Congratulations to Japan's Princess Kiko (as I know you're reading this).
Today Japan is abuzz. Princess Kiko, who I usually hold in contempt due to her tainted commoner blood, has given Japan a breathing chance by giving birth to a male heir. Current emperor Akihito (shown below, looking not dissimilar to an evil ventriloquist's dummy) came out to announce the victory.
Japan, if you weren't aware, has endured a 40-year dry spell of no male heirs. This crisis has led to radicals lashing out by suggesting desperate measures, such as altering Japanese law to allow female emperors. Well, the people of Japan need not fear any longer: your savior is born and your empirical gender worries can be cast aside for another 80 or so years.
"Ryan, where have you been?"
I know you have a lot of questions.
Where have I been? What happened to August? Why have you not posted? Who are you? What am I doing here? etc. --- Well, all your questions will be answered in time. For now, let me tell you that things have been tumultuous and earth-shattering. But now I really have to get to bed. Check back again for a big update soon.
Ryan