases outside of their shops? Well I took some pictures of some. When I first arrived they looked disgusting. Now they look delicious.

Yes, that's a $30.00 sundae on the top row. It makes the $8.50 sundae beneath it sound like a fantastic deal. But just think, how much would you pay for a sundae back home?

Japanese Food!

Omelets filled with rice (called Omeraisu) are massively popular here. And pretty good. This all may seem pretty edible, but I was a little terrified by the food here when I first arrived. They didn't have any of the "traditional" Japanese food I was expecting (by which I mean the food that I had been led to believe was Japanese before I came). But at this point, I've really gotten used to the food options available here, and I .never think about food from back home! Ok, that's not true at all, but I am actually enjoying my options here for the time being.

Hey, it's been a really busy past couple of weeks so there's an overwhelming amount of information, but I kind of don't have time to organize it all, so I'll try to remember back to where I left off. Actually, no, that's too hard. I'm going to do this posting in reverse-chronological order, starting with next Tuesday.

"Kid's Camp"

I've agreed to help out in some kind of middle school/ high school English kids' camp on Tuesday (a Japanese national holiday). They're paying me $100! It will be interesting since I haven't really had any contact with the Japanese youth yet. I hear that schoolteachers are allowed to hit their students, so I want to take full advantage of that authority.

"My First Private Student"

Sunday I have my first real lesson with Naomi, my first private student. I mentioned last post that I was going to have a trial lesson with her to see if she liked my teaching methodology, and I guess she agreed because she's now an official pupil of mine. Her English is really, really horrible. Like really, REALLY bottom-of-the-barrel level, which is great. So I get to design a curriculum for her and all her progress will be a direct result of only my teaching. I love playing god.

"El Pancho"

Tonight I'm going to an office party at El Pancho, a mexican restaurant that you've probably heard me mention numerous times. It's strange... In a city with over a hundred thousand restaurants, this is my fourth time going to this small Mexican one in a distant part of town, always on the request of other people. I'm lucky it's so delicious. As in, best Mexican food ever (and that's saying a lot for Asia).
I wouldn't have gone to this event (my co-worker's birthday party) but I'm really, really trying to make an effort to get on the good side of my co-workers. I got off to a really bad start (being really awkward and overly focused on my job) when I first arrived and it hasn't all fixed itself over time like I expected it to. Not that I particularly need or want them as friends, but it would make things a lot more relaxed at work and probably be for the best for everyone. And it will probably be fun anyway.

"Kyoto University"

Today I went to do research at the library of Kyoto University (one of the best in the country). It took me four trains and a couple of hours to get there and back, and when I arrived at 4:58pm, it was JUST closing and I had to turn around and go home. It's ok, though. At least I got to ride a lot of trains. I like riding trains.
If you're wondering why I would be doing research, it's for a thesis proposal for a Japanese scholarship I'm applying for. Just to let you know, this scholarship application is probably going to be a very long, drawn-out plotline over the next couple of months, so if you think you're going to find that boring, I suggest not checking up on my blog until the summer.

"The Japanese Irish"

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. I brought it up in all five of my classes, and no students here had ever heard of it. I guess none of them are of Irish descent. That's funny because everyone claims to be of Irish-descent back home. I don't know why. Most people are primarily English or French, but nobody wants to admit it. Especially me. I found out last summer that I'm something like 1/32nd Norwegian and I've been playing that up whenever anyone asks me where my family comes from ("Well, I was born in Canada, but my ancestors were vikings. Raping, pillaging, massacring, flesh-eating vikings.")

"Good Feedback"

The head teacher at my school told me yesterday that I've been getting a ton of good feedback from the students. This is rare, apparently. But I'm kind of not surprised at all. Since I only work part-time, I'm still really enthusiastic and having a great time for every lesson, so the students enjoy it and have fun. Also, I think I'm starting to learn more what they have problems with and how to explain things to them. I'm really, really great.

"Meeting the Neighbours and the Revival of Poker in Lions Mansions"

I may have mentioned long ago that I have never seen another foreigner in my building. There were age-old legends that there are two other Nova apartments in our building, three girls on the 8th floor and three guys on the second floor. I thought that these were just fables, but it turns out that they're at least half-true.

As you know, we got a new roommate a couple of weeks ago from England. By chance, the guys' apartment on the second floor also got a new roommate from Australia. So, these two guys were in the same orientation and we got to go down and meet them all. Anyway, the Australian guy brought a set of poker chips and we've now had three poker games. I love it. They're all beginner to intermediate level. This is the best level to play against because they're overconfident but don't really know which hands are good and can easily be bluffed against. Anyway, I won everyone's money all three times. The next best guy, the Australian, is really cocky and thinks it's all just luck, which is great for me because he's determined to beat me (this is going to be a very expensive goal, I hope). Anyway, we've agreed to play every Monday night.

>>>>> I have to go to work, I'll continue this on Wednesday. Meanwhile, Japan's sumo wrestling league, which travels around the country and is really exciting to watch, is in Osaka now, so I hope to go see it live sometime this week. Here's a preview:

Big update coming soon...

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, things have been pretty busy and I think the past four days or so has been the longest I've gone without using the internet in years! I'll post another big update soon, but meanwhile, here is a picture of a giant spider crab from the Osaka aquarium:

These things are huge and likely pure evil.

SPRING BREAK 2006!!!!

Again, sorry for not posting for a couple of weeks (that is, if anyone is still paying attention). I'm on break now (see below) so just like in the olden days before I started working, I have time for another massive post. Enjoy.

"Taking Care of Visitors..."

Last week my brother's friend Jon stayed at my apartment for about five days. Osaka was his first stop on a big backpacking trip around Asia and luckily we had an extra room at my place as we were "between roommates". I had to work every day so I wasn't able to spend too much time with him, so apparently he got lost constantly. Someone isn't very good at following directions to the subway station and I received a number of frantic e-mails to my phone while at work.

He was a great guest, though. While we were out, he cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom sink area, organized our video collection and did our taxes. He also smuggled some maple syrup and maps into the country for me from my parents. I don't particularly like maple syrup, but I ordered a few bottles so that I could give it to people as gifts of appreciation. Everyone knows that if you help a Canadian they will give you maple syrup and I'd like to keep that dream a reality.

Anyway, I had hoped to get some touristy Osaka excursions out of the way while Jon was here and I did manage to accompany him to Osaka's biggest tourist attraction: Osakajokoen (Osaka Castle Park). Osaka Castle was originally built, I believe, during the period that Osaka was the capital of Japan (about 1400 years ago) but that building was long torn down and rebuilt over and over again. Anyway, the current structure, I hear, was built in the 1930s and revamped in 1997, so it's equipped with modern-day conveniences like elevators, just as all castles should be. Japanese castles, by the way, are not as exciting and extravagant as their European counterparts. They're more so just a big, tall, Japanese-style house-like structure surrounded by moats and stone walls and the like. Actually, below this paragraph is a really good picture of it that I just found on the internet.



The view from the top of the "castle" was pretty good (it's in the middle of the city) and the rest of the eight or so floors were a semi-interesting museum, but the part that really impressed me was the park surrounding it. Finding green space is almost impossible in Osaka and this was a decent-sized park, so I think it's going to be a nice place to come to relax in the summertime. Additionally, the stone walls and wide moats make it a very appropriate place to conduct a battle.

"...And Working Overtime"

Sunday I was called into work early in the morning for a day of overtime. I was really happy to do it since I'm very low on money (I can't wait for my first real paycheque in March). When I came in, the Japanese staff started clapping and bowing and expressing their gratitude for me having come in on such short notice. I know it's all forced appreciation, but it still feels good. I hear, though, that the opposite is expected of a teacher if we ever call in sick: the next day we're supposed to be very on edge and apologetic and express our deep sorrows formally to each member of the Japanese staff for having inconvenienced them in such a manner. I hope I never have to call in sick (and I doubt I will - I'm very strong, you know).

"Spring Break 2006!!!"

So adding that Sunday to my schedule doubled my workweek. That's right, this week I'm on Spring Break and was only scheduled to work on Monday. I had built up this "Spring Break" by doing shift swaps (trading shifts and working for other teachers in weekends past) and having everyone else work for me this week. Back in January, disillusioned with the concept of the amount of money I'm making, I thought I'd be able to go traveling this week. I somehow envisioned myself, after having put some spare cash away towards paying back my student loans, having some leftover funds to travel.

At first I had intended to spend this week in Palau. You probably don't know what Palau is, but it's an island-nation east of the Philippines with a tropical climate, a very small population, a big lake full of giant stingless jellyfish, some of the best underwater sights in the world, and a relatively untouched tourism infrastructure. But God no, after checking out flight prices, that idea was dropped a long while ago.

Then I thought I'd make my way back to Hong Kong. I could get a relatively cheap flight, stay in my old university residence fairly cheaply, visit some old friends, eat some tasty noodles, bring back some good memories - but again, no. Actually, I kind of misplaced my passport for the time being... More on that later.

So I finally decided that I'd do something within Japan. Actually, I really wanted to go skiing in Nagano before the season is up. But I didn't do that. I haven't ventured past Kyoto, which is kind of too bad since having six days off in a row really doesn't happen too much to English teachers here. But I guess it's a lesson of better planning for next time.

"Bike Patrol vs. Ryan Smith"

Tuesday night I left my bike overnight at Nishinakajima-Minamigata station. I thought I was parking it in a safe area, but the next morning I jogged back to pick it up and it was gone. No, it wasn't stolen, this is Japan. It was picked up by an anonymous Japanese government force that I have heard of, and is allegedly being detained at what has been described to me as "Bike Prison". You see, although bikes are very widely used here and are parked all over the place, you need a permit to park anywhere. I, of course, don't understand anything, but it's been explained to me that only a very limited number of permits are available, so everyone just parks illegally every day in places where they see lots of other bikes parked (this makes theirs look more discreet). Randomly, government officials will patrol an area -- they are clad with jackets that have big "NO BICYCLE" symbols (a no smoking symbol but with a bicycle instead of a cigarette) and they tag bikes to be hauled away to bike prison. Once in bike prison, I'm told the owner needs to come and present evidence of bicycle ownership and pay a fee to get it back. It all seems like a very silly procedure to me, but maybe its benefits will be uncovered one day (things have a tendency of doing that here).

Anyway, so my bike is missing! I've had to walk and take the train everywhere! It's horrible!! Well, it's not so bad, but I want my bike back. So today I set out, determined to get it back. I asked my Japanese friends and no one knew where the holding cells were (they're different for different parts of town and everything anyone knows all seems to be mysterious-sounding hearsay). So I went to my local community office and demanded to know the homebase of the elusive bike patrolmen. There was a lot of scrambling around, frantic phone calls and butchered Japanese and English, but eventually they gave me a map. If this is accurate information, it should be in Higashi-Mikuni, the community north of mine.

"New Roommate"

As you may have known, my apartment was blessed with the arrival of a new roommate on Wednesday. We had been informed a few weeks ago that he was coming, "Mr. Adam from United Kingdom", but were told nothing more of him. When I got home Wednesday evening he had already gone to bed, but there was a half-open bottle of scotch on the dinner table and my other roommate said that "he was cool". I started eating the apple I had purchased the previous day (apples are a big purchase here - the very cheapest are about $1 each in a grocery store, though they're so juicy and delicious that they're worth it) and the new roommate emerged from his room, half-asleep and very confused (possibly a little drunk?).

Anyway, he seems like a decent guy. Coincidentally, he comes from Halifax (though not the real one, the original in England - henceforth referred to as Halifax 2). He took an English teacher's training course and taught in Prague for a while and has done a lot of traveling. But like most teachers here, he's 27 or 28 or something ludicrous like that... so, so old. I think I remember when my mother was that age. Actually, no, I think I remember her turning 30, but still, it's getting weird to think that I'm almost in that same age group.

I took Adam to get passport photos taken yesterday and showed him how to get to Juso. He's a friendly guy, but there's one BIG problem. Our apartment is already starting to reek of tobacco. I don't think he smokes in the house, but smokes on the balcony constantly and somehow I think it's still seeping into the apartment (STUPID HONSHU ISLAND LACK OF WEATHERING). While I was eating pizza toast and watching a bad Star Wars movie yesterday morning for about forty minutes, I think he went out for a smoke three separate times... crazy non-Canadians and their smoking habits!! Actually, I think both of the other roommates smoked but were more casual about it. Anyway, I've decided that I'm going to call Nova next week and tell them I want to change apartments.

"Tokyu Sports Oasis"

I tried to join a gym on Monday called Tokyu Sports Oasis. I've been trying to join a gym for weeks and have visited about half a dozen, but things aren't working out. For this particular one, I had gone with a Japanese friend to translate some membership issues a couple of weeks ago and I thought everything was in order, but things didn't work out. Actually, I'm really, really mad about it. I started writing a post about this a few days ago but it enraged me too much that I couldn't finish and had to jog home in a fit of rage. Good times in Osaka. Actually, I'll try to explain it quickly while maintainig my composure...

I went to this gym two weeks ago, it's really close to my work. They explained to me that I could get a membership for a month for around $93 CDN (very expensive, I know) in a week if I put down a sort of deposit of $21. So I came back a week later with the other 7200 yen in hand to pay for the rest of it, and they were just like "Oh yeah, you also need to pay the membership fee". "No no," I explained, "We went through this very thoroughly last week and the membership counsellor said this is all I would have to pay. Look, I already put down the deposit." She then explained something to the effect of "But she didn't tell you about the HIDDEN fee of $39!" Ohhh, right. Anyway, I thought I wasn't understanding, but they brought a member with good English over to translate to me and I had understood completely: They were keeping my deposit and I could only get it back if I signed up for the $132 month-long membership. Anyway, I maintained my composure and just got up and left, but I was so enraged... I took down the manager's name and there will definitely be a fair amount of complaining and I WILL get that deposit back. Mark my words, Tokyu Sports Oasis...

"Munich, Christon Cafe, Fish and Chips"

Yesterday was my Nova Scotian friend Catherine's birthday and we went to see the movie "Munich" (thought-provoking!), followed by drinks at a Christianity-themed bar (lots of candles, flahsing lights, a multi-coloured disco ball and many old-looking pictures of Jesus and bible scenes). Oh, and its entrance has the only revolving door that I've seen in Japan. Very spiritual. I paid for fish & chips for dinner since it was her birthday, but I really regret this in retrospect. Treating people to things in Japan is just overly expensive and I won't be around for any birthday pay-backs since my working visa here ends in November. To the anonymous person who was whining a few posts ago about how I do things in expectation of gifts from other people, please ignore this paragraph. But I'm considering telling everyone here a fake birthday this year so that I can celebrate it before I leave. I did the same thing in Hong Kong and it was a smash hit, everyone had fun (people even bought me champagne). The day doesn't really matter, as long as you get your birthday in once a year.

"A Japanese Haircut"

You haven't seen any pictures of me for a while, so you're probably unaware of the fact that I haven't cut my hair since I was in Canada last November. Yeah, my hair's longer than it has ever been. It's kind of nice having longer hair, it keeps me warm on those cold Osaka nights and looks glamorous. Actually, the real reason I hadn't gotten it cut was because I was terrified of getting a Japanese haircut. Many, MANY people here have hairstyles that look horribly humorous and I didn't want to be one of them, so I was holding out. Anyway, I knew the time had come when one of my Japanese friends offered to find me a free haircut. One of his friends, you see, run some kind of upscale hair salon in Kyoto and she said that she'd be willing to cut my hair for free if I came at night-time.

So last night, I nervously showed up in Kyoto to get my hair cut. They were really friendly, though couldn't speak English, but my friend was there do translate. They asked me what I wanted. I had no idea, in Canada you just go to get a general haircut, but I don't think I wanted whatever that was here (possibly one of those stylish orange mullets I've been seeing all over the place). They gave me some magazines of Japanese men with really large, extravagant hairstyles and asked me which one I wanted. Definitely none of them, really. I asked for a magazine with foreigners, and they brought me some kind of Euro-trash fashion show magazine. Ugh... I just asked them to suggest something.

Their immediate suggestion was that I get my hair cut like Frodo from Lord of the Rings, since I already look like him. With that rejected, they suggested something that sounded to me an awful lot like a mullet. Their final suggestion was some kind of mohawk, so with this going nowhere, I just told them to cut it just a little shorter.

Anyway, they spent the next two hours or so trimming it very slowly, bit by bit. By the end, it actually looked ok, so I was really relieved. They then styled it for a night on the town, which looked pretty funny, but I couldn't change it until they were far out of sight since I was really, really thankful that they did this all for free for me. Actually, everyone involved was really nice and I saw the price list and it would have cost me over $50 regularly, I think. Anyway, I bowed a lot, thanked them profusely, and told them that I was really relieved, since I had told them at the beginning that I was really scared. Telling people I'm scared, here, seems to really relax them and makes people treat me really nicely. I've used it a lot... while teaching classes, opening a bank account, shopping in the supermarket... it seems to relax people, makes them more helpful and gives them a greater sense of satisfaction for easing the anxious foreigner's time in Japan.

"Case of the Missing Passport"

Oh, and as I said I'd tell you about my missing passport. Well, there's not much to tell. I realized a while ago that I hadn't seen it in a while. I called the Canadian Consolate and no one has turned it in, so I'm assuming it's kicking around my room somewhere (though I feel like I've turned the place upside-down searching for it). I really don't want to have to get a new one because I had all kinds of exciting stamps in this one and my Japanese working visa, but the consolate has sent me the appropriate forms to replace it. My goal for my week off, though, has been to uncover it, so today I'm going to go buy some storage containers and empty out and reorganize my room. In fact, here's a rare glimpse at today's "to do" list:

1) Find map to Bicycle Prison
2) Buy Japanese notebook and pens (I'm half-way through my Japanese beginner's course!!!)
3) Write blog <-- I'm here now>
4) Pick up bike
5) Get contacts back from Catherine (I forgot them in her purse - this may take a while since we only meet up once a month and she lives down south)
6) Buy storage containers
7) Clean Room
8) Find passport
9) Celebrate having found passport
10) Meet Kayo for Language Exchange
11) Prepare Naomi's English lesson

Oh, that's right. I have my first freelance private student on Sunday. I registered a few weeks ago with a tutoring company who says they'll find me some private students and I will be paid handsomely if things work out. Her English, they tell me, is VERY beginner. I don't have experience with such a low level, so I'm going to try to plan out a really exciting basic lesson with stimulating material such as "Hello, nice to meet you.", "My name is ___." "I am Japanese." etc.

Well, that's all I have time for now. I have to go... "Pick up bike". I'll leave you with a few pictures from Kobe's Chinatown.

Chotto Matte Kudasai...

Sorry I haven't updated in a long while. There have been some slight technical difficulties so I'll be sure to add a post of considerable size soon. Stay tuned.

[Left] Umeda - Beggar (bottom-right) text-messages someone on his cell phone. Somehow, it goes by unnoticed. Maybe Japanese pan-handling is a more lucrative career-choice than I once thought...
(Sorry about the quality, this photo was sneakily taken with my phone)